Chapter 1 11:18 - The doctors said I'd never really grow up that my mind would stay like a child's . But I knew my husband Joshua was the best person in the whole world . He'd ruffle my hair , call me his " silly girl , " and help me glue my crooked art projects . - Then he said he had to be a doctor far , far away in a war zone . He promised to video call on my birthday . I waited and waited . Then a man in uniform gave me Joshua's wet phone . " There was fighting ... He's a star now . " After he became a star , everyone called me a hero's wife . Every day I drew him a picture and " mailed " it with his favorite soda to the stars . Until one day I saw him . He was in the bakery across the street , feeding the biggest strawberry from my cake to my best friend . He didn't see me watching through the glass . He didn't know that in a simple world , the rules are simple too : A bad kid who steals strawberries ... must be locked away . 1 I was standing in front of the community mail lockers , clutching the drawing I'd made for Joshua . It was a picture of a big , sparkling star , holding a bottle of his favorite orange soda . The mailman , Mr. Henderson , didn't smile at me today . He just looked at me and sighed . " Tricia , " he said gently , " Dr. Cross was a hero . You need to take care of yourself , you hear ? " I nodded and pushed the drawing and the soda into locker # 27 . Click . The little metal door shut . This was my special place for talking to my star . I came here every single day . Joshua said he went somewhere far , far away , to become a star in the sky and watch over me . I believed him . On my way home , I passed by the bakery . The most beautiful strawberry tarts were lined up in the window , the red berries gleaming like tiny , perfect hearts . Joshua used to buy these for me all the time . He'd always save the biggest , reddest one , spear it with a fork , and lift it to my lips . 1/11 11:18 My silly girl deserves the sweetest things , he'd say . I decided to buy one , to mail to my star tomorrow . And then , a familiar shape reflected in the glass . I saw him . Joshua . He was back . He hadn't become a star at all . He was sitting right there , at a table by the window . And across from him was my best friend , Vivian . Joshua was smiling . His smile was just as handsome as I remembered . He took the little silver fork and carefully lifted the biggest , reddest strawberry from the cake . I froze , watching through the glass . Time seemed to stop . He moved the fork slowly , gently ... and fed the strawberry right into Vivian's mouth . Vivian's eyes crinkled into happy little crescents , just like the moon . I knew that gesture . That strawberry was supposed to be mine . The bottle of orange soda slipped from my fingers . Pop . It rolled a few times on the pavement and came to rest by my feet . Fizz bubbled out across the concrete , like the tears I couldn't cry . But I wasn't crying . My world had gone completely silent . Me , on the outside of the glass . Them , on the inside . A new world , and an old one . The only thing I could see was that stolen strawberry . It was so red . Red like blood . A thought started to grow in my mind , very , very slowly . Joshua wasn't a star . He was a thief . He stole my strawberry . I turned away from the bakery . The little bell on the door didn't jingle for me . I walked slowly , my feet steppi- ng on my own long shadow . The sun was setting . The streetlights flickered on , stretching my shadow until it was long and thin . I looked down at it . It looked 2/11 11.18 1118 Chapter 1 back at me . Neither of us said a word . The walk home felt so much longer today . I passed the house of the man in the uniform who told me Joshua was a star . The lights were on inside . I could hear laughter . Liars . You're all liars . I got home and opened the door . The apartment was dark and quiet . I didn't turn on the lights . I like the dark . The dark is simple . You can't see lies in the dark . A photo of Joshua and me hung on the wall . He was holding me , smiling like the sun . I walked over to it and reached out , tracing the outline of his face . It was cold . I guess he'd always been cold . I went to my room . My bed was covered in stuffed animals . Joshua said they would keep me company while he was away . I picked up the biggest one , a floppy - eared rabbit with black , glassy eyes . I whispered to the rabbit , " Joshua is a thief . " The rabbit said nothing . " He stole my strawberry . " The rabbit still said nothing . " He and Vivian ... they're bad kids . " I set the rabbit aside and opened my sketchbook . The last page was the star I drew today . I stared at it for a long , long time . Then , I took a red crayon and drew a cross over it . A big , angry , red X. The old rules weren't fun anymore . Stars could fall from the sky . Heroes could be thieves . This game needed a new way to play . I flipped to a fresh page . With a black marker , I wrote the first new rule . A bad kid who steals something has to give it back . I looked at the words , but it didn't feel like enough . I thought for a moment , then added a second line benea- th it . If they don't , they have to be locked away . I closed the book and tucked it under my pillow . 3/11 11:18 Chapter 1 My world needed new rules . And I was going to be the one to make them .