Chapter 19 Alaric This is for you, my friend, Dharia says, handing me the protein shake shes holding. Thanks, Dhar, but you dont have to, I tell her. I tell her this every time shes handed me a protein shake this week. Yes, I do, Dharia smiles. Well, thanks, I say again. She stays in my office, and it takes everything Ive got not to tell her to go away, I have work to do. I like Dharia, shes a great friend and confidant, and weve had a great friends-with-benefits relationship for years. But she always ruins it by wanting more than Im willing to give, so like all the other times, last week I ended our recent stint together. I wont claim her, because even though Ive lost my mate, Im not looking to replace Teresa. And because I wont claim her, it leads to us fighting. So were here, at an impasse. As a result, shes been making me these protein shakes as a way of apologising. I purposely take a big sip of the shake before putting it down on my desk. Well, Ill see you later. Maybe at lunch? Dharia asks. Sure, I nod, turning around and getting back to work. I hate my office. Its small and theres not enough room to do everything I want to do in it. Im my packs current Commanding Delta. My predecessor did the job for eight years before I challenged him and took over a year ago. I inherited this office the way it is, and although Ive wanted to move back into the original Commanding Deltas office, Ive been met with resistance. The original office has been turned into a nail salon for she-wolves in the pack, and its always busy. I see no way of getting the space that I long for, and its wearing me down. I sigh as I try to sort out the shift changes for the next fortnight. I changed it after Vince, the last Commanding Delta, stepped down, but Im never satisfied with it. I can never make everyone happy. Rhiannon, my sister, helped in the beginning, but again, I couldnt please everyone, and I had to change it back to the way it was. All Rhiannon would say is that I need to make it my own, and when I find a method that works, itll come. But I wish it would come sooner. Youd think being an Erstad Id have things easier, but no, its not. And things are just going to shit. I need more. I need more experienced Deltas to guide the younger ones. I need more experienced Deltas taking weekend and night shifts. The shit that happened with the Olsen boys herding a lone wolf into our territory and holding her in our cells is just one example. Fuck, I looked bad when I had to explain that incident to the Royal Council who visited earlier this week. Which is why Im here now, playing with rosters and shifts and schedules, trying to make them just right. But my head hurts and I just need a night out to get away from it all. To bury this fucktastry in the sand. A knock on the door disturbs my thoughts, and I rub my forehead, wondering when Ill ever cut a break. Yes? I ask, annoyed. I turn my chair one-eighty degrees to see whos just walked in. Thats another reason why I hate this room. My desk faces the wall, away from the door. So, when people come in, theyre met with my back. Sir, these are the latest target results, Neil says, coming in and holding me a folder. Thanks, I reply, taking the folder and dropping it unceremoniously on my desk. Neil gives me a slight nod and then leaves the room, making me sigh. Im so overwhelmed at the moment; I feel like Im stuck. I dont know how Vince managed. Although I dont think he cared. He cut down training sessions and the amount of Deltas we took on, all the while decreasing his office size to the small space it is today. It still surprises me how few losses we had at our recent trans-pack war. We could have been worse off. I still blame Vince for his role in the war. The what-ifs still ring in my head. What if we had trained more? What if we had a better relationship with members at our branch in Little Rock? What if? Deep down, I believe if we had been better prepared, I would never have lost Teresa. Families would never have lost their sons, daughters, sisters, mothers, fathers. Were supposedly a strong pack, but that day on the field, with the bodies of our friends and foes surrounding us, it didnt look like it. That day, holding Teresa in my arms as she breathed her last breath, still haunts me. I take another drink of my shake and open the folder that Niel had given me. The training scores are good, but I know weve done better. It kills me knowing that. Someone else knocks on my door and I just want to groan and tell whoever it is to go away, but when the door opens and one of my best friends, Kiran, opens the door, I grin. Hey! I call out, getting up and giving him a fist-high five. Hey! Kiran says, giving me an equally big grin. Kiran and I grew up together. Weve known each other forever, spending our childhood together as our dads are best friends. Kiran, along with his sister Dawn, and I spent many weekends playing in my tree fortress or in his parents pool. It was just us three, and then we met Leyton when we started school. There were the four of us until Dawn decided she wanted female friends to play Barbies with instead. And then it was us three boys. The three amigos. Is it lunchtime yet? Kiran asks. I turn and look at the analogue clock on my wall. I dont know, is it? I reply. Kiran rolls his eyes. You work too hard, he says. I just shrug. Before I became the Commanding Delta, all three of us were Deltas together. Now Im always in my office, Leytons learning to become a team leader, and Kiran joined the Silver Forest Police force. Weve all gone our separate ways, and I miss us. Says you, I reply, looking back at the pile of work on my desk. Youre the boss. You need to put your foot down, he replies. I shake my head. Both he and Leyton know the problems Ive been facing with Delta Command. The younger Delta Team Leaders are flexible, but the ones from Vinces era like things the way it is. Theyre the ones whove dug their heels in and complained about every change Ive made. Unfortunately, theyre still in the majority. How you been? Kiran asks. You know how it is, I say. Kiran nods. He and Leyton have had many drinking sessions with me complaining about my role. I just want it to run like it used to, with Ben, you know? I complain. I close my office door behind me and walk with Kiran to the food court. He had help, Kiran reminds me. I had help. I had Rhiannon and Raven, remember? That didnt work, I grumble. You need a mate, Kiran replies. I roll my eyes. With who? Dharia? Perhaps. There are many she-wolves out there. Get to know one. Its not that easy. You know what Dhars like, I reply. She always seems to end up in your periphery, he muses. I shake my head. I dont know how. I keep breaking up with her. Weve noticed, Kiran replies. Its not a secret that my friends tolerate my friendship with Dharia. We arrive at the food court, which is busy as always, and head to Papadams, the Indian food shop we like, to order Lamb Korma with rice and a coke. What happened to your protein shake? Dharia asks as she walks up to our table with her hamburger and chips. I look at Kiran, who rolls his eyes and I smile. I left it in my office, I reply with a shrug. Dharias face drops. Ill get you another one, she offers. What about me? Kiran asks, just as Im about to tell Dharia she doesnt have to. Get fucked. Last time I got you a protein shake you took a sip and threw it in the bin, Dharia replies with a sour expression. It was purple! Kiran complains. Well, I actually made it for myself, not you… Ew! You put strawberry jam in it with peanut butter! It was gross! That was my favourite sandwich growing up! Yeah! Sandwich. You added it to a drink! Who does that! Kiran complains. Shut up, freak, Dharia says, throwing a hot chip at his face. Hey, dont waste food, you need the carbs, Kiran protests. I grin as I watch them argue. Carbs make you fat, she retorts. Not having carbs makes you grumpy, Kiran replies. So? So, youre a grumpy bitch. You need all the carbs you can get, Kiran says, picking up one of her fries and eating it. Fuck you, Kiran, Dharia states unhappily. No thanks, Alarics been there. I dont want his sloppy seconds, Kiran smirks. Why you arse… Dharia growls, about to get up from her seat. I grab her forearm to stop her. I think thats enough now, I suggest. Dharias face softens as Kiran represses a smile. Yeah, so you should stop, Dharia tells Kiran. Dharia, I growl. Its just Im missing you, Al, Dharia mopes. Kiran pretends to gag, and Im right there with him. Where once I found her little gestures cute, for some reason I find them repulsive. How was work? I ask Kiran, trying to avoid the inevitable flirting from Dharia. Humans are funny creatures, Kiran says, talking about the humans who live in Silver Forest and the run-ins hes had with a few of them. Growing up, our human population has increased significantly. Now the population of humans versus werewolves is about forty-sixty. Are we going to Howling Moon tonight? Dharia asks, interrupting Kirans recount of a human named John, because arent they all named John, or something? Sure. Alaric? Yeah. Why not, I agree. What about Leyton? Kiran asks. Hes on night shift. Border patrol, I explain. So just us three then? Dharia smiles. //\\///\\\//\\ I rock up to Kirans at eight. He still lives at home with his parents, and I head for the basement. Kane, Kirans dad is there, playing pool with his mum, Lisa. Hey Alaric, how are you? Kane asks me, grinning. Im getting there, I reply. Well if you need any help… Kane suggests. The Royal Council are sending some people over, so hopefully that will help, I admit. Kane nods. Kane is one of our older Deltas, but unlike the majority, he goes with the flow and doesnt mind the changes Ive tried to implement. Hes also my dads best friend, so if he didnt like it, hed tell me straight, anyway. Leave him alone, have you eaten, mi hijo? Lisa asks. I smile at her. Lisa is a witch, with a Latin background. She grew up speaking Spanish and is from a coven from the North. Growing up, she always tried feeding me her Latin dishes, which always tasted delicious. I ate, actually, but I wouldnt mind leftovers, I reply. Kane growls. Mi Hijo? Really? Those leftovers are for me, boy, Kane complains. Lisa just laughs and slaps his arm. Ill put some in a container for you to take home. I made cazuela, Lisa tells me. Yum, I smile. Lisa grins and passes her pool cue to Kane before heading off upstairs. He wont be able to take it, you know, hes out drinking! Kane shouts after her. The toilet flushes and Kiran walks out shaking his hands. What did I miss? he asks, looking between me and his father. Your mum is giving away her cazuela to this blight, Kane replies. What? But its my favourite! Kiran complains. Mine too! I protest. Hi everyone! Lisa let me in, Dharia smiles, heading towards us. Hi Dhar, Kiran greets. Hi, I say. Kane just nods, he doesnt like Dharia much. Like father like son. Did you finish the shake I made you? Dharia asks, giving me a sweet smile. I look at her, a feeling of warmth filling me. I finished it. Thanks, Dhar, I smile. Dharia grins and comes over to hug my arm. I smile and look down at her head. Shes shorter than Id like, and I can see her brown roots growing in from this view. For some reason, it niggles at me that her hair colour is fake, but I dont know why. Are we going? Dharia asks, looking around the room. No, the boys were going to play a game against me and Lisa. Werent you? Kane suggests. Oh! Id like to play too! Dharia pouts. And Id like to win, Kiran says under his breath. I chuckle, making Dharia look up at me expectantly. I only play with my mate, and its a paired game, Kane tells her. But Ive seen you play with Beta Henry before, Dharia protests. Hes my best friend, Kane replies. I can see that Dharia feels rejected and my heart sorrows for her. Whats going on? Lisa asks, coming over with a container of food in her hand. Were playing against you, Kiran replies. It was after ten when we finally left Kirans parents. We had started our drinking there and by the time our Uber arrived, we were all fairly merry. Kiran sat in the back seat with me, making Dharia sit beside the Uber driver. Being big werewolves, there was no room in the back for Dharia, and no matter how much she protested, Kiran refused to relinquish his position in the back seat. Which left Dharia with a sour expression while Kiran sat there looking smug. Howling Moon is a bar owned by our pack and run by our pack members. Because of this, we skipped the line and walked through the doors without having to wait. The pubs interior is a little more upper-class than some of the bars in Little Vallis, but for years its becoming more and more popular for the younger crowds. On Tuesday nights they host book clubs and poetry, on Wednesdays, its open mike nights, on Thursdays they hire comedians and on Fridays its karaoke night and dancing. Saturdays Howling Moon is open as just a pub, with a DJ and dancing. Its open during the day as well, and Ive been told businessmen like to come here for their liquid lunches. We walk towards the booths when Kiran suddenly stops. Dawn! What are you doing here? Kiran asks, his smile widening. I stand back and watch Kiran chat with his sister. We rarely see Dawn at the pub, as she prefers staying at home and sitting on her computer, so its good seeing her out and about. Dawn and Kiran look very different to each other, even though they are twins. Dawn is short like Lisa but with fair skin, blue eyes and thick brown hair. Kiran, on the other hand, is tall like Kane, but his skin colour is a light shade of brown, lighter than his mum, and he has dark brown hair and brown eyes. If you didnt know they were related, you would never have guessed it. Dharia takes my hand, and although it feels a little odd, I dont stop her. Ill let them know then, Kiran says, giving his sister a hug and kissing her cheek. Ill be there tomorrow, Dawn says, rolling her eyes. I smirk as Kiran gives her a wave and then walks towards us. Shes coming by the house tomorrow for lunch, Kiran tells me as we head for our booth. Is Lisa making more cazuela? I ask, hopefully. Hell no! We had that for dinner. She made me buy ingredients for Lamb al asador, so I think were having that. Yum! Can I come? I ask, making Kiran laugh. I sit opposite Kiran and Dharia slides in next to me. I roll my eyes at Kiran, and he just shakes his head. Drinks, anyone? Kiran asks. Manhattan! Dharia grins. Kiran rolls his eyes and leaves for the bar. How was your day? Dharia asks once Kiran goes. Just like every other day, I reply. You know, if you ever need any help… I could use some more trainers, especially with the younger pups. No, I meant with the paperwork. Wouldnt it be nice if we worked together? Uh… It would be so nice if we were together, Dharia says again. Whats up? Kiran asks, coming over with a tray of drinks. Nothing, I reply, gratefully taking my beer off Kiran. We sit there and chat some more, with Dharia leaving to get us all another round of drinks. She returns with a beer for Kiran and me, but both drinks have a slice of lemon in them. Whats this? I ask, looking at the foreign fruit slice in my drink. Oh, Peter just asked if I wanted a slice of lemon in the drinks and I said yes without even thinking, see, she says, showing us her tall glass with lemon slices in it. I shrug and take a sip of my drink. It has a strange taste and I shudder. Tastes funny, I admit. Yeah, its not my usual. Itll do I guess, Kiran adds. Just drink it, youre lucky its free, Dharia replies, rolling her eyes. Kiran continues to drink his beer and I give in and drink mine too. The sharp taste at the end doesnt go away, but the more I drink it, the better I feel. I look over at Dharia, whos having a conversation with Kiran and smile. Dharia is pretty, with a nice curvy figure. Weve been friends for what feels like forever, and Id like to consider her as one of my good friends. For all the times she annoys me, I think its funny how we often always end up in bed together. A song comes on, or should I say, someone is singing a song on the stage, and I turn my head to see who it is. Everything okay? Dharia asks. Yeah, its… nothing, I reply, feeling a little stunned. The voice seemed familiar, but not. It almost called to me, but when I saw Dharias pretty little doe-eyes looking up at me, I wondered what I was thinking. One moment, Dharia grins, kissing me on the cheek before leaving. Gross man, Kiran complains once shes gone. What is? Dharia. She knows right? Kiran asks. I assume hes talking about our current break, so I give him my reassuring smile. Yeah, but it cant hurt, right? I ask. Kiran rolls his eyes, and he looks unhappy. What man? I know you dont like her, but… Thats just it. I dont like her. Shes always hanging off you, and no matter what Leyton and I say, you dont take the hint, He responds. Shes a friend! Sure. Im your friend, but you dont see me kissing you, do you? he asks. I have no idea where this is coming from. I watch him gulp down the rest of his drink and then get up to leave. Where are you going? I ask. Gotta see a man about a horse, he replies. I nod and watch him leave. Wheres Kiran? Dharia asks when she gets back. Bathroom, I reply. I take a drink of my beer and think about the conversation I just had with Kiran. Kiran, and Leyton as well, have never really accepted Dharia into our friendship group. Shes one of our top Deltas, but for some reason, theyve never been as happy as I have about our friendship with her. We met Dharia at high school when she moved from Little Rock to Silver Forest. She was in Kirans English class from memory and tagged along with him during recess on her first day. I think we all tolerated her at first before we became friends with her. But lately, Kiran and Leyton have seemed more hostile towards Dharia. I wonder if shes noticed. How have you been Dhar? Like really been? I ask. I want to know if shes noticed our friends changes towards her, and if she knows why. Ive been good. Although, you know, I miss us, she says sadly. I know, Im sorry, I just dont think Im right for you, I tell her. She looks at me, sadness in her eyes. So you dont feel anything for me? Youre not attracted to me? she asks. I go to reply when she starts speaking again. Im attracted to you, Al. Were good together. Were always good together. How can you not see it? Dharia places her hand on my thigh as she speaks, and I dont want to take it off. After losing Teresa, I thought Id never have anyone to care for me again. But with Dharia… Dhar… Al, she pouts. Fuck I like the look of that. Whats the harm? Its not like I want anything serious to do with her. I let Dharia move her hand towards my dick, and I lean forward, gently kissing her lips. She responds by throwing her arms around my neck and shoving her tongue in my mouth. I move my hands to her hips, pulling her closely towards me. Dharia moans and Im about to smile when suddenly shes ripped out of my arms. What the fuck are you doing? Rhiannon, my sister, growls. Rhiannon! Fuck! What the fuck was that? I asked, surprised. Dharia is on the floor, dishevelled and attempting to get herself back up. Stay down! Rhiannon growls, her Beta voice coming through. Because its a Beta order, Dharia has to comply. What the hell Rhiannon? Why? Dharia complains. She looks around at everyone for support but no one notices. Keep quiet, Rhiannon then orders, before turning to me. Her face is furious. If she dies, fuck Alaric. Youre coming with me, Rhiannon growls, grabbing my forearm and trying to pull me out of the booth. What? No! What the hell Rhiannon? I argue. Im not going with her. What the fucks gotten into my sister? Zoe said so, Rhiannon states, pulling at me again. Zoes name makes me stop resisting, and I let Rhiannon pull me out. Zoe is Rhiannons best friend and a white wolf. White wolves are rare and in Zoes bloodline, gifted. Zoe has the gift of premonition, so if Zoe said I had to go with Rhiannon, theres a damn good reason. Stay! Rhiannon growls again as we pass Dharia. I let Rhiannon lead me towards the toilets and follow her into the female bathroom. The scene before me is not what I expected. On the ground, Erin, I think her name is, is doing CPR on the body before her. Isabella, a she-wolf who works in the nursery, is standing there counting. Dawn is also in the room, standing and watching, tears running down her face. twenty-eight, twenty-nine and… Isabella says, bending over and cupping her mouth over the figures and giving two breaths. Nothing, she says, as Erin continues applying compressions.