Kiyan just stood there, lit a cigarette and looked up at the night sky. I didn't know what to do, so I just walked up to the swing, sat down, and slowly rocked back and forth while glancing over at him every now and then. He was now typing around on his cell phone, but he kept glancing at me and slowly I wondered why he had brought me here. Did he think I was just a little kid and a playground like this would make me happy? That I would then forget the drama at home? That was unlikely to happen and then my thoughts fell to my mother again, which made me feel that tightness in my chest again. I hastily jumped off the swing to get my feet back on solid ground and gasped for air. "You have to relax," I suddenly heard Kiyan close to me and hesitantly I looked at him. As always, he looked at me with that coldness and I had no idea what he was thinking or feeling. "How am I supposed to relax with all this?" I asked him and then continued. "Your father-" "He's not my father," he interrupted me unexpectedly, getting a contemptuous look on his face. I got to the point where I didn't understand anything anymore. He noticed my questioning face, avoided my gaze, and then walked through the sand to a bench where he sat. I took a few deep breaths and then, eager for answers, I ran over to stand in front of him. "My parents died when I wasn't 10 years old. Thomas had previously offered to take care of me if something happened to them, for money of course," he explained, ruffling his black hair. "And my parents had a lot of money." "What did they die of?" I asked in silence, hoping not to offend him. He looked at me with such a pained expression that I wanted to hug him immediately. That pain in his eyes hurt even me. I didn't know why, but I would always prefer the coldness he usually radiated to this expression here. "A car accident," he breathed softly, then dropped his face into his hands. An uncomfortable shiver ran down my spine while my stomach turned what felt like a thousand times. I made such a fuss about my mother, while others had experienced so many worse things. He didn't say anything more and there was a silence that wasn't uncomfortable in any way. I sat down next to him, making sure to leave enough space between us until I gasped in shock when he took my hand in his and looked over at me. "I've never told anyone that. Everyone thinks that Thomas really is my father," he said and then looked deep into my eyes. I felt overwhelmed again, as always in such situations, and I would have preferred to flee, but I wanted to be there for him. "I won't tell anyone about this," I assured him, then looked down at our hands. I immediately noticed the tattoo on his hand, which showed a small star. I gently ran my finger over it, but he pulled his hand out of mine so quickly that I jumped. He pulled the sleeve of his jacket up far enough that I couldn't see the tattoo and I immediately knew he didn't want to tell me about it, so I didn't ask any more. "Are you and Cody..." he then turned to me, leaning back on the bench while I frowned, only slowly realizing what he was about to ask. "Oh god no. I've only known him a few days." "And then you're already holding hands?" he grinned superiorly and I felt my cheeks turning red at such a question. "It was more of a friendly way of being there for each other. At least I heard you and your va... Thomas arguing." He nodded and then looked forward again to light another cigarette. "How much do you actually smoke?" I asked him worried, but he only smiled. "I don't actually smoke at all. Only when I'm stressed and today wasn't my day," he explained and then looked back at me. "You know Cody as a boyfriend isn't going to work, right? Girls and boys can't be friends." His brown eyes scrutinized me very closely and somehow I had to unconsciously think of Micah, with whom I was friends for so many years until it came to the kiss. I kind of had to agree with him, but I didn't want to, so I got up and went into defensive mode. "Of course you can. I've also been friends with Micah for years." He suddenly laughed and got up as well to stand so close in front of me that my heart suddenly started racing. Since he was taller than me, I had to raise my head to look into his eyes and I studied his face questioningly. Why was he laughing? "Micah tells everyone how great they think you are. A blind man realizes that he's in love with you and you want to tell me you don't know that?" I stood there, frozen, avoiding his gaze. Of course, this feeling was always there, if only because Juline kept bringing it up, but I didn't want to accept it and still hoped that we would just become friends again. "There was a kiss," I then confessed. "And now in the friendship somehow different." "Who could blame him," he whispered softly and I looked him straight in the eye after those words. Once again I was caught in the cold brown and my thoughts seemed to dissolve completely. A moment arose that no longer allowed me to move or think clearly. It was just him... and me. Secrets and the clear night sky above us. I was starting to enjoy the tingling in my stomach and already imagining his lips on mine, but before anything could happen, he looked away from me and walked past me. "Let us drive." And then there was the emptiness again and the thoughts of home that took over me completely.