Chapter 17 We return back to Dimitri's apartment, him leaving for work, me spending the day with Anna. During Anna's nap time and additional services, I try to squeeze in her nanny search and keep up with work emails and requests. But in terms of finding Anna a nanny, or any of my work, my heart isn't that into it. I like it here, if I'm being totally honest. And with each passing day, I'm growing more certain that Dimitri is the man I should ask for help in my search for Cadence, not the man I should be investigating. By the time I put Anna to bed, I sit on the couch, tired but far more stable than I was this morning. Whatever I said to the therapist, it's been the equivalent of throwing up. Like I've expelled the poison and now my body can finally recover. I'm left drained but more balanced. And I've had some time to consider the man who picked up Cadence's phone. For all I know, that was Cadence's latest boyfriend. Unlike me, she has no trouble hopping into bed with men. Maybe she didn't tell him about me, or maybe she did. Maybe she was like, my former best friend is turning into a stalker. Which, when I think about it, might actually be true. I just can't let go of the fact that she might be in trouble. Then again, there is at least some evidence that she chose the trouble. Leaving work like that. Maybe I've had the whole thing wrong... I hear the ding of the elevator, and I close my laptop, turning to watch Dimitri walk into the room. "You're home." "I'm home," he rumbles, moving toward me. He barely breaks stride as he reaches down and lifts me into his arms, before he settles on the couch with me in his lap. Things have been so muddled, I've hardly had time to appreciate his strength, or the lengths he's gone to make me feel good. But I do now, pressing my chest to his as I lean in and kiss his mouth. He feels so good, tastes amazing as my fingers thread into his hair. He kisses me back, long and slow, before he leans away, looking into my eyes. "I was a little worried you'd be upset with me." I stare back, my eyes wide with surprise. He's never insecure. "Why?" "I made that appointment, you clearly weren't ready for it." I sigh with a shake of my head as I lean back into him. "I feel better for it, and I'm not sure I was ever going to push myself to go." And that is another point Cadence had been trying to make. I need to push myself out of this very tight comfort zone if I'm going to recover, not just exist. I'm starting to really see it. He kisses me, his mouth guiding mine in a melding that is so filled with simmering passion that it steals the air from my lungs. I barely notice when he's lifting me again, standing with me in his arms. I've threaded both my arms around his neck, my hands in his hair, my mouth completely open to his. I don't pay attention to where we're going until Dimitri starts easing down so that my feet are on the floor. We're in his room, my toes sinking into the thick carpet. I've barely gotten my balance when he pulls me flush against his body, pressing us together from hip to chest, without a bit of air in between. I moan into his mouth, so ready to be wrapped up in him that I'm irritated by the clothes that separate us. As if he senses my wish, he fists my tank top in his hands and then starts working it up my body. I step back just enough so he can pull the cotton shirt over my head and then I tug at the buttons of his dress shirt. But I only make it halfway down the row of buttons before he hooks a hand around one of my ass cheeks and pulls my hips back into the cradle of his. His rock-hard cock pushes right where I need it, and I have to pause in my pursuit of undressing him to tip my head back and arch against him to feel the full length of him against my body. With his other hand, he unhooks my bra as I finally get the last button undone. I start shoving the shirt off his shoulder, forgetting that it's tightly cuffed at the wrists. Which means, the fabric bunches at his hands and doesn't come off. "Shit," I mumble. "Apparently I suck at undressing a guy." He chuckles, shrugging the shirt back on, and undoing the cuffs so that he can pull the garment off and shuck it to the side. "Your clothes are far easier to remove than mine." Then he pulls the t-shirt he's wearing up and over his head, revealing his bare chest. I can't help myself, I lift both hands, running them over his muscles, his skin, covered by his chest hair, warm and tempting. "Take off your pants, milaya," he rumbles, his nipples pebbling under my touch. I take my hands from him, eager to do as he's commanded. I've lost that hesitation I had before, that little fear that was my first instinct before I remembered it would be pleasure with him. I yank down my leggings and underwear, even as he rips his belt off, tossing it to the floor. I'm naked already, his eyes sliding down my body as he kicks off his shoes. "Bend over the bed," he rumbles. I turn around, doing as he commands. I do feel a small shiver of apprehension then. I'm so exposed... A soft thud sounds behind me and I look back to see Dimitri on his knees. I instantly relax. I don't know how he does it, feeling my fear, but he does. And every time he corrects, making me feel so safe and secure. I relax again, my thighs falling apart as his hands run up the back of my legs. "I can smell you." I can smell it too. We've barely started and I'm dripping wet. I wet my lips, wincing with embarrassment. "I think I'm so new at this, I can't control my reaction⁠-" "I love the way you smell," he growls and then he leans forward enough to run his tongue up my seam. It feels so good, I gasp in a breath that ends on a moan. His mouth vibrates against my exposed flesh. "I love the way you taste even more." He called me his love today. I heard it. I'm trying not to read into it too much, but I know that my feelings are getting involved, because I replayed the timber of his voice at least a hundred times in my head throughout the day. He licks me again, circling my clit with his tongue, making my thighs shake with a desire so intense, it overwhelms me. My fingers dig into the covers, clenching them into fists in the blankets as I bury my face to muffle another moan. My back is arched so deep, I think I might break, but I'm chasing his touch, the pleasure so intense I can't keep quiet as I toss my head back. Which means, he only works me harder, hitting me right where I need it. My eyes are squeezed tight, my body trembling so fiercely, I'm whimpering with high-pitched cries. Every time he touches me, it's the best experience of my life. I'm so taut, my entire body is engaged. "Dimitri," I beg. "I...I..." I let out a keening scream, falling over the edge, an orgasm ripping through me. He's up before the tremors have stopped, ripping open his pants, and shucking them down to his knees. "I want to be inside you, love." I look back over my shoulder. That's the second time today he's called me love. Does he know what it does to me? How it makes me feel? "I want that too," I say, our eyes locked together. Granted, I'm lying and he's on his knees, but looking into his eyes, I don't feel anything but excitement. He lines his body up to mine, pushing the tip of his cock inside me. "All right?" "Good." As ever, he's being so careful with me. I'm so appreciative, I actually feel tears misting my eyes. I never dreamed a man could be this combination of strong and kind. "Are you sure?" he pulls back out and leans over my back to kiss my temple. "You're crying, milaya." I blink back the tears. "No. Not crying. Or maybe yes, but they're happy tears, promise. I'm just...thank you." His brows lift, but he doesn't ask as he sinks back inside me, this time going deeper, not stopping until he's filled me in the most satisfying way. We both groan. That's when he answers, "Don't thank me for doing my duty as a man. Intimacy is built on trust. It's not a gift that a man asks your permission to touch you and only does so in ways that make you both feel good. It's your right." My breath catches as I stare at him. Everything Dimitri has done and said since I met him has painted a picture for me. This is not a man who hurts women. Not ever. This is a man who can be trusted. I feel it deep in my bones. I don't know why I didn't see it before, but I do now. Whatever my doubts and suspicions are, there must be a reasonable explanation for Cadence's disappearance. He pulls out and sinks back in until he bottoms out. I push up my backside, wanting as much of him as I can get. He grabs my hips, using the leverage to set the pace until I'm panting with the pleasure that's building inside me again. How does he make me feel this good? I can't ask out loud, all I can do is clutch the bedding as the ride gets faster. We're both so close, our lovemaking is starting to lose the art, the steadiness of the stroke, when he reaches around and presses two fingers to my clit. I explode again, groaning his name as I shatter. He roars, his body shuddering as he cums. I look over my shoulder again, watching the pleasure that pulls every muscle taut. He's gorgeous like this, masculine and feral but also so powerful. I want to drink him in. Tattoo him in my memory. His eyes slowly open, meeting mine. My lips part, words I don't dare say crowding my mouth. I want to tell him that I think I might be falling in love. I want to confide in him about Cadence. His hand slides up my spine, moving between my shoulder blades before he wraps his hand around the back of my neck. "You must be tired." I barely slept last night, and two amazing orgasms have completely sapped any energy I have left. My eyes flutter closed. "I am." He gives a small laugh. "No falling asleep yet. Let me get you under the covers." "I can go back to my room," I answer, making no attempt to actually move. His arms slide under me, turning me over as he lifts. I wrap mine around his neck, kissing behind his ear as he pulls down the covers and settles me on the mattress, covering my body back up. I snuggle in. "Are you coming to bed with me?" "You know I am," he answers, moving around the bed. "Last night was ridiculous, you in your room and me in this large bed all alone." That makes me smile, a small laugh breaking from my lips. It was ridiculous. I turn on my side as he climbs and wraps his larger body around mine. He feels like heaven and I sink into the embrace, already half asleep as I hum out my pleasure. That's when his phone rings. I jerk awake, my brow furrowing even as he rolls away. "I'm sorry, Ava, I have to take this." "Of course." But he's already sitting on the side of the bed. He answers the call still naked. "Trent?" I remember the name, know that this is one of his most trusted men. I hear the low rumble of a male voice, Dimitri's body stiffening with every word. His head whips around, his eyes narrowed at me, the accusation in his gaze stealing my breath. "I'm going to need you to repeat those words," he rumbles sitting taller. "How does Ava know Cadence?" I gasp in a breath, sitting up, as my whole body stiffens. This is bad. Very bad.