Chapter 20 Im standing here, trying to take in what exactly it is that I am seeing. Is he her mate? Dawn asks. The question wakes me up. Yes, Rhiannon replies at the same time I say no. No, I say again, only for Rhiannon to look at me with hatred. You came home two weeks ago buzzing at the fact you found youre second chance mate, remember? I swear to the goddess if she dies, I will cut you out of my life, Alaric Jason Erstad! But, but… I dont remember saying that. I dont remember meeting my second chance mate. Who…? I think you might have to mark her, Dawn says. I look down at the girls. Isabella shakes her head and then begins counting again. She just stopped breathing, I hear Dawn whimper. I ignore Dawn and step towards the body laying askew on the floor. Shes beautiful. Her hair is naturally blonde and from the way it lays on the ground, you can tell shed been dragged from a toilet stall to her new resting spot. Her eyes are open, which looks eerie because there is no life behind them. I recognised her as soon as I saw her. Evie, something. Shes the girl Davey Olsen and his brother Trevor herded onto our pack lands with cattle prods. Shes on Drews tracking team. Mate? I ask Pax, my wolf. I think, yes, Pax replies as we look at her. I can feel a slight bond with her, but its weak… so weak. It reminds me of the bond I felt with Teresa as she lay dying in my arms. Tears spring in my eyes and I raise my hand to my mouth so as not to howl in pain. What… do I do? I murmur. Try marking her, Alaric. Please, Rhiannon begs. I look at my sister. Her eyes are hurting. Rhiannon knows what its like to be rejected. My sister could have been this girl, lying on the floor. But I didnt reject this girl, Evie. I dont remember her being my mate. My thoughts go to Teresa, how I had held her head in my lap and how had I rocked her in my arms while she passed away. I couldnt save her. But I could save Evie. Im on my knees before I think. A lot of blood had trailed from her mouth had trickled down to her neck. But I dont care for the blood. I push Isabella aside as I lean over Evie, her soft scent of honeysuckle filling my nostrils. I sigh as I breathe it in. My lips touch her skin, sending faint tingles. I elongate my canines and I bite, my teeth entering her flesh. Fresh blood fills my mouth and the only word that I can use to describe her taste is warmth, if warmth had a flavour. The taste of her blood unlocks everything in one go. And by everything, I mean everything. I remember seeing her for the first time, her beautiful face crossed between hope, shock and hurt when she saw me with Dharia, and worse, smelled what I had just done fifteen minutes earlier. I remember breaking up with Dharia, and why… I remember talking to Evie that night in her room, and kissing the crown of her head, promising more of that. I remember everything I wanted with Evie, and then I remember my feelings slowly fading. I retract my canines and lick the wound of my mark, my tears mixing in with my saliva. I cant believe what Ive done to her. The conversations I had with her when I started to forget who she was to me. When I think of her coming by my office this week, I cant picture her in my head. I know she was standing in my office; I know she was there, but her body is blurred. Theres nothing- like shes slowly being erased. I roll onto the back of my heels, these memories blasting themselves forward in an explosion. How could I forget who she is to me? How could I do that? Theres movement around me but I take nothing in. People are speaking but its like Im underwater. All I can think is, how could I do this? Alaric?! Rhiannon says, her face appearing in my vision. I…I I begin. I want to tell her I remember now, but Rhiannon keeps talking, at least, her mouth is moving. Well? she asks, but I shake my head. I see a paramedic move to pick Evie up, and I growl. Then you pick her up, Rhiannon growls back. I get off my haunches and move towards Evie. Shes lying in the recovery position, and shes breathing, but only slightly. I move my arms underneath her body and pick her up bridal style. Evie is limp in my arms, none of this arm around my neck thing to help support her. Her head lolls back and her arms fall out of my hold, but her breaths seem deeper and her chest rises and falls, which I think is a good sign. I follow the paramedics out of the bathroom. Figures I barely register block the hallway from the pub to the toilets and Im grateful. I continue to follow the paramedics towards the service exit. Outside a black van awaits. One of our packs ambulances. A paramedic opens the back doors and I nod as I step inside, placing Evie on the awaiting bed. The paramedic goes about strapping Evie in as her colleague closes the door behind us. I watch as she checks Evies vitals, her breathing, her heart rate, and her blood pressure. How is she? I manage to ask. The young paramedic shrugs. Shes alive and getting stronger. Well know more when the doctor sees her, Im told. I nod and just watch my mate breathe. I dont notice when we pull up to Silver Forest Hospital. The ambulance door opens, and I watch the paramedics pull Evie out on the stretcher. I follow as the head Doctor of Emergency meets us and has her wheeled into a private room. Its like Im in an out-of-body experience as I watch doctors and nurses come in and out of the room checking on Evie. A woman wearing teal scrubs walks in and begins to unlock the wheels of Evies bed. Where are you taking her? I ask, getting up from my chair. Shes being moved to a private room on the female floor, the woman tells me. I nod and numbly get up to follow. This hospital caters for a mixture of humans and werewolves. It was built just before the war. The last time I was here was when I was in the mortuary with Teresas parents to identify her body. This memory isnt lost on me. My last mate died, and my current mate almost did. I follow Evies bed into the elevator and down unfamiliar hallways, where shes placed into a private room with its own bathroom. Theres a two-seater sofa in the room and a small coffee table, but I pull a chair up to Evies bed and sit beside her. Alaric! mum cries, running into the room. She hugs me and wraps my arms around her shoulders, giving me the safety to let all my emotions out. Are you okay son? Dad asks when Im finally let out of my mothers embrace. I shake my head. I dont remember , I tell them. Mum looks at Dad, who looks at me with understanding. You came over for dinner two weeks ago, so happy to have met her. Can you tell us whats happened since then? Dad asks. I just shake my head and shrug. No! She could have died, dad! I could have killed her! But you didnt, mum says, rubbing my arm affectionately. Ill have Drews men and Lisa check your office and home, Dad says. Mum nods in agreement. But why? I ask. Your dad and I went through something similar, Mum replies. Its not my proudest moment, which is why we dont talk about it, he agrees. Mum takes dads hand and they both look at each other. But…how? How could I forget her? I ask. Well find out, Dad assures me. I nod, still trying to register everything thats happening. Alaric, how are you now? a doctor asks, walking in. I recognise him from earlier, but Ive forgotten his name. Still confused, Doctor, I admit. Henry, Tatum, the Doctor greets. How is she? Mum asks. Shes stable. Alaric claimed her which has helped her healing process. Alaric? the doctor says, looking over at me. Huh? As her mate, it is best that you stay near her to help her healing process. Touching her will help tremendously, the doctor advises. Whats wrong, with her? Will she wake up? I ask. Evie has tubes for oxygen in her nostrils and a drip attached to a needle in her hand. On her finger is a heart monitor. It depends on her healing, Alaric. What happened to her is not a common occurrence, the doctor says. Could I have killed her? I ask. Mum whimpers but the doctor shakes his head. I dont think so. I can have a cot brought in for you, but Henry, Tate, visiting hours are almost over, Im sorry. Thanks, Alex, mum says. The doctor, Alex, smiles and leaves the room. I look at my parents. I cant remember when they got they got here or how long it was before they arrived. Well leave you to it, Mum smiles. I nod and she leans over and hugs me. Take care, my boy, Mum tells me. Mum will pop by tomorrow. Ill talk to Jed and Drew and see what we can find out, okay? Dad says. I nod, still confused. Alaric? Dad asks, grabbing my attention. This is not your fault. Remember that he tells me. I nod in response but dont believe it. I could have done more. There must be something wrong with me. First Teresa, then Evie. I could have lost my second-chance mate, and if it hadnt been for my sister or Zoe, I may never have known. I pull my chair closer to Evies bed and take her hand in my own. Strong tingles erupt from our touch, and it immediately makes me feel better. Im woken up several times during the night with nurses checking Evies vitals. A nurse had brought me a cot to sleep in, making it up with sheets and blankets as well, but Id rather sit in the chair, my back at an angle as I lean on Evies bed. I dont want to leave her again. Mum comes back in the morning and makes me sit on the sofa to eat a breakfast burrito and drink coffee. I thank her but then my stomach grumbles some more. Oops, Ill get you some more. Sorry son, Mum says. She gets up and kisses my cheek. Ill be right back, mum tells me. I nod and lean back into the sofa. I did get some sleep last night, but Im still exhausted. Ive been trying to send my strength through my touch to Evie, and I hope its helping. I have a strong urge, an itch, to be next to her, to have her near me. It was like that when I eventually found her that day in her room.Have breakfast with me. Expect more of that. Those words I said to her meant so much to me at the time. We had breakfast together, and then… she became blurry. Some nurses walk into the room, and I watch them. One nurse has a cloth and it looks like hes pressing down on Evies face. Whats going on? I growl. Before I know it, Im standing there, holding the males wrist as the cloth drops out of his hand. Im just washing her, Commander, the nurse stutters. Not like that youre not, I tell him. Its his job, I hear Lisa from behind me. No, its not. Hes not touching her, I growl. Whats going on? I hear Mum ask when she walks in. Alaric wont let Justin wash Evie. Well, we can do that, cant we Leese? Mum says. Alaric, you need to let go of the nice nurse, Lisa says. He doesnt touch my mate, I growl. I feel my mothers hand on my back, and its only then that I let go of the nice nurses hand. Shes mine, I growl. I know Alaric. Why dont you sit outside and eat your breakfast, and Lisa and I will wash Evie? Okay? Mum asks. I look at my mother, her agate eyes mirror images of my own. Okay, I agree. The male nurse has gone, and Im grateful because I dont know what Id do to him if he was still here. I take my breakfast from my mother and head for the door, leaving Mum and Lisa to it. I dont know how long I wait outside, but Mum smiles at me when she finally comes out. My sweet boy, mum says, taking my hand. I grumble at that. Justin is gay, sweetheart, mum smiles. Dont care. I dont want him near her again, I grumble. Well, shes done. You can go back inside, Mum tells me. I nod and head back into the room. Evie is lying upright in the bed, her hair has been washed and plaited, and it sits damp on her shoulder. Instead of the clothes she was in last night, shes now in a patient smock. Her face is clean, and her eyes are closed. If I didnt know any better, Id think she was asleep. Thanks, I say, looking over at Lisa, who smiles as she grabs a bag. Im going to take this to launder, she replies, lifting the bag in her hand. I nod and return to my seat next to Evies bed and hold her hand. Mum leaves sometime after that, and Rhiannon and Evies friends come to visit, but still, she doesnt wake up. I spend another night by Evies side, interrupted by nurses who monitor her vitals. Im asleep when I think I hear her voice. Its her hand moving out of my own and the loss of tingles that finally wakes me up. What are you doing here? Evie asks again, her voice croaky from unuse. My mouth opens to reply but then she starts screaming at me to get out. Get out! Get out! Get out! What are you doing here? You should have left me alone! Get out! People rush into the room, including the doctor and Lisa and Im pushed away from where Im standing. Suddenly Evie goes quiet and everyone takes a step back like a cumulative sigh of relief. What? is all I can manage to say. Lisa walks over to me and rubs my arm. Weve sedated her, but dont go far, okay? Doctor Alex says. I nod, numb again. What just happened? I ask. The doctor and Lisa look at each other before turning back to me. Ive been doing some research. This is probably trauma from the rejection… Dr Alex begins. But I didnt reject her! I didnt know about her! I yell back. Doctor Alex gives me a sad look. Itll be okay, Lisa tells me. Just, stay near, the doctor tells me, patting my arm. The nurses and doctor leave me, even Lisa who apologises because shes got to get back to work. I return to my spot by her bed and watch her sleep. When Evie begins to rouse again, I quickly press the buzzer for a nurse and exit the room. Lisa responds, giving me a small smile before walking in. I walk up to the nurses station where I see Justin working in front of a computer. Can I use the phone, please? I ask. Su-sure, Justin replies, pulling a landline phone from the desk and onto the counter. The first person I call is Dad, and then I call Dawn. I tell them both that Evies awake, and then I return to the chair outside of her room. I want to go back into her room, but I feel through our bond she doesnt want me. You should go home, have a shower, change your clothes, Lisa tells me. Im needed here. But you also smell rank, and thats coming from me, Lisa tells me. I want to say goodbye first, I tell her. Lisa nods, and I take that as permission. I walk into the room and catch Evies eyes, but she quickly looks away. Im going home to shower, but Ill be back, I tell her. I wait for a response and begin to turn when I dont hear anything. You dont have to. Be back that is, Evie says. I turn and look at her. Again, she refuses to look at me, instead choosing to look at the wall. Ill be back, I say again. You smell of her, she replies. What? I ask. I dont know what shes talking about. You should have just left me, Evie replies. Still, she wont meet my eyes. Ill be back, I tell her again. As I walk out the door, I hear Evie tell me again I dont have to, and I hang my head in despair. I decided to ask a clerk at reception to call a taxi for me, and I waited outside for twenty minutes for one to arrive. Im just about to get in when I see Isabella, Erin, and Dawn, walk into the hospital. They dont see me, but Im happy that theyre there to give my mate company. I pay the driver before getting out when I arrive home. I havent lived with my parents since the war, building this place shortly after burying Teresa. The first stop I make is not inside, but to the tree I planted after Teresas funeral. The particular tree I planted in Teresas memory is an eucalypt tree because that is what Teresa smelled like… eucalyptus. Eucalyptus trees are not from this area, but this tree seems to have thrived in the soil. That and I had Ensley help me plant it. I squat down and remove the debris from the plaque at the base of the tree. Teresa Fiona Claris. Left too soon, the plaque reads. I almost lost my second chance mate last night, I tell the plaque. Like you, I didnt know about her until I almost lost her. What could I have done differently? I ask the plaque. The wind rustles in the trees, but like always, I never get an answer to my questions. Im sorry I couldnt have more time with you, Teresa. I wanted that. I dont want to lose my new mate. But I think I already have. I shower and change my clothes before heading straight back to the hospital. As I walk through the foyer of the hospital, Im stopped by Dharia. Hi? I say, surprised. I heard you were at the hospital. How is she? Shes awake, I reply. Thats good news then, Dharia smiles. Yes, it is. Im sorry that shes here. What happened to her? Uh, I reply. I dont want to say, because its because of me Evies here. I came to give you this. I made it. I know everythings… not good for you at the moment, so I added some ashwagandha to it, Dharia says, handing me a protein shake. Thanks Dharia. I havent eaten since breakfast, so this is… thank you, I say, taking a sip. Anything for you, Al. I like looking after you. I should go now though. See you tomorrow at work? she asks. I nod, taking another sip of the drink. See you then, I agree. I watch as Dharia leaves, her hips swinging side to side as she walks away. Humming, I take the elevator to Evies floor. When I arrive at Evies room. I notice her friends are still inside from their laughter, so I sit on the chair outside the room and let them have their privacy. I drink my shake and play on my phone that I had grabbed from home while I wait. Youre here, Erin states as she walks into the hallway. I look up at this she-wolf. I dont know much about her, only that Ive seen her with Isabella. Isabella walks out then and takes Erin by the arm, refusing to acknowledge me. I guess Im in the dog house, still, I say to Dawn when she enters the hallway. Give them time. Evies well-liked, Dawn says to me. Im beginning to see that. How is she? I ask because Evie barely tolerates my presence. Recovering. Take it slow. Shes been hurt before, but shell heal. And Alaric? You did the right thing, even if she doesnt think so, Dawn tells me. Thank you, I nod. Dawn smiles and says goodbye to me, before following her friends in the direction they left. I walk into the room and Im surprised when Evie does a double-take and looks at me. Hi, I say as I walk towards her. Hi, she replies softly. I said Id be back, I say. Evie nods, drawing her knees closer to her and hugging them. What have you got there? she asks. I look down at my shake. Ive drunk a quarter of it at the moment, even though the ashwagandha makes it taste a little funny. Just a protein shake, I admit. Oh, can I have some? Im thirsty, Evie asks. This is the first time she actually seems happy with me, and of course, Id give her anything she wanted. I hand her the drink and she smiles as she takes it from me. I watch as she opens the lid and takes a sniff of the contents inside. Your friend made this? Evie asks. Her face drops and suddenly the drink goes flying across the room, hitting the wall in an explosion of green slush. Get the fuck out of here. You still chose her! Evie growls. Im in shock at what has just occurred. Just leave. Youve done enough damage, she adds. I hang my head and turn around, retreating to the door. Oh, and Alaric? Evie calls out. I stop and turn around. Just because youve claimed me as yours, doesnt mean Ill do the same. Because Ill never claim you. I dont want you, she tells me, before turning her head to look at the wall. I hang my head in shame and head out the door. I dont want you. Whats wrong? my sister asks as she walks up to me. Im in the hallway, feeling utterly dejected. I had a protein shake Dharia made, and Evie threw it against the wall. She then told me shed never claim me as hers, I tell my sister. You are so stupid! Rhiannon growls. What? I asked, totally perplexed. I know you werent born dumb, but youve got a brain in there, use it, yah dumb arse, Rhiannon tells me. What did I do this time? Think! Think! You walk into your mates room with a drink another she-wolf gave you, which you accepted by the way. Whose job is it to care about you? Uh… Evie…? Yes, and who gave you the drink? Dharia. And whos your mate? Evie… When did Dharia give you the drink? Rhiannon asks, folding her arms. At the entrance of the hospital… I reply. What is she getting at? So its just coincidence that Dharia was waiting for you to give you a drink at the hospital? Because she always does that? Hang out at the hospitals entrance to give you a drink she got from who knows where? Every word Rhiannon just said turns in my head. Fuck! I cry out. I turn and head for the nurses station.