Chapter 28 "Not too bad, Adler. Not too bad," I say, turning a full circle between my living room and kitchen. It took me a while this morning to get up and moving. My body is sore everywhere from the game yesterday, a barn burner against our division rivals. Ridge came through for us in the end and led us to a win, but we're all paying the price for the physicality of the match today. That has not, however, stopped Nico and Ridge from blowing up the group chat. It's so obnoxious that even I've had enough. I left it last night but had been added back by the time I woke up this morning. Fools. I gather the wad of charging cords off the kitchen island and tuck them into a drawer. It's not exactly as organized as Astrid would have it, but at least they're out of sight. If I leave them out, or have anything out of place, she'll stress about it when she gets here and start trying to fix it-and that's not why she's here. She's here to relax with me. Just thinking about her is like taking a shot of happiness, which is funny considering she was so not happy when I met her. But now that I've gotten to know her better, I can't hear her name without smiling. She's a powerhouse, capable of anything, and I'm in awe of the things she can manage and accomplish in one day. I could never come close. But, somehow, she lets me get close to her. "Astrid, what are we doing?" I run a hand over my head as the rhythm of my heart changes. It beats harder and faster, each pulse both a warning and a wish. I don't know which is a bigger problem. There's no way of knowing where this thing with Astrid will go. Hell, I'm not even sure how she feels about me. But the more time we spend together, the more I know I want this to go somewhere, and the fewer fucks I give about how fast this is going. There isn't a scenario I can conjure up where she doesn't fit into my life. It feels like she's supposed to be in my arms, business deals, and hometown. It's terrifying. But it's also right. And if that's true, whether it be now or later, I must be prepared in every way to be the man she deserves. No matter how much it hurts. Knock! Knock! "Come in," I say, my voice raspy as I face the door. Astrid steps through the threshold, rewarding me with a big, bright smile as she swings the door shut behind her. "How was your morning?" I ask, wrapping her up in my arms. She nuzzles her face against my chest and sags against me. "Did you check out the venue?" She nods, making no effort to pull away. So I stand in place and hold her until she's damn good and ready. "It was perfect." She kisses my chest and then leans back. "Renn wanted to find the perfect place for Blakely's birthday party, and I found it today. It's beautiful and intimate but can fit all the people he wants to invite. I think. I hope." She winces. "It's perfect. I have to stop overthinking it." "Well, you look beautiful even if you are an overthinker." She smiles. "How do you feel today? What can I do for you? How can I help?" "You can come to the couch and watch a movie with me." "I don't see how that's going to help you," she says skeptically. "How about this. How can I help you today?" Her hands go to her hips. "I'm your assistant. It's my job to help you." I chuckle, knowing it won't do a damn bit of good to argue with her-not when she has this look in her eye. But I try, anyway. "You realize that every time we're together doesn't mean we're working, right?" I ask, taking her hand and leading her into the living room. "I didn't ask you to come here as my coworker. I mean, if you want to dress in a secretary's skirt or nurse's outfit, then that's a different story. That I'll accept." Astrid smacks me, laughing, as I sit and pull her down onto my lap. She shifts around, getting comfortable against my chest. Her ass grinds on my cock but I don't think it's intentional. It doesn't stop it from getting hard, though. "Your game went well yesterday, right?" she asks, holding our laced fingers in the air. "Look at this. You have so many bruises." "Comes with the territory." "Do you ever worry that you'll be permanently damaged?" I take a deep breath. "No. Not really. Rugby is relatively safe." "In my professional opinion, I disagree." Laughing, I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. "Your professional opinion, huh?" "When you add the number of years I worked for Renn and now you, I've been in this industry for a long damn time. I think I qualify as a pro, thank you very much." "Whatever you say, sweetheart." She giggles. "I'll pretend you meant that as a term of endearment, so I don't have to kick your ass." Good. Because that's how I meant it. We sit together in the quiet, her head laying between my collar and jaw, and our fingers tangling lazily like neither of us wants to hold on tight or let go. As I watch our fingers move, I realize it's a metaphor for the two of us. We aren't really together. But we aren't exactly single, either. And maybe it doesn't matter what our official status is because it doesn't change anything for me. I'm riding this fucker out to see where it goes. We may not have known each other that long, but I've lost too many years to being unhappy. And this? This is motherfucking happiness. Astrid drops her hand from mine and lets it fall to the couch. I watch it drift to the cushion and feel my heart go right along with it. Then it hits me. If I have any chance of holding her hand, I have to make sure mine is empty first. There's no way around it. "I got a letter from Joe today," she says. "Well, it was a copy of the one that he sent to the landlord's attorney." "Oh, yeah? What did it say?" "Well, I can't read legalese, but I think it said fuck around and find out." I laugh, my chest shaking. "Yeah, that sounds like a Joe letter." "I pray to God that I never get one. I'd pee my pants." She leans her head up and looks toward the kitchen. "Your phone has been buzzing since I got here. Do you hear it or am I hearing things?" "It's the fucking team chat," I say, sitting up, too, and groaning. "The last time I looked, they-meaning Nico and Ridge-were trying to put together the top fifty sports movies of all time. And you'd think they were arguing about something that fucking matters because these assholes take it to the next level." She shakes her head, amused. Then climbs off the couch and sets up my chessboard. Each piece gives a soft thud as it takes its square. There's a cadence to it, like a heartbeat, that adds to the peace in the room around us. "What are you thinking?" she asks. I rest my elbows on my knees. "I was thinking about how I could get used to this. I'm not saying anything crazy, just that I enjoy having you here. Playing chess with you. Going out to eat." I pause, smirking. "Fucking." She laughs, scooting to the other side of the coffee table. "I'm glad you added that on the end because I was starting to think you didn't want me anymore." "Impossible." Her gaze flickers to the ground before she looks at me through her thick lashes. The vulnerability in them slices through my heart. "I could get used to this, too, you know." The air around us crackles as neither of us say a word. Instead of speaking, we sit with our admissions, searching each other's gaze. There's a slight nervousness in her eyes, but I can't blame her for that. This scares the shit out of me, too. "Chess?" she asks. "Sure." "Good. I was afraid you'd chicken out since I beat you last time." "Oh, really?" I make a face, mocking her. "That's not how I remember it." "Of course, you don't. No one likes to remember getting whipped." She hops up on her knees, her arms pressing her big tits together. Thanks to her low-cut top, I have a clear view of her cleavage, and it sends a shot of energy straight to my cock. "Want to make a wager?" I ask, wiggling my brows. She snorts. "Careful, buddy. You're going to lose." "Strip chess. You lose a chess piece, then you lose an article of clothing. First one of us to disrobe gives the other oral." "I don't know if I want to win or lose," she says, laughing. "This is a terrible game." "Well, I guess that's the good part of our wager. We both win no matter how it ends." She licks her lips, her eyes heated. "Losers first." I study the board, trying to remember how she played last time. Nothing comes to mind other than what she's going to look like riding my cock in a few minutes. I grimace, adjusting myself and then moving out a knight. Fuck it. Astrid immediately pushes a pawn forward. I move mine so it's face-to-face with hers. "Interesting choice," she says, moving her knight to protect her pawn. "I like to keep things fun." I use my bishop to attack her knight. "Your move." She takes a moment to interpret the board, ultimately deciding not to address my move. Instead, she mirrors my position and moves her bishop. "Ah," I say, taking her knight with gusto. "Lose the shirt, sweetheart." She peels the fabric away from her body and over her head, leaving her tits overflowing in a black bra that's so sheer that I can make out her peaked nipples and dark areolas. Motherfucker. I suck in a breath, catching her shirt as she tosses it my way. My blood is so hot that it singes my veins. All I can think about is getting my mouth on her and burying myself into her little body. "Lose the shirt, Adler." She takes my bishop with an outside pawn, snapping it off the board and humming as I toss my shirt on the floor. "Good lord. There should be a rule that you aren't allowed to wear a shirt when we're alone." "I'd prefer you naked when we're alone, so arrangements can be made." "We might be able to work out a deal." I move a pawn to attack her bishop, but I see my mistake as soon as my hand is off the piece. "Pants," she says, taking my knight with her bishop. "Get them off." I slide my shorts down my legs and kick them near my shirt. My cock springs free, already hard and swollen in anticipation of her tight pussy. I fist myself at the base, jacking myself from root to tip while watching her eyes widen. "Damn," she says, sucking in a breath. "You could charge for that." "For what?" I ask, laughing. "Just to watch you jack yourself off. Remember, I did a lot of research into alternative ways to make money. You can make bank if you have a big cock and some time on your hands. Or said big cock in your hands." This woman. "I guess that's a viable income stream once I retire from rugby." "Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that. I'm afraid I'd see someone make a comment on a thread somewhere online and I'd have to fight them." She shrugs helplessly. "Can't help it. I am who I am." "I'm honored that you'd fight someone over me." She winks. "I didn't say over you. I said over your cock." "Thanks for the clarification," I say, shaking my head. Glancing down at the board, I see my next move. "Your bra is mine," I say, taking her bishop with a middle pawn. "Oh, no. How terrible," she says in faux horror. "What will I ever do?" She stands slowly, her eyes glued to mine, and removes the thin piece of fabric stretched across her chest. What little support the bra gave her is now gone and her teardropped-shaped tits hang perfectly. She's a sight to behold, the sexiest woman I've ever seen. "How invested are you in this game?" I ask her, pulling a condom from the pocket of my shorts. "Depends on my other options. Do you want to go for a jog? I'll play chess." She smirks as I rip the condom wrapper open. "Want me to ride you?" She takes her hands and levels the rest of the chess pieces, and the sound echoes through the apartment. "Game over." Thank God. I roll the rubber over myself, wishing I had the self-restraint to wait. But I don't. I need to be inside her now. She slips her shorts and panties over her hips, then steps out of them. "I'm literally soaked. My thighs are sticking together." "Get over here." She steps over her garments and straddles me on the couch. I slip my fingers between us, coating my hand with her arousal. "Damn," I hiss, so hard I think I might explode. Her gaze is hungry as she hovers over my tip. Her breasts are in my face, close enough for me to suck. That earns me a sweet, wanton moan as she slides herself onto my cock, burying me to the hilt. "I need a second," she says, swallowing hard. Her lashes flutter as she sucks in a breath and moans again. My thighs flex, shaking at the intensity of her pussy wrapped around me. She's so tight that I'm barely able to breathe. So beautiful that I can't think. So flawless that ... I'm fucked. "You're a dream, Astrid," I whisper, running my palms over her tits. "Every piece of you is perfect." Her muscles tighten and her pussy constricts even more. I growl, lowering my hands to her hips and urging her to move. Slowly, like she's trying to torture me, she begins to rock her hips against mine. "This is my favorite," she says softly. "Do you want to know why?" "Why?" "Because I like watching you fall apart. I love knowing that I have the power to make you feel like this." Her gaze is wide and clear, her honesty pure and vulnerable. How did I ever think this woman was only a shrew? The weekend, siding with me rather than falling for Brooks's charm. The way she looked at me at the ranch ... as if she had always been a part of it. Her easy banter with Hart. Cathy's whispered words as we left. "She's it, Gray. Your mama and daddy would've loved her. Don't let her go, my boy." Cathy is right. She's it. I'm just not sure what I did to deserve her. I press kisses over her chest, shoulder, and run them along her jaw. Holding her face in my hands, I take her mouth in mine. We kiss slowly, deliberately, each movement, every flick of our tongues bringing us closer to our climax ... but closer together, too. She pulls back, grinding harder on my cock. The tempo increases. It's urgent. Needy. Desperate. Her hands find my shoulders and her nails dig into them, clutching on to me as she bounces on my dick. Her tits jiggle in my face, while her ass cheeks jiggle in my hands. Astrid rolls her hips, lifting and then crashing down in a smooth, quick succession that drives me wild. "You are so fucking sexy," I say, meeting her thrust for thrust. "I can't take it much longer. I'm so close," she says, gasping for air. Her motions come faster. "I'm going to come." I grit my teeth, holding back as long as I can. Her pussy grips my cock as the muscles begin to spasm around it. "Look at me when you come. Eyes on me." She squeals again, this time the sound ending in a moan. Her gaze finds mine just before she falls apart. "Fuck!" she shouts. I groan, my body shaking as it gives in and releases its load. My teeth grind together, the vein in my temple pulses ... I can barely hold myself together. My hands find her hips again and I guide her back and forth. "Don't stop yet. Fuuuuuck." Astrid trembles as she milks the rest of her orgasm on my dick, and I shiver violently as the last waves of mine crash through me. I blow out a breath as she collapses onto my shoulder, her breaths heaving right alongside mine. I wrap my arms around her and drop my head into the crook of her neck, feeling things in places that have been dead for a long time. "That was so good," she says, giggling. "But I need to get up and use the bathroom." "That wasn't good," I say, helping her off me. "That was amazing." She beams, laughing again as she makes a quick escape to the bathroom. I sigh, leaning back on the couch for a moment and letting myself regroup. But as my gaze sweeps the apartment, it settles on the bag I brought home from Hartley's-and the envelope tucked into the front pocket. I know what I have to do ... and that I have to do it now. "She's it, Gray. Your mama and daddy would've loved her. Don't let her go, by boy." "I won't, Cathy," I whisper. "I won't." What I have to do first is not for me and Caroline. It's for me and Astrid.