Chapter 25 He called over yesterday to ask me what kind of ring you would want . I stare at her , horrified . And hes going to go all out with a grand proposal , and I just want you to be excited when he does it , you know ? The walls begin to close in around me . Russel is a great guy , Violet . She takes my hand across the table . My eyes well with tears . Why would he want to get married ? Because he loves you and youve been together for two years now . You guys are great together . And you told me because … Because I knew you would react like this and I wanted it to be to me and not him . He doesnt deserve to see your face fall . Sheer terror begins to run rampant through my body . I dont want to get married , Deb . Why not ? Her silhouette blurs and I get a lump in my throat , unable to articulate myself . Russel is a great guy , she tells me . I know he is . And you two have great chemistry , and the sex is great . And he loves you and hes great with the kids . Remember how incredible he was when Biddy died ? I put my head into my hands . The Perfect Husbands Secret 28.9 % apter 3 You should be jumping from the rooftops in excitement . The only reason I told you is because deep down , I knew you wouldnt be . How ? I ask . How did you know I wouldnt be excited ? She stares at me for a beat . I watch the two of you together and its obvious that his affection is greater than yours . His commitment to the relationship is stronger than yours . Hes one hundred percent all in , and youre … just not . I dont know what the hell is wrong with me , I whisper . Russel is my dream guy , everything about him is perfect . But … My voice trails off . Hes not him . This has nothing to do with Gabriel , I snap , annoyed . Doesnt it ? she snaps back . I think it does . I think youre still hopelessly in love with Gabriel Ferrara , and no man , no matter how perfect he is will ever live up to him . Thats complete bullshit . I havent thought of Gabriel in years . She squeezes my hand in hers . You need to learn to love whats good for you . Her silhouette blurs . Russel is good for you . She gives me a sad smile . He loves you . If you dont love him enough to marry him , you need to stop being selfish and let him go so that he can find someone else . The Perfect Husbands Secret 28.9 % apter screw up my face in tears . I dont want to lose him . Then dont . She smiles . Marry him , be happy . Because thats what you deserve . A man that worships the ground you walk on . The thought of marrying Russel rolls my stomach , in fact the thought of marrying anyone rolls my stomach . Please , Violet . Think on this , dont mess up a perfect relationship because youre scared . Im not scared , Deb , that isnt it . What is it , then ? The reality is … sadness fills me to say this out loud , … something is missing with Russ . Like what ? I dont know . If I knew , I would fix it . Gabriel I slide the king into place . Checkmate . Mark rolls his eyes . Beating you is becoming boring . I only play with you because you pay me to , he replies dryly . I chuckle and sip my scotch . Why are we playing chess on a Saturday night , anyway ? he asks . My eyes roam over to the wall of windows and the twinkling New York lights way down below . I dont know . I sip my scotch . Do you ever get the feeling that there is something * missing ? How so ? 3 29.0 % fo apter dont know , I have everything … and yet . If you want something more when you live the life you do , then the rest of us mere mortals are screwed , he replies . I sip my drink again as I drift into deep thought . Maybe I should get married . He shrugs . Ariana is … Perfect . I cut him off . We start a new game of chess as we both fall into our own thoughts . I always thought when I met the one , I would be chomping at the bit to make it legal , I say as I think out loud . Not sure if Ill ever get married , to be honest , Mark replies . I want children . You need children to pass all this crap down to . He gestures around my apartment . For the record , my eighty million dollar penthouse is not crap . He chuckles . But does it make you happy ? No. My eyes roam around the penthouse . Doesnt appear to . So are you going to marry Ariana ? No. Who are you going to marry then , if not her ? I dont know . Ariana is beautiful and adoring , Italian and everything I should want . Weve been together for over a year and I do love her . But youre not in love with her ? d apte Maybe Im incapable of it . Probably . He thinks for a moment . You owe me five hundred bucks . For what ? A Im not being your therapist for free , you know . What solution have you given me , you just told me Im incapable of love , I fire back . And since when did your price rise ? He chuckles . The truth is costly . Iwalk into my apartment just on six and see rose petals scattered up the hall . What the hell is this ? Ariana ? I call , confused . As I keep walking , more rose petals . Ariana ? I turn the corner and see a huge love heart on the floor made of rose petals with flickering candles and music and Ariana is on one knee . What … I love you . She smiles up at me . I know youre supposed to be the one to ask , but I cant wait any longer . Sweetheart … I just . Will you marry me , Gabriel ? she asks hopefully as she looks up at me . My heart sinks . The very last thing I want to do is hurt this beautiful woman . I love you so much , she whispers through tears . Make me the happiest woman alive and become my husband . And this is it , the moment where I have to choose what I know is good for me . I drop to my knees in front of her , torn between begging for forgiveness that she has to put up with me and the need to run as far away as I physically can . I softly kiss her lips . The Perfect Husbands Secret 29.2 % apter 2 Yes what ? Yes , Ill marry you . Seven years to the day after Violet left Ferrara Media . I glance up at the sign hanging over the door . ELEVEN MADISONPARK I push through the door and walk right on in . Good afternoon , Mr. Ferrara , your table is this way , sir . The waiter nods with a smile . Thank you . I follow him through the restaurant and see my brother Alessio sitting with my mother at her regular table by the window . She breaks into a broad smile as she sees me . I kiss her two cheeks . T Ciao , mio caro Gabriel . ( Hello , my darling Gabriel . ) She smiles . I pat my brother on the shoulder before sitting at the table . Alessio pours me a glass of wine and passes it over . Glad youre here , Mom can lecture you now . He raises his wineglass before taking a huge gulp . My eyes flick up to my mother . Che succede , mamma ? Qualcosa non va ? ( Whats wrong , Mama ? ) He canceled his date with Arabella . She scowls . Alessio looks over at me , deadpan , and I chuckle . If you like Arabella so much , you should date her yourself , he replies dryly . 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