Chapter 10: Bouquet Before entering our unit, I paused for a moment and allowed myself to calm down. I don't want Hughie to know that I met Mew. I have no plans in meeting him again so it's best to keep it from Hughie. I am a liar if I deny that I am still affected by Mew. Truth is, I am still very much affected. All the pain have resurfaced. But above all, I feel like I missed him. There is a part of me that wants to go back to the elevator and talk to him. What the hell, Gulf? You miss him? With my three years of staying here in Spain, I thought that I have moved on. I thought that I am not affected anymore. But I was wrong. I just stood outside the door for like ten minutes trying to let my stupid racing heart calm down. I entered when I felt okay. "Why are you sweating?" Hughie's question startled me. I did not know that I was sweating. This is your fault, Mew! Hughie was in the living room watching La Casa de Papel. "What? Uhm, it's just h-hot outside." I pretended to fan myself using my hands. Shit. I can't believe I stuttered. He directed his focus back on the TV screen. "What will you cook?" His attention did not leave the screen. "Your favorite adobo. But would you like something in particular?" I walked past him and went to the kitchen to start preparing. "Adobo is fine!" he shouted from the living room. I convinced myself to forget about my interaction with Mew. I noticed how he somehow gained height. And his face also matured. It was also noticeable how his body built became bigger. In short, he became more attractive. Your stupid, Gulf. What are you thinking? I shook my head to erase my thoughts. You have moved on Gulf, okay? But I failed again. Mew just keeps running inside my head. His sad and longing eyes. He only said three words but the desperation was very much evident. But no, Mew. I'm done with you. We're done. We have nothing to talk about. Whatever it is that you want to say, I don't care. Everything that happened during our honeymoon resurfaced inside my head. I laughed at myself. I was so stupid back then. And so pitiful. I let him flirt with others? And I just accepted him with arms wide open? Never again! Because of my frustration, I pretended that Mew was the meat I was slicing. "I stayed away from you just so I can have a peaceful life. Now you'll appear out of nowhere and mess with my life?" I told the meat. Poor meat. "Who are you talking to?" I almost jumped when Hughie spoke all of a sudden. I did not notice that he was now in front of me. "W-what? No one." I smiled at him. "Hmm. Okay." He shrugged his shoulders. He then proceeded to my back and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I love you," he whispered to my ear. He kissed my cheek and placed his chin on my shoulders afterwards. I wasn't able to answer him immediately. Before, I would not have a hard time answering him back with an 'I love you'. But now, it was as if the words do not want to come out of my mouth because of what just happened tonight. "I l-love you too." Good thing I was able to say it. My conscience started to bother me. What is wrong with you, Gulf? In the past, you were only with Mew for a few weeks. But you're thinking about him? Hughie was with you for three years! I turned to face Hughie and kissed him deeply. Hughie deserves all my attention. He took care of me during the times when I was hurting because of Mew. Hughie supported me in all the things I wanted to do. He never hurt me, even once. So I can't hurt him. I just can't. After that long kiss, I resumed cooking. --- I can tell that Hughie liked my food very much. "This is like the second best thing I've eaten," he commented as we ate. I frowned. "What's the first best thing then?" "You." After saying that, he winked and smiled at me. He's so cute. My face brightened as I threw him a tissue paper. "Shut up." Those were the only words I managed to say because the butterflies in my stomach have come to life. He raised his eyebrows and gave me a playful smile. "Hey, you're blushing. HAHAHA." "Just hurry eating because I have an event early tomorrow," I tried to change the topic. "If you say so." He smiled. "What is your event tomorrow?" He held his glass of orange juice and consumed half of it. He put down his spoon and fork. He's done eating. "I have a photo shoot for the jewelry line in the morning and a fashion show for a big brand in the evening. Will you be able to attend?" I asked, hopeful. Hughie would sometimes attend my events if he's not busy with work at the department store. Our relationship is a secret. Now that I am a big personality here in Spain, many people are watching me. And because of that, news that I am already married in the Philippines once became the headlines in the modeling industry. I have also been interviewed about the issue and I did not deny it. But I explained to them that my husband and I decided to separate, and even if not legally separated yet, we talked about it in good terms. Even if they were all lies. "I can't come with you tomorrow. I might be busy in the office," Hughie said sadly. I reached for his hand that was on top of the table. "It's okay. We can go to the after party together instead." "Okay. Let's do that then." He moved his head towards me and stole a quick kiss. I was living a happy life. But why did Mew have to come into the scene? What is he really doing here? I just wish that he stops bothering me because we no longer have anything to talk about. I hope he returns to Philippines soon. --- My photoshoot earlier did not go well. Or at least I thought. I've been feeling nervous ever since breakfast that even in the shoot I couldn't concentrate. And there was only one reason behind it. I am bothered and I feel nervous. I am bothered because Mew might show up knowing that he is still in Barcelona. And knowing him, there is a big possibility that he might show up in my photoshoot. I couldn't concentrate. I was lucky the photographer and director didn't notice. While having the shoot, I consistently scanned the people in the room, afraid that he might be there. This is all Mew's fault. Good thing that I was able to finish the event. I am just not sure if my performance was satisying and if there are decent photos. After my morning event, I went back to our condominium unit to take a rest. I left at five o'clock and proceeded to my second and last event for the day. My make-up artist started dressing me at six o'clock. While Kuya Dominic was applying my make-up, a male model approached me. "Hey Gulf. Can I get your number?" he asked shyly. He's Spanish. "No." I raised an eyebrow. He scratched his head as he walked away from us and towards his model friends. They laughed when he joined them. "Told you that he won't give it," another male model that I also rejected spoke. He once asked me for my number while we were practicing for this event. Kuya Dominic, my make-up artist laughed. Ever since I started modeling, he has always been my personal assistant and make-up artist. He was there when I was just starting and when I was a nobody. That is why even if some events provide make-up artists to the models, I would always want him to do it. "What?" I glared at him. He's five years older than me but we're super close. He won't find it disrespectful and won't get offended. "Por favor, just tell them that you already have a boyfriend so they can all stop bothering you." He continued to laugh. "Tell them that Hugo is your boyfriend." "Tss. Hughie and I are fine. We don't need to tell everyone that we're together." I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I can't believe that I let myself look stupid in the past. Tsk tsk. Hughie made me see my worth. He took care of me. He made me feel so special. That is why I promised myself that I won't hurt him. Stop thinking about Mew, Gulf. You and him were over a long time ago. "Whatever." He continued doing my make-up. For tonight, I will have three exposures and three outfits were prepared for me. I will be the very first one to walk the runway. I also have an exposure at the middle of the show. And the third one is for the finale where I will be joined by two other models and the main designer. I don't know why but the nervousness I've been feeling since morning came back. I don't know why my heart is racing again. I am now at the backstage and preparing myself to grace the fashion show. But I am professional. Never once did I fail in any of my past projects. That is the reason why many clients like me and my work. I always make sure to do everything perfectly. No doubt that they always want to work with me again and would sometimes recommend me to their business partners. Just deep breaths, Gulf. You can do this. I admit that in my first projects, I always get nervous. But I never failed. After a year, I became an expert at this. I don't know why I am feeling nervous this time. I'm just being paranoid. This is all Mew's fault, really. Before I went out to grace the runway, my eyes scanned the audience. Yes. I was looking for Mew. I just hope that he's not really here so I would feel unbothered. I saw many actors and popular celebrities in the crowd. There were also a few international personalities. But I couldn't find Mew. What a relief! That is why I was able to successfully carry out with my first exposure. That is why I was able to successfully carry out with my first exposure "Well done, Gulf "Well done, Gulf. What a way to start the show!" the organizer complimented me. "Thank you," I said shyly. After that, I proceeded back to the dressing room and changed for my second outfit. "Why are you sweating? Is it hot for you in here?" Kuya Dominic asked. "No. No. Just nervous." I faked a smile. "Okay. But you're being weird. You're not usually like this." He noticed. What is wrong with me? Get your shit together, Gulf. Before my second exposure, I scanned the venue again, looking for Mew. I almost cursed out loud when I saw him seated at the end of the runway wearing a suit. Fuck! What is he doing here? "Gulf, it's your turn." My stomach wanted to back out. I can't go out in there. "Gulf, it's your cue," the floor manager repeated. I swallowed the lump on my throat before finally having the courage to go out and reveal myself. My knees felt weak as my heart started to beat faster. Shit. Shit. Shit. I have never felt this nervous before! I can't focus on my steps and it feels like I'm floating on the air. I convinced myself to do my work properly. We are supposed to maintain a straight look while walking. But when I reached the end of the ramp, I couldn't stop myself. I looked at Mew. His face was serious as his whole attention was directed to me. My knees wobbled because of his stares. I don't know why I am still this affected. Shame on you, Mew! I am lucky that I was able to finish my second exposure without tripping. It was a miracle because I felt my knees to be super weak and my throat became very dry. I drank water when I arrived backstage. "What is wrong with you, Gulf?" Kuya Dominic asked with a worried voice. I did not answer him and just focused on my breathing. My heartbeat is still very fast. Three years. We did not see each other for three years. My life was already fine. Everything was already fine. Why is he here? I did not want to go out to the runway again but I had no choice. My image and reputation will be tainted. That is why I really couldn't feel myself during my last exposure with the main designer. Mew's eyes are directed only at me. As if he couldn't see anyone else. I convinced myself so hard to stop thinking about him. But just like before, I failed miserably. The show ended and I'm already irritated. This was so embarrassing! Fuck! When I returned to the dressing room, the gifts and flowers from the fans and supporters were already there. The whole backstage was busy. But the organizers and designers approached me and congratulated me. "Thank you so much, Gulf. You did so well, as expected!" said the main designer who was so happy with my performance. "Thank you. I always try to do my best. That's why," I said shyly. "See you at the after party. And oh by the way, all the clothes that you wore are already sold. You were so exceptional!" "Really? That's great news. Congratulations!" I greeted him, because after all, they were his designs. "Thank you. It was all because of your superb talent. You nailed it out there!" "Thank you. Thank you." "Oh, there he is! The buyer of the clothes you wore! And he brought flowers!" the designer giggled. I glanced towards the door to which he pointed. I almost cursed out loud when I saw who it was. With a big bouquet of sunflowers on his hands, Mew was standing by the door. Fuck shit!