Luther From my spot, hidden in the water beside the bank, I watch the Coast Guard give up their search, and haul myself out of the water. Pain shoots through my arm, blood mingling with water as I stagger towards the remains of the castle. I’m shivering. My core temperature is falling at a rapid rate. I need to get warm, and the fires should do it, but I need to stop the bleeding first. A few more minutes and I won’t be able to act on what I saw a split second before the bomb went off and sent me into the water. Jake, running towards us. Debris is scattered over the island, fire making the air thick with smoke. Jake could have survived, and if he’s alive, he’ll give me the answers I need. I’m picking my way through the stonemason blocks when I catch sight of him. I immediately aim the weapon and yell. “I don’t want to shoot you, Jake.” He coughs as he stumbles towards me, but his own weapon raises to meet mine. “I give you a roof, a job, and you blow my shit up?” I blink, eyes burning from the smoke. “I didn’t blow anything up. If I did I wouldn’t be stupid enough to be here when it happened, would I?” He steps closer, through the smoke and I see the confusion on his scorched face. “Then who did?” It takes me three seconds to work up the courage to voice what I just now understand. “Mary.” There is no possible reason for him to lie to me, so I take a step closer, and hope we can resolve this before I pass out. “She pushed you to buy this place, didn’t she?” He shakes his head. “She doesn’t know anything about bombs. You do—” I cut him off. “She knows plenty of soldiers though, doesn’t she?” His gun arm stays locked on me as he edges closer. He’s not saying anything, so I press on. “Was she the one who suggested you repaint and rename your boat?” His shoulders go rigid. “What if she was?” I’m struggling to stay upright, my vision is fading in and out, and I know if I give him an inch, he’ll shoot me without hesitation. “Did she suggest you take it out for a spin just before the bomb went off?” I know I’ve laid enough doubt when his gun arm starts to waver and he doesn’t reply. I carry on, feeling the energy flowing out of me along with my blood. “She asked you to come back here, didn’t she? Probably asked you to retrieve something.” “Her pills,” he mumbles. I nod. “She tricked Blaire into coming back. She knew she was running out of time; she knew she had to cover her tracks.” I step closer and pray my legs hold out long enough to make him see sense. “One final explosion and all the evidence is destroyed.” He’s still not saying anything, but pain is etched on his face so I slowly lower my weapon so I’m no longer aiming at his chest. “She must have known there was a chance they wouldn’t payout, but you, your death then your pension, that was a sure thing, wasn’t it?” He steps through the smoke and glares, but his gun is no longer pointed at me. “I’m worth more dead to her than alive.” Jake looks me dead in the eye before his voice comes out reedy. “The camera. I told the police I installed it to keep an eye on you.” He sighs and looks at the outline of the castle burning in the cold night air. “I thought she was cheating on me with one of the staff out in the Boathouse. I installed the camera, hid it and didn’t tell her. For a while I thought it was you.” I frown at him. “You thought I was screwing Mary?” His laugh comes out caustic. “I said for a while I did. Now I know why she was so pissed I kept checking over the weekend.” I push the gun down the back of my wet suit and slump onto the scorched grass. “Did you meet your weekday staff before you hired them?” He takes a seat on the stone block closest to me. “Most. But the last few months, she started using an agency.” His tone turns wry. “You were my last hire.” He looks over his shoulder at the castle ruins. “There was a wannabe Jarhead. Got kicked out of training. Mary said she felt sorry for him, said he’d got a bad deal. He was a lazy little shit, not surprised he didn’t last. I fired him two months ago.” I nod limply. At least that explains where he got the combat skills. Jake’s gaze is as steely as ever. “Guess we’ll see if anything survived to identify him.” It’s a joke, I know it’s a joke, but right now I’m dangerously close to passing out. “If they aren’t already on there way here, call the Coast Guard for me. Tell them I need O+.” Jake frowns and finally seems to recognize I’m bleeding out. He gets to his feet and is on his phone in a second. While he waits for the operator to connect him, he looks down at me and winces. “Are we good?” he asks. I manage a shallow smile as I lose my battle to stay upright. “We’re not good. We’re motherfucking Marines,” I slur. *** Luther My tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth when I prise my eyes open. I immediately regret it as white light makes pain shoot through my skull. A line is in one arm infusing me with blood, the other is bandaged and from the dull ache, stitched. I try to shift my weight and hear a tut-tut coming from beside me. I snap my neck and am rewarded by spinning that doesn’t stop until I see Delta’s blurry face come into view. “Blaire?” I croak. She takes a seat and drags it closer. “Being interviewed. Then she’s going to stay the night with her brother. She’s fine. You, on the other hand…” I grunt a half laugh at her and look out the door to see the detective who arrested me hovering around the door. She follows my gaze and sighs. “He’s not a complete douche even if I had to do half of his job for him.” I chuckle. Glad to be waking minus the handcuffs I half expected. “Jake didn’t know.” She nods and looks at the bandage on my arm. “Yeah. I figured. I couldn’t find anything to suggest he was aware. Poor sap. I think he really loved her.” I have nothing to say, but apparently, she does. “What about you? Do you love Blaire?” She stares so intently; she damn near burns holes in me. I look at the detective rather than answer. Delta snickers alongside me. “You can deny it all you like—” I jerk my head towards her, feeling oddly vulnerable lying hooked up to a machine as she asks me about something that’s none of her business. “I’m not denying it. I’m not admitting it either.” She rolls her eyes and pats me on the arm. “Uh-huh. Well, she’s asking to see you.” The words come out rough. “Not now. She’s been through enough because of me.” I swear if I wasn’t hooked up to a machine she’d have hit me. “Damn it. When are you going to stop punishing yourself? The mission went wrong. The intel was corrupted.” Her eyes well and I know I’ve misread her. “Jess knew the risks and so did her family—” I cut her off. “I know. There’s something I’ve needed to do for a while now.” She sniffs then a faint smile appears. “You need me to drive you?” I shake my head. “No. Thanks. I need to go alone.” I have no idea if Jess’ husband will even speak to me. But if there is any chance, I at least have a reason to try. *** Blaire 11.13am I’m tucked up in the upstairs bedroom at my brother’s trying to talk to a very agitated Abbie. “I cannot believe this! I thought she was like, the sweetest little woman ever. I swear, if I wasn’t watching the news right now, I would think you were barking mad.” I cast a glance at the flowers Jake Jensen sent via my lawyer an hour ago. While I’m not so sure I want flowers, his apology was genuine enough. “I know. Truth really is stranger than fiction.” She’s silent for a moment. “Um, there’s something else. I wasn’t sure if you knew.” I frown. “What?” “Kent and Carol Casey. They’re seeing each other.” I’m so shocked, my jaw drops. “What about Kent’s ex-girlfriend?” She sighs. “I don’t know. It must have been a one-time thing while she was visiting. But Carol’s been seeing Kent. She’s moving to London with him.” “Oh,” is all I can say. “Yeah. Guess this explains why she’s been such a bitch to you. She wanted your man.” It does explain a lot. And I’m strangely unbothered. In fact, it’s a relief to know they’re both leaving New York. It means I won’t have to deal with either of them again. “Are you okay?” Abbie asks. I chew my lip as I stare at the colorful flowers on the dresser, my phone beeps in my ear letting me know I have another call coming through. “I’m okay. Kind of ironic really. You said she’d get hers, guess she did. Plus, aside from the money he’ll get when the house sells, he’s got no money.” She chuckles. “And he'll be cheating on her the second he sees his ex again.” Despite myself, I smile. “Well, good luck to them. No two people deserve each other more. Sorry, I need to go, that might be my lawyer on the phone.” “No problem. Take care. And call me when you want to catch up.” After a hasty goodbye and a promise to fill her in on all the excitement over a drink soon, I answer the other call with a ridiculous pang of hope it’s Luther. “Blaire? Good news. The detective took the divorce and the trauma you suffered into consideration. So, no charges laid for not disclosing the nature of your relationship with Luther Beckett.” I exhale audibly and she laughs. “Oh, and you should know, all charges against Luther Beckett have been dropped. And he’s just discharged himself.” I sit up in bed and grip the phone a little tighter. “Did he leave a message for me?” “Doesn’t look like it. I could try to find out where he went?” “No. That’s okay,” I say. She starts to talk about what will happen now I’m a witness, but I’m too busy trying not to think about why he left without saying goodbye. Chloe pokes her head in just as I end the call and decide I need a shower. Her hair now red to match her nails, she winces again at the bruising on my face. “Dad said to ask you if you want breakfast?” She frowns. “Well, brunch really.” I have no appetite but I need coffee after a restless night. “I’ll take a shower then be down.” She pauses half in the room as I pull my aching body out of bed. “Are you going to be staying with us for a while? I shrug my robe on and try not to let the pain it causes show on my face. There’s such hope in her voice and I’m so tired I’m almost tempted to say I will be. But I know if I stay now when I’m most afraid, I’ll never go back to my own house. I wrap my arm around her shoulders. “Nope. But soon as I get a place of my own, you can come stay any time you like.” She doesn’t look terribly happy about it, but she seems to be on her best behavior, possibly because I look awful. “Sure. Maybe I can help you find somewhere close?” I smile encouragement. “There’s a two-bedroom a few streets away coming up for rent. I was thinking about taking a look.” Her smile grows as I take my hand off her shoulder and open the bathroom door. “I’ll go check it out online.” I step inside the bathroom but she lingers as if worried about me. “I, guess, um, you know. I’m glad you’re okay.” She throws her arms around me and I hug her quickly before my own emotions erupt in a noisy display. “I’ll be down in a minute,” I say. I close the door. Check my reflection in the mirror and immediately burst into stifled sobs. My throat is covered in bruises, my cheek red with a gash running along my temple I can only assume came from the gun. Dark circles my bloodshot eyes and my pallor is so bad I look ghostly. I came so close to losing my life, and when push came to shove I didn’t think about Kent or the house, I was thinking about Chloe about Nick and about the man who saved my life. I step under the shower and let the water soothe away some of the ache in my bones. My life is never going to be the same again after this. I thought I’d experienced enough trauma for a lifetime. But once again, I was caught in the middle of things. Once again, I was a victim. Helpless. Defenseless. Luther may have saved my life, and I’ll always be grateful, but if he hadn’t have been there, I would have died because I didn’t know what to do. I wash my hair and use the conditioning time to think about what I’d do differently if I had a chance to replay it. The answer comes in an instant and I know how to overcome the fear that has held me in chains for far too long. I step out of the shower with renewed determination that steers me towards the kitchen. Whatever happens with Luther, I refuse to be a victim ever again. *** Luther From where I parked just down the dirt road from Jess’ house, my shoulders start to shake and I’m no longer sure I can go through with this. Her dog is running around in the yard, and I can see her little girl toddling about, chasing after it. I’m working my jaw so hard; I’m sure it’s partially the cause of the headache the pills they gave me don’t seem to be touching. The doctor nearly had a fit when I told him I was leaving, but if I can’t do this now, in a haze of morphine, I don’t think I ever will. I climb out of the truck, almost hitting the ground when the gravel road shifts underneath me. I grit my teeth and manage to make it to the farm gate before my head starts to swim. I probably shouldn’t be driving. I made it here on adrenaline and coffee. My resolve and my energy seem to last right up to the moment I see Jess’ husband strolling across the yard towards me. Dressed in his typical cowboy garb, I almost expect him to tip his hat at me. But his confident stride falters and I know he recognizes me. I place my hand on the gate to steady myself as he stares at me like I’m an alien. “You coming in or what?” he says. I swallow past the lump in my throat and all the things I wanted to say don’t seem to make any sense now I’m standing here at her gate looking at Mike when Jess can’t. He glances at his daughter and shakes his head. “What do you want, Beckett?” So many things run through my mind I can’t settle on just one. He takes a step closer and I see the wedding ring still on his finger. Guilt tightens my already churning stomach. “Why did you come here?” I finally seem to be able to answer but my words are almost a rasping whisper. “It should have been me.” The little girl tears towards us, and nearly collides with her father in her haste to greet me. The dog, a Labrador puppy, bounds beside her, wagging, barking and trying to lick her face. She squeals as Mike scoops her up and holds her close. “But it wasn’t. You’re alive and my wife isn’t.” Bile starts to rise to my throat as the girl starts playing with his hair. He smiles at her then looks at me. “I haven’t seen you since before deployment.” My head starts to swim, and I’m vision starts to blur, my palms are slick with sweat and I can feel beads of sweat on my forehead. Mike takes a step closer, Jess’ daughter still in his arms as he opens the gate. “You look like death warmed up. Get inside before you pass out.” I stumble inside and am greeted by the puppy, leaping at my heels. The ground is moving beneath me as the cloudless sky spins above me. The last thing I see is Mike’s angry face as I fold in two and slam into the grass. “Luther Beckett. NSDAP15337. Corporal. March 15, 1990.” “Why is you red?” I frown at him. “What?” He reaches out and pokes my cheek. “Is you okay?” I shake my head, wondering if it’s me or him that’s losing their mind. I settle on him trying to rattle me and repeat in a monotone what I’ve been for the last two days. “Luther Beckett. NSDAP15337. Corporal. March 15, 1990.” He giggles and my eyes pop open. “You funny.” I blink twice. He opens his mouth and all that comes out is a bark. What the hell kind of twisted interrogation is this? He shakes his head. “Want cake?” I squint at him. I must be losing my marbles. I’m dehydrated, hallucinating. He did not just poke my arm and screw up his face. He’s been torturing me the last three days. He’s the man who carved up my back, who listened to me scream, and he’s the man who made me bleed right before he murdered my best fucking friend. “Me get Daddy.” What? What? Jess is laughing beside me. From the back of a horse, laughing as I can’t get the stupid animal to quit eating the grass. “You gave me a broken one.” She laughs so hard tears stream down her face. “You just need to get to know her.” I shake my head, not understanding how she looks so happy out here in the countryside and can assemble an assault rifle faster than any other Jarhead I know. She’s grinning at me, blue eyes bright, blonde hair pulled back in the uniform bun even though it doesn’t need to be. Her smile fades into concern. “Get to know her, Luther.” I frown at her, ready to say I don’t want to get to know a horse, but when I look down, it’s not the mane of the horse, but Blaire’s long dark hair, her piercing eyes, and full lips. With a grunt, I open my eyes to a round face with rosy cheeks and blue eyes peering at me. A chubby finger pokes me in the chest as a piercing yell is blasted right in my ear. “Daaaaadddddeeee. He awake.” I flinch and manage to sit up enough to see I’m under the shade of a tree and not where I collapsed on the grass. With a groan, I manage to pull myself up so my spine is against the tree. Mike appears as the girl toddles towards the house babbling. His smile is mildly amused. “She wants to feed you the cake we made.” I squint up at him, my heart crashing about in my chest as he looks at the blood seeping through the bandage. “You were talking in your sleep. I think you agreed to eat it.” His lips twitch into a half-smirk. “It will probably kill you, but since you’re trying to do that anyway, you may as well join us.” I wipe the sweat from my upper lip and look at the house and at the little girl climbing the front steps. “I fell asleep?” I ask him. He nods and stares down at me like I’m a moron for even asking. “Passed out from blood loss more like. But you were dreaming.” He shifts his weight, his tanned forehead knotted as I try to get up. “You were mumbling my wife’s name and something about Talib. You dream about her? About how she died?” Ice trickles through me. “Every time I try to sleep.” My throat thickens as he wipes his eyes and looks in the direction of the house. “She’s so much like her already. Hot-headed, stubborn, bossy.” His eyes land on me and there is nothing but shared memories and sorrow in his gaze. “You’re the one who’s been putting money in our account, aren’t you?” I can’t deny I’ve been funneling most of my money, so I slowly nod. He shakes his head, and mutters under his breath. “What were you trying to do? Pay penance?” I can’t even answer that. Nothing I could give him could atone. Nothing would ever compensate. He sighs heavily. “You better come sit down. She’ll sulk all day if you don’t come eat cake.” A slow smile creeps over my battered face. I don’t know what I came here for. But I didn’t in a million years expect to fall asleep and dream I was still locked inside that room with Jess. I sure as shit didn’t expect to be invited inside for some cake by a man who should hate me. “You sure?” I ask. He frowns at me and extends his hand. “I’m sure I’m not eating this alone, and don’t pretend to eat it, she’ll know.” Despite myself, I laugh. Because that’s just the kind of attitude I’d expect from Jess’ daughter. My fingers clasp onto his, and he wrenches me up. “Okay.” And for the first time since coming home, standing in Jess’ front yard, with her daughter waiting for me at her kitchen table, I think there’s a chance I can be. *** Blaire Two weeks later. I’m almost finished reading through my first draft when there’s a knock at my door. Since no one knows where I live apart from Nick, Chloe and Abbie, I don’t hesitate to answer it. Nick is standing there, looking awkward, and I know before he speaks he has some news. My mind immediately jumps to Mom, then Chloe, so when I open the door, expecting to see Chloe beside him, my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. Wearing his dress blues, his hat tucked under his arm, is Luther. I blink twice and have to remind myself to draw breath. I gulp, heat running over my skin as looks me over way too suggestively considering my brother is right there. Nick gives me a shallow smile. “This showed up at my door couple hours ago asking for you. Chloe nearly fainted.” A smile twitches at Luther’s lip, letting me know my sneaky little brother has had way too much time to get to know Luther. Nick steps back and extends his hand to Luther surprising me further. As if seeing him again wasn’t enough the next words out his mouth knock the wind right out of me. “I’ll be in touch,” Luther says. Nick gives him a clipped nod that lets me know he and Luther have already made some kind of plan I’m not privy to. After a handshake, Nick looks at me. “Chloe wants to see you both for dinner tonight if you’re back in time?” I’m so stunned Luther is here, looking incredible and that everyone seems to be conspiring against me, that I look at Luther. “Back in time?” Luther looks decidedly uneasy. “I need to go say goodbye to a friend. I was hoping you’d come with me.” Whoever it is he wants to take me to see, Nick and possibly Chloe, know all about it. I’m still frowning when Nick climbs inside his car and pulls away after a lazy wave. I swallow hard and try to still my raging hormones when Luther steps so close he’s within touching distance. “Where have you been? And why are you dressed like this?” His confidence slips a little as he looks everywhere but at me. “I needed to make sure I was getting better before I came to see you.” My eyebrows rise. “And are you?” A smile flickers at his lips. “The doc thinks so.” Surprise makes my jaw slacken. “You’re getting professional help? You’re sleeping?” He nods. “I still have a long way to go. But yes, I’m making progress. So, if you’re up for a road trip, I’d like you to come with me.” Whoever this friend is, he’s important to Luther. And I know Nick would never have brought him here if he hadn’t earned his trust. Still, I’m cautious as I nod my agreement. “I’ll get my purse.” He doesn’t ask to come inside, and I’m not sure if I’m disappointed. Despite my irritation he’s been scheming behind my back with my brother, I’m practically drooling. Inviting him inside while he’s dressed like that, could lead to me forgetting he’s disappeared without a trace, leaving me hanging for two weeks. I shrug my coat on, grab my purse, and lock my front door. He’s still waiting by his truck, afternoon sunlight falling on his chiseled cheekbones, catching the buttons on his dress jacket. His shoes are so shined, I swear I could see my reflection. Whoever this friend is, Luther wants to impress him. He opens my door for me, gives me a tight smile, then climbs in the driver’s side. “I’ve been putting this off. My therapist thinks I need to honor her memory. And this seems the best way to do it.” The penny finally drops as he switches the engine on and pulls out into my tree-lined street. “We’re going to a, um, cemetery?” He nods, his eyes on the road, posture rigid. “I asked for permission to wear my dress uniform. I never got to go to the memorial.” I swallow, throat closing over as he keeps driving. I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing, so I just stay silent as he drives towards the military cemetery I only know is there due to signage. He doesn’t talk, and after not seeing him for two weeks, I’m not sure what to say to him anyway. The only thing I am sure of is that Luther is getting the help he needs. If I can play a small part in helping him to heal the scars he wears internally, then it’s worth the effort to come with him. We pass through the gates, and my stomach tightens as he finds a parking space. He exhales slowly, closes his eyes and I’m sure there’s a slight shake to his hands. When he doesn’t move, and just stares straight ahead, I reach over and place my hand on his. He snaps his head in my direction and works his jaw furiously as his fingers curl over mine. “Okay. Let’s do this.” He gets out of the truck, and I watch him try to pull himself together as he places the cap on his head and opens the door for me. My fingers lace into his as he helps me out. Sun shining down on us, we slowly walk towards the thousands of headstones in the grass. With each step, Luther’s body grows tenser, his fingers are gripping mine so tight, I know he’s struggling to stay composed. My respect for him only grows when he directs me to a grey headstone and stops directly in front of it. He doesn’t say a word, just stares at the slab of mason, a blank expression on his face. I squeeze his hand and read the headstone and suddenly realize who we’re saying goodbye to. Jess ‘Mad dog’ Carlson. January 12 1991-September 14th 2018 Corporal United States Marine Corps Mother to Gracie, beloved wife to Mike I look at Luther, and he slowly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a coin. He places it on the headstone and dips his chin. Not understanding the significance of the quarter, I stay silent as he swallows hard and keeps his eyes on the headstone. Minutes pass, and I stay by his side, holding his hand, while he just stares ahead, not saying a word, just stiffly staring at the quarter. If it weren’t for the way he can’t tear his gaze away, I’d almost think he was unaffected. When he does speak it’s not what I anticipated hearing. “Oorah you mad bitch. You were the best of us all.” Without a word of explanation, he pulls me away, leaving me questions I’m half afraid to ask. I make it to the truck before I risk seeing if he’s up to speaking. His face seems a little lighter as he opens the door for me. “Why a quarter?” He pulls his hat off and climbs in beside me before he answers. “It’s a tradition. Different coins have different meanings. A quarter means I was with Jess when she died.” He plucks at his top button and pulls his jacket off, so he can roll up his sleeves before he takes a shuddering breath. “We were deployed together in June. It was supposed to be over in six months, Jess was looking forward to getting back for her daughter’s first birthday.” I focus on breathing in and out, and to not break the moment by asking him questions. “We were just doing a final check of buildings before we left the area when our company started taking heavy fire. We were pinned down, running low on ammo and a sniper was firing at us. Jess and I got caught between a building and the courtyard. We were cut off, and we had no eyes on the rest of the company.” He releases a pained breath. “Jess took a hit and I knew if we held our position and waited for the rest of the company to locate us, she’d die.” My body is rigid as he carries on as though he needs to get the words out. “I saw a chance to enter a building, and I convinced Jess we needed to move before she bled out.” He looks so tortured I need to say something. “You were trying to save her life.” His shoulders slump as he shakes his head. “It was pointless. We were captured, and she still died.” I flinch as he runs a hand over his face and I see the ugly gash on his forearm. He catches me looking and gives me a wry smile. “One more to add to the collection.” I don’t know how to respond to that, so I just shift closer to him and run my hand over the top of his short hair. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine. Dad was bad enough, but…” I stroke the skin at the back of his neck. “What happened to him? To your mom?” He asks. “Dad’s still in jail. The judge accepted a plea of temporary insanity. Dad was depressed after he lost his job. But when he found out Mom was having an affair, he started getting worse.” I sigh. “After he was locked up, Mom was sort of in a survival state for years. After I moved in with a friend, and Nick got married, she moved to Europe. Nick and I hardly hear from her. It’s like it’s just too painful for her, so we never talk about it. What about your folks?” Luther shakes his head. “I’m a foster kid. Bounced around from home to home. It wasn’t all bad, saw a lot of places, and it’s how I wound up joining the Corps. I finally found a family that would stick.” “Nick said Chloe’s mom isn’t around?” I exhale. “Nick married her when she got pregnant right out of high school. She thinks she’s Chloe’s pal. Which means she lets Chloe run wild.” He nods slowly. “She said she wants to be a nanny. I think I might know someone who could do with one. Out in Hudson.” I pull back and frown at him. “You do?” His smile is tight when he nods. “It’s on a farm. Right smack bang in the country. I can take you out there if you like?” It’s such a thoughtful offer and a whole lot more feasible than Paris, so I find myself nodding. “When are you going next?” His smile twitches into apprehensive. “That’s up to you. I wanted to show you the land I brought out there.” My eyes pop. “You did?” He looks out the window at the cemetery and shakes his head. “You want to go see it? I have something to say, I don’t want to say in a parking lot.” I give him a cautious smile and fasten my belt. “Sure. I mean, if you have time?” He takes a last look at the cemetery and gives me a half-smile. “I have nothing but time right now. I got fired from my job.” I wince. “Because of the arrest?” He grimaces. “Not much call for a security guard with an arrest in a very public case.” Considering he now has no income, he seems remarkably calm about it. “What will you do for work?’ His eyes stay on the road as the asphalt flies under us. “Whatever I can. But it’s not really an issue.” I scrunch up my face. “How can it not be an issue?” He shrugs. “It just isn’t.” I frown at him and his casual attitude towards money, wondering if I should be alarmed when he’s clearly not. I’m still finding excuses when we turn off the highway and start down a dirt road. Dust billows around us as we suddenly start to see acres of green pastures surrounding us. He catches me looking out his window as a farmhouse passes us by. “Hudson. My place is just past the bridge.” I grip the handhold and watch him as his shoulders start to relax. I could picture him here, working the land, getting his hands dirty, wrangling horses, or whatever it is that happens on a farm. “Did you grow up in the country?” He almost spits a laugh then shakes his head. “Closest thing I ever got was staying at Mike and Jess’ getting drunk and trying to ride a horse.” I cock my head at him as he drives over a wooden bridge running over a stream. “So, you don’t know anything about farming?” He shakes his head. “Nope.” I pull a face at him as we pull up at a broken-down barn standing in the middle of a massive empty field. “Then why did you want to buy farmland?” He slides the seatbelt off and yanks open his door before I can ask another question. When he opens my door, he’s already unbuttoning his shirt and tugging it off to reveal the singlet underneath. “I didn’t buy it to farm. I bought it to build a house on. Somewhere quiet.” Still not sure why I’m here, he surprises me by taking my hand and leading me towards the barn. “This is where I’ve been spending most of my time.” He opens the rusty door causing the hinges to squeak so loud I cringe. I step inside, expecting a mess, but am pleasantly surprised to find it’s reminiscent of a rustic loft apartment. I try to take everything in, but my appraisal is caught short when I see the bed he’s been sleeping in. I turn to ask him a question but lose the desire to speak as I see him hanging his blues up on a hanger. I swallow, feeling too warm as he kicks off his shoes and approaches me with a serious look on his face. “I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to tell you that until I met you I wished I’d died in Afghanistan too.” It’s possibly the most romantic, most incredible thing anyone has ever said to me. But he’s not done. He takes my hands and looks deep into my eyes. “You have no idea what you’ve done for me. If I have to spend the rest of my life thinking up ways to prove it to you, I will.” My heart has started to crash against my ribcage, fingers itching with the desire to touch his skin. To feel him inside me, to kiss with no fear of reprisal. I want him so bad, my breathing is getting rapid and I no longer care about anything else apart from the feel of his weight on top of me. “Oh, Luther. That is, so,” I can’t even speak. My eyes are watering as through trying to extinguish the fire burning through me. He frowns. “Are you okay?” I swallow hard and toss my purse to one side and with trembling fingers start to unbutton my blouse. “No. I am not okay. I have done nothing but think about you for the last two weeks. We have plenty of time to talk later.” He sends me a doubting look. “You want there to be a later?” I back up so I’m against the wall, chest rising and falling as I struggle to stay coherent. “What do you want?” Luther stalks towards me and places one arm against the wall, so he can lean towards me. “I want there to be later. I want there to be forever.” He kisses me and my entire body responds. Heat blazes across my skin as his kiss deepens until his tongue is probing mine. With a grunt, he tugs me towards him and grips the back of my neck and looks me in the eye. “You sure you want a Jarhead in your life?” I have no idea what he’s talking about so I just kiss him harder until he’s lifting me up and placing me on his bed. We collapse in a tangle of limbs as he presses kisses to my neck and finishes unbuttoning my blouse. His brow knots as he sees the faint bruise I received a few days ago. “What’s this?” I kiss him and smile. “I’m taking Krav Maga lessons. It can get a little intense.” He narrows his eyes. “I could teach you to defend yourself. Teach you how to handle a weapon.” I drop my hand so my fingers are tugging at his pants. “I’m sure you could but this was something I needed to do for myself.” He nods. “I get that.” I kiss him again and slide my hand inside his pants so I can take his hard cock in my hand. I stroke him until he’s growing as slippery as I am and he’s moaning in my ear. He pulls back so he can shrug out of his dress pants. While he’s removing all the obstacles for me to touch his naked body, I wriggle out of my own clothes. I’m trembling all over when he grabs my hips and slides me to the end of the bed. He gets to his knees and uses his tongue until I’m gasping for air and screaming his name. When I’m recovering from an insanely good orgasm, he inserts his finger inside me and keeps using his tongue until I’m arching my back and coming so hard I’m worried I might blackout. He climbs on top of me and slides inside me making ripples of ecstasy travel through my entire body. I slide my hands down his back, feeling every one of his scars, caressing them as he murmurs in my ear. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Sheer joy merges with the pleasure shooting through me. His thrusts become more frantic and I grip his ass cheeks, digging my nails in as I feel his muscles tense. He leans back and puts my legs on his shoulders so he can pound me deeper until I’m a panting, quivering wreck. His face contorts as he starts to make animalistic grunts of pleasure as he releases inside me. He collapses on top of me, breathing hard before he rolls off me. “I thought you’d want to talk for longer,” he says. I roll onto my side and kiss his shoulder. “I did. But in case you didn’t realize, I’m seriously hung up on your body.” He frowns and laces his hands behind his head. “It’s pretty banged up.” I growl at him and slap him until his stomach muscles tighten and he manages a smile. “It’s sensational, every inch of it,” I say. His fingers curl over mine and he draws lazily circles on the back of my hand. “Why did you go to see my brother before coming here?” I murmur. He turns so he’s looking at me. “I needed his blessing.” My heart starts to thump about. “For what?” He releases my hand and rolls on top of me so he’s looking in my eyes. “How long is your lease on your rental?” I run my fingers down the scars on his back, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. “Six months.” A smile twitches at his lips. “How fast can your brother build us a house? We can’t live in this barn.” The butterflies increase as I grip him tighter. “Us?” He smiles. “We need to live somewhere after we get married.” Married? Married to a Marine? What does that entail? And I only just got divorced and he’s thinking about marriage? I must be taking too long because he swallows, jaw tight, face twisted in doubt and I see how much he’s been hiding but I’ve made the mistake of falling too fast before. I inwardly wince at having to remind him of reality. “We’d live here, I’d write and you’d?” He drops his gaze and in that single moment, I see all the things he’s sacrificed, all the pain he’s endured and the punishment he’s heaped on himself. “You mean can I support you?” I try to shrug. “I know that sounds awful. But after Kent…” I don’t want to compare him to my ex, they’re as different as chalk and cheese, so I wince but he doesn’t seem upset, if anything he seems unperturbed. “No, it’s a fair question.” He pauses, face creased with emotion, I start to worry he’s going to tell me something truly horrible. But the next words out of his mouth are completely unexpected. “What do you know about Cryptocurrency?” I blink. “Nothing. The entire concept is weird.” He chuckles. “Delta talked me and another few guys into investing. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but…” An unsure smile flickers at his lips. “I’m technically a millionaire. I don’t need to work.” I stare at him, not sure what he’s saying. Millionaire? “Um, but that’s not real money?” He shrugs. “You have to use a middle man to purchase things. But that’s the way global currency is headed.” I’m still not sure I believe him, and he seems to know it, so he points to the lamp beside his bed. “I get it. You want tangible. I bought the lamp with it. I filled my truck with gas, got groceries. You just go online buy a gift card at the companies that accept Cryptocurrency, then use it pretty much anywhere gift cards are accepted.” It’s so much information, given so freely, I start to laugh and wish I’d not been so dismissive of him. “Okay. I believe you.” Holy shit, he’s really a millionaire! He looks so relieved I kiss him, he responds, making me wonder if he’s ready for round two, but when he eases back, I can see new doubt flickering on his face. “It’s unlikely I’d get called up. But if I had to go, you’d be by yourself for months at a time, maybe longer, can you handle that?” At his words, I tense and wait for the familiar anxiety to grow, expecting it, so used to it, it’s the oddest sensation when my heartrate stays even and my breathing is regular. I look into his eyes, see the pain he’s been hiding for so long, the grief, the loss and I have my answer. “I’ll be fine.” And for the first time in my life, I really believe I can be fine on my own. A tentative smile grows on his face. “I love you.” Tears sting in my eyes as I whisper my reply. “I love you too.” He smiles so wide I see the dimples I never noticed before. I run a finger over his cheek. “Jarhead?” He grins even harder and a wicked look flashes over his face. “I’ll answer to Jarhead, Leatherneck, Devil Dog…” Warmth settles in, smothering the uncertainty I’m making a mistake and I kiss him so hard, I’m not so sure we’re going to make it time for dinner with my brother. If I have my way, we won’t make it for breakfast either. Because regardless of whether we marry or whether he goes back to active duty or stays by my side, Luther is, and always will be, my hero. *** Thanks so much for choosing to read Luther and Blaire’s steamy love story. If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving an honest review on your favorite store. Lexi ❤ Excerpt from One Wild Weekend With Tyler One Wild Weekend with Tyler #7 One Wild Weekend with Series © Lexi Hart 2019 All Rights Reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission in writing from the author, except brief quotations in critical articles, news articles and reviews. Lexi Hart is the pen name of a crazy Kiwi romance junkie who prefers to live in the heads of her characters than her own. If you want to escape reality with me and love fast burn romances with a splattering of suspense, The One Wild Weekend Series is sure to satisfy you. For readers who enjoy a slower burn, and a whole lot more angst, I hope you’ll try my ongoing fake romance series, Bad For Me. If you’d like to connect with me and would like a FREE Novella, sign up for my twice-monthly newsletter (no spam, no random promoting of other authors' books) so you can get all the VIP treatment, and we can get to know each other. www.lexihartromance.com Note to reader: I wrote this story purely for my (and hopefully your) entertainment. The events contained within are fanciful flights of my overactive imagination, coupled with my deep and abiding love of female detectives…and cowboys. The location is fictional. Where possible I have used accurate procedure and terminology, but please note, I have taken artistic license when it best moved the story forward. I hope you enjoy meeting Zoe and Tyler and if you do, I’d love to see your review. Lexi XX