Chapter 28 Once Penn and Fisher head out, I immediately turn to walk down the hallway towards my room. I can hear the pad of Noah's feet, just a few paces behind me. Stopping when I reach my door, I turn and find Noah standing across from me. His muscled arm is reaching up and resting on his door frame, accentuating the bulging muscles along his arm and making him look edible. His eyes sear into mine. "Hi," Noah says softly, his tone totally counteracting the look in his eyes. "Hi," I whisper back, the word catching in my throat. We stand there for a moment, staring at each other, my heart drumming against my ribcage, and before I lose my nerve, or overthink it, I push open my bedroom door and nod my head towards it. "Want to come in?" His expression turns molten. "I do." Noah glances down the hallway-likely to check that Penn and Fisher have definitely made themselves scarce-before he crosses into my room in two long strides. My heart picks up even more speed as I step back to make space for him to come in, and he shuts the door behind him. He's inside my bedroom. "I thought they'd never leave," he says with a smile as his gaze drops to my mouth. I'm suddenly so nervous, so full of adrenaline from the wait and want from all of his teasing, that I rise up on my tiptoes and silence anything else he was about to say by crushing my lips to his. A half-agonized sound rips from his throat, and he wastes no time in responding, his hands moving to cup my face as his body presses against mine. He steps forward, backing me into the door. As my back hits the hard surface, the light stubble on Noah's jaw scrapes over the sensitive skin of my mouth and chin, sending shockwaves through me as he tilts his head and opens his mouth over mine, his tongue moving over my bottom lip before dipping into my mouth to taste me. My hands scramble for purchase on his shoulders, tightening there as I hold on to him for dear life, all of my nerves melting as I dissolve into a puddle of desire, all coherent thought disappearing at his touch. "Ally," Noah hisses against my mouth between kisses, fingertips sliding further back on my jawline and then digging into my hair. "Do you know how many times I've thought about doing this?" His lips move to kiss the sensitive skin where my jawbone meets my neck before he gently drags his mouth along the column of my neck, lightly grazing it with his teeth in a way that makes my entire body erupt in shivers before he presses a hot, openmouthed kiss to my collarbone. "Do you know how many times I've dreamed about doing this? Fantasized about what you tasted like, what sounds you'd make when I kissed you?" In response, I moan again, my hands weaving into his hair, twisting there as I attempt to drag his head back down so his lips can claim mine again. He smiles, brushing his lips over mine, featherlight. "You want me to kiss you again?" I nod, unable to speak, and he delivers, his hands sliding under my thighs to lift me up so I'm in his arms as he kisses me again until my head spins. He tastes like his peppermint gum, his mouth cool and his lips warm and the smell of his sandalwood cologne tantalizing my nose as I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me across the room to my bed. But instead of laying me down and crawling on top of me, he sits on the edge, setting me down gently in his lap and wrapping his arms around me almost protectively. "I can hardly believe this is actually happening right now," he says in a low, raspy voice as he presses his lips to mine. Softer this time, sweeter. His fingers curl into the material of his jersey, twisting at my sides. "Do you know how crazy you were making me all night, sitting there next to me wearing these little pink shorts?" His voice wavers a little as he pulls back, gentle brown eyes finding mine. "You're so damn beautiful, Ally," he whispers, and with those five little words and his steady, loving, yet heated gaze, my entire world feels like it's about to fall apart. Before that awful night, Tyler used to look at me in a way that made me feel sexy. Hot. The night he assaulted me, put his hands on me without my consent, his blue eyes were cold as ice. Unfeeling and devoid of any emotion but utter disgust. Like he wanted me, but I was nothing. Worthless. But right now, in the midst of his want and desire for me, Noah is looking up at me in a way that makes me feel like I'm the center of his entire universe, something precious to be cherished and loved and cared for. And it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He leans in to kiss me again, and as I respond, I feel hot tears dripping down my cheeks before I even realize I'm crying. Noah pulls back, and when he sees my tears, his needy, heated expression immediately turns to one of panic. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" I don't have a chance to respond before he removes me from his lap in one swift motion, placing me on the bed next to him oh-so-carefully, giving me some space. Noah's hands reach for my arms, gently smoothing down the length of them as his tone turns urgent. "Was I going too fast or something?" He blinks a few times. "Shit. There's no rush or pressure to do anything at all, you know that right? We can take our time. We don't need to do anything tonight, or ever, if that's what you want. It's always about what you want, and I promise I wasn't-I would never-expect anything from you or⁠-" "You did nothing wrong," I cut off his blabbering with a hiccup, swiping away my tears in embarrassment. This was meant to be my moment, my redemption arc as I reclaimed my sexuality, owned my own desires again-and instead, I end up blubbering like a baby because a boy called me beautiful and looked at me like I was something precious. I hang my head, my voice barely above a whisper as I add, "You were perfect." Noah's brows crease together. "Then why are you crying, Ally?" The concern in his voice has my insides unraveling, pulling at a string of misery and shame and self-loathing. Because I know I have to tell him. I thought I could pretend. But I like and respect Noah too much to use him as some kind of sexual guinea pig or whatever. And as much as I don't want to utter a word of what I'm about to say aloud, I know it's the right thing to do. "This is the first time I've been physical, in any way, with someone in months," I start hesitantly, my eyes searching his face for a reaction as I speak. He bites his lip. "Me too," he admits. "I haven't been with anyone in a while, actually-I've been focused on hockey. In college, whenever I was with anyone, there were no feelings involved. Not like... It was never like this. I have feelings for you. I care for you, Ally." My brain is roaring, swirling like the ocean with crashing waves of conflicting feelings: Jealousy, at the thought of Noah even touching another girl, even without feelings involved. Elation, at him feeling about me exactly how I feel about him. And terror, in case any of what I'm about to say changes his mind about those feelings. "I...I...something happened to me," I say in a rush. "At a party last semester at USG." His face slackens, and I feel that disgusting shame course through me as Noah stares at me, wordless, for a few moments that seem to stretch into an eternity, before he screws his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. "What happened?" He asks evenly, his voice cracking over the words like it's taking everything in his power to stay composed. "I was at a party off campus with a guy-my dance partner at the time, actually." I ball my fists, digging my fingernails into my palms. "He told me he'd broken up with his girlfriend. That he'd done it because he liked me. He was into me. And I...I liked him a lot. So I believed him. We went upstairs and started kissing-" I force my voice to stay steady "-and then he wouldn't stop. The party was at Fisher's house. He heard me pleading with the guy to stop, came in and pulled him off me." The words taste bitter in my mouth. "He got there at the right time. Nothing too bad happened, thanks to him. It's kind of how I know Fisher, how we became friends. He was there for me when I needed someone to turn to. He's the only person who knows what happened that night." I look at Noah. "Until now." "What the hell," Noah says, more to himself than to me it seems. His expression is livid. "Did you call the cops? Get the guy arrested?" I hang my head. "For what?" I ask softly, biting the inside of my cheek as I add, "It was partially my fault." "Stop." Noah's word is quiet, yet forceful. Commanding. He puts his fingers under my chin and tilts my head so I'm looking at him. "Let's get one thing straight, right here, right now, Ally. This was not your fault. In any way." "I swear I thought he just wanted to get away from the noise of the party so we could kiss and talk in private, but the fact is, I willingly went upstairs with him. Willingly kissed him." "But he didn't stop when you asked him to," Noah says, his voice barely a knife's edge above a whisper. "No." Noah swallows, the motion appearing painful for him. "And if Fisher hadn't intervened when he did, do you think this guy would have forced himself on you?" he spits out, like he can barely stand to entertain the possibility. Flashes of icy eyes resurge in my mind. Of hot hands fumbling at the button on my jeans, of disgusting things being hissed in my ear as I cried and tried to push him off me. Bile collects in my throat as I look down at my wrists, remembering the rings of purple bruises that dotted them in the days after. "Yes, I think he would have," I admit-the first time I've spoken this aloud, admitted it to myself or to anyone else. Noah's eyes flash, but his voice is so kind I want to cry. "Then you need to hear me when I say that this was, and is, in no way your fault. In the least. Period." I nod slowly, letting his words wash over me. Sink into my skin and my soul. "Thank you, Noah." My whole body relaxes as what I already knew as head knowledge also becomes heart knowledge. "I...think I needed to hear that." "Wait...is this why you stopped dancing?" He asks suddenly, horror crossing his features. I nod. "I tried to keep it going. I really did. Carried on practicing all summer. But then, this semester, the rumors started, saying I was a slut and two-faced. Turns out he never broke up with his girlfriend, but he had been planning to cheat on her-with me. He told his girlfriend that I shamelessly threw myself at him that night and tried to drunkenly seduce him. Then she told everyone that story, my friends included. I'd lost all credibility, so I didn't argue. Didn't bother trying to tell the truth. It was his word against mine, and they all clearly already believed the narrative they'd heard." A sob catches in my throat. "And I tried to be okay with that, with being outcast from all of my friends and social groups, labeled a bitch and a whore. I could live with that, because even though it was hard, I knew the truth about what happened that night. But then he transferred into another one of my dance classes a few weeks later and requested to be my partner again, and the teacher agreed to pair us together...and I couldn't bear the look in his eyes, like he was holding something over me. I couldn't stand to have him touch me, even in a professional dance setting. So I ran. Dropped out and got as far away from it all as I could. Which might have been impulsive, but I couldn't take it anymore." "What he did to you is despicable," Noah seethes quietly. "Reprehensible. And you are not to blame for any of it." And with that, he puts his arms around me and oh-so-gently pulls me towards him. I slump into his chest, suddenly exhausted and eager to just be held by him. My tears stain his shirt, but he keeps me close, nuzzling his nose into the top of my hair as he whispers, "I promise I'll never do anything to hurt you." He pauses. "No, I swear it. You're safe with me, always." "I believe you," I reply, my hands tightening around him. Noah pulls away from our embrace and reaches out to stroke my face in the most tender, intimate motion I've ever experienced. And then, he peels back the covers of my bed and tucks me in, kissing me on the forehead as he does so. "Don't go," I find myself whispering. He nods. "Okay, I won't." And then Noah Downsby slips into bed behind me, pulling my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around me. He holds me like that, tight and covered and protected, as I drift off into a dreamless sleep, safe in his arms. Discover our latest featured short drama reel. Watch now and enjoy the story!