Chapter 18 Vivian's POV Get 5 > Menu I don't even realize I'm crying until I reach my room . My body shakes with quiet sobs as memories of what Alder said flood back . Was he lying , or did he simply not know Alpha Orion as well as he thought ? Celibacy , my ass . I curse under my breath . I wish I weren't a virgin . After seeing what I just did , I could've gone on a fucking spree if fear hadn't held me back . The fear of giving myself to just anyone , that's what stopped me . But next time I see Alpha Thorne , I'm taking him up on his offer . No hesitation . " Get dressed , Viv , " Alpha Orion says suddenly , his voice cutting through the haze of my thoughts . I glance at him , my stomach twisting , and slowly rise . I pick up my clothes , my movements automatic , and start to leave . " Wear your clothes , Viv , " he commands , voice sharp . " And don't leave until I tell you to . " I feel drained . Tired of fighting , tired of arguing . He has made his point , loud and clear . He probably believes I'm not worth the effort , that everything he's done is some form of charity . " May I leave now ? " I ask cautiously , and he regards me with a long , silent stare . It's as if he wants to say something but can't find the words . " Did you heal well from the attack ? " he finally asks . My eyebrow arches, incredulous . This is the same man who didn't check on me once during my recovery , and now he acts concerned ? " I didn't know you cared , " I reply , letting the sarcasm drip from my voice . He runs his fingers through his hair , frustration evident . " You don't have to be nice to me , Alpha Orion . I get it . I'm not your type . Stop touching me out of pity- it hurts more than being mean . I have nothing to offer you , so just let me be . I won't come to your office again . Do whatever the hell you want , " I say , turning sharply and heading for the door . He doesn't stop me . I guess that counts as agreement . I bolt to my room , lock the door , and collapse onto the bed . My tears come again , hot and bitter . I feel humiliated , rejected , and ashamed . Furious with myself for crying in his presence , I swear I'll never let that happen again . I replay everything in my head : how I told him what I wanted , how he let me down . He asserts his dominance , and I let him . But the truth is , I wanted him - not because of the woods or my near - death brush , as he might think , but because I've developed feelings for him . I curl up and cry , the helplessness pressing down on me . Eventually , I decide I need the woods . Maybe a rogue will end my misery . I stop at the security post marking the forest's edge . As I inch closer , a Kappa's voice calls out sharply : 14:37 7.32 % < Chapter 18 Get 5 > Menu " Luna Viv ! You are no longer allowed in there . None of us is . It's not safe , " he warns . " Whose orders ? " I ask , irritated , but before he can respond , Alpha Orion's voice pierces my mind : " Mine , Viv . I mean it . I won't always be around to save you from rogue Alphas , " he says , the authority in his tone undeniable . I freeze , realization hitting me like a punch . He's the whitish - grey wolf that saved me . I stop in my tracks , turning back toward my room silently . That night , I sleep with knots in my stomach , uncertain of what the future holds with Alpha Orion . Two months pass quietly . Alpha Orion avoids me like the plague , keeping his distance completely . It's finally my twentieth birthday . My father calls to wish me a happy birthday , but I don't feel much joy . Twenty years old , still without a mate - it's a glaring issue . I debate going to eat with the pack in the dining hall , but at the last minute , I stay behind and let the omegas deliver my breakfast . Afterwards , I curl up in bed . I expect Alpha Orion to summon me for training , but no one comes . No one calls . Showered and dressed in pajamas , I link with an omega and have her bring me a giant bowl of ice cream . I sit back , enjoying the sweetness , escaping into the creamy indulgence . Halfway through my ice cream , someone knocks on the door . I rise reluctantly , knowing I look like a mess , but I don't care . Alder stands there , smiling . I smile back , relief warming me . I have no quarrels with him . " You look awful , " he says , and I thank him for the compliment , dryly . " Get dressed . I want to take you somewhere , " he says , and my eyes light up . Anywhere but here . I quickly get ready and follow him outside . " Where are you taking me ? " I ask , curiosity and excitement mingling . " Do you have a place in mind ? " he replies . I grin , an idea forming . " Take me to Alpha Thorne's packhouse , " I say boldly . Alder's smile falters . " You need to stop this , Viv . You know Alpha Orion detests your association with Thorne . You are Luna , for goddess ' sake , " he warns , carefully . " I'm just an insurance policy . Thorne likes me , and I'm lonely , Alder , " I confess bluntly . He pauses , the words hanging in the air . " I told you to give Alpha time . He'll come around , " he insists , but I laugh . " He has come around , Alder . Not just with me , " I say , and his gaze flicks uneasily to the road ahead . 14:37 7.5 % < Chapter 18 " What do you mean , Viv ? " he asks cautiously . Get 5 > = Menu " He was getting freaky with a gorgeous brunette in his office two months ago , " I reveal , and he shakes his head . " Isla ? " he guesses . " Isla is Alpha Thorne's cousin . She loves throwing herself at Alpha Orion . " " It didn't seem that way . They were kissing , " I insist , pretending to deliver insider gossip , though my chest tightens at the thought . " I'm sure she was kissing him and he pushed her off , " he argues , but I see no point in debating further . " Okay , Alder . If you say so , " I relent , forcing the issue to drop . Thinking about it is painful enough without arguing . " You can take me anywhere fun that Alpha would approve of . I don't want to get you in trouble , " I add , winking . Alder smiles mischievously and presses the accelerator , Soon , we arrive at a lovely park . He calls ahead to the diner , and soon , a pizza is delivered for us . I love it . We eat , laugh , and enjoy the rare freedom . But as we drive back toward the settlement , a creeping sadness fills me . I hide it well , refusing to let Alder see . The day has been perfect , and now it's nearly over . I approach my room , but the door is locked . My key refuses to work . Frustrated , I try forcing it open . " Come to my room , " Alpha Orion commands , his voice firm in my mind . I clench my jaw , annoyed . There's no way I'm letting him ruin my night . Still , I head to his room , curiosity gnawing at me , prepared to see what the hell he wants . 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