"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby, awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess" -Lemony Snicket- *** Edgar's P.O.V "You are changing, Edgar." I had a brief meeting with the men in our own meeting room about the other Russian mafia organizations to determine which ones we should work with and which ones we should avoid, because in here, it's very important to know who you should take as your ally, and who is your enemy. But somehow, the conversation strayed from its original intention and somehow we end up talking about her. Phoebe. "What do you mean?" I give Ivan a stern look. The bruise on his face has now disappeared and I think he is still pissed because I hit him back then, but I couldn't resist the feeling of defending her when I saw her pretty little face getting small bruises. "Why did you hit me back then when I hit her, she deserves it, she was just a stranger, a prisoner with slightly better treatment, and you actually chose her over me, what the hell is wrong with you, Edgar Romanov?" "Watch your tongue, Ivan." Nikolai warns him as he shots a warning look before I do so. "I am not changing, stop talking nonsense." I tell him in a low, demanding tone. "You are getting too soft for your own sake dammit!" Ivan speaks half shouting and it makes me feel really pissed off, I seriously hope that I don't end up murdering him right now and I try to act reasonable and avoid any reckless behavior. "She is making you weak, Edgar, you should get rid of her right now before she causes worse things for us. Don't forget about your revenge Edgar, have you forgotten that?" I stand up from my chair and slam the wooden table causing it to break in half and this action has certainly startles everyone in the room. "Shut your mouth before I shut it for you!" I tell Ivan as I grab his collar and throw him to the ground once again. "Edgar, stop." Nikolai and Viktor tries to hold me back from doing anything worse while Matvey goes and help Ivan. "See, you do it again, it's that woman's fault. If you don't get rid of her I will get rid of her myself!" Ivan says burning a fire on my chest which raises my temper and I walk with temper to him, ready to shoot a few punches before the rest of my men hold me back physically. I swear, they just wouldn't let me hurt this bastard. "Edgar, he is our friend, don't be stupid!" Matvey defends as he tries to shield Ivan. Goddamit, I have never acted this way. *** Things has calmed down after a while and the men suggested that I don't see Ivan for a while and I hate having fights with any of my men because I have always been taught to treat them like a family by my father, but I guess it is indeed for the best. But his words have been bothering my mind. What if it's true? What if I am truly changing because of that woman, the beautiful French red head woman who has the softness and the fierceness mixed inside her. Wow, the thought is extremely terrifying and disturbing. I guess I should find out more about her, I should know where she is coming from. What her background is, her likes and dislikes, basically, everything about her I could possibly know. What makes her so special? I don't understand, and even though I prefer not to, my curiosity is killing me. "Nikolai, can you do me a favor?" I am currently sitting on my office with black coffee on my right hand. I prefer the bitter taste of black coffee than all kinds of sweet flavors. Sweets make me feel sick and it pisses me off for a reason. "What is it again?" He asks me as he sighs and makes his way to sit on the chair. "Can you find all kind of information you have about Phoebe?" "Edgar, are you serious about this?" "Have I ever been not serious about something?" "I mean, do you want to know her that much? What if she isn't the kind of person you can handle, you know that it's better to not know something most of the time." "Just do as I say" I say trying to not start any argument especially with him. Ivan was rude, but Nikolai is my closest man who I consider as my "best friend" and closest family member and I hate it if I ever get in any kind of fight with him. "Understood, I'll try to find anything I can find for you, just, don't act like earlier again, It wasn't Ivan's fault and you know it." He stands up to get out from the room, and at this point, I think my mind is about to explode from all of this newly found mixed emotions inside of me. I decide that it's better to get out from my office and try to take a walk around my mansion. I know it is so unlike me and my personality, but I actually really love taking a walk outside on my own house, because it makes me feel secure in a way. Laughable, don't you think? I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Why does all of these have to happen to me, this is so unlike me, to have a soft spot for someone, I am a broken man with no feelings, while her, she is too fragile for her own goodness, I hate her for making me feel this way. But I wonder, if she is changing me, whether it's for the worse, or the better? Suddenly I hear footsteps coming from behind me and when I turn around, I see Phoebe walking near me and when her eyes meet mine, she takes a step back and murmur a small "sorry" I Don't know why but I have a feeling that she is kind of scared of me in a way, well, that would be very reasonable, who wouldn't fear a man like me, after all? But for some reason, this isn't what I want from her, I do not wish for her to fear me in this way. To admit it, I did at first, but I guess I no longer want it to be this way. "No, you don't have to go." I tell her as I look straight into her eyes, leaving her feeling a bit confused. But then she braces herself to approach me and she stands around a few inches beside me, keeping a good distance between us. "When will you let me go?" She suddenly speaks out of nowhere, and the question seems simple, but why do I feel a little bit disappointed at it? "I don't think I can do that, you are a threat to us if we release you, because you already know a lot about us, it's risky." "I promise I won't tell anyone, please let me go, I want to go home." She pleads as tears begin to flow from her eyes as she speaks the last words. "Dammit, hey, don't cry!" I say half shouting at her because I hate it when I have to see anyone cries, because living here with the men, I have come to believe that crying is a sign of weakness. She makes it as if I was the one who made her cry, I hate this! "I can't stop crying." She blurts out as if the tears are out of her control. I swear women are so complicated. "Dammit, what should I do?" I cuss again, I seriously have no idea how to handle this kind of situation. Usually I don't get budged by women's tears, so why am I bothered by hers. "Argh, f*ck it!" I curse as I lean closer to being her into my embrace which seems to surprise her as well. "Don't cry." I try to say in a softer kind of tone. I don't know what gets into me, but this is very new to me as well, it's not that I have never touched any women, heck, I have slept with countless, but why do I feel like this embrace is something new for me? I think I am going crazy. "What are you doing, Edgar?" She asks with tears stuck on her throat, causing her voice to be shaky. "Shut up because I don't know as well." Right, exactly. I have no idea what the hell I am doing.