"Tz, tz, tz, Kalota. I would have thought you would tell me if you had such a distinguished visitor." Zaret's voice is calm. Too calm. Not even the slightest tremor suggests that Platura's presence surprises him Get your composure? That makes me open my eyes again. Platura is standing in front of me and although he hasn't drawn a knife yet, his hand is more than obvious on his waistband. But despite the gesture, he doesn't seem intimidated. His Posture is relaxed No flexing of the shoulders No firm stance But Zaret doesn't seem to be afraid either, a slight smile on his lips as he surveys Platura. "I don't know that Kalota would have to answer to anyone about it." Platura's voice is also free of any tremors. It sounds more like bored. As if he were talking to someone about the weather. But what the two men cannot influence is their presence . That they are smothering me and making it impossible for me to say anything. But at least I want to sit down. So I push myself up, making a tight noise. But despite the noise, neither of them looks at me. As if they engage in a duel over looks. "I think your knowledge is generally rather limited." Zaret makes an apologetic face and looks at both of us. Seems almost amused by the situation. I automatically reach for the blanket and pull it over me. I'm still tired My limbs and even the adrenaline pumping through me doesn't seem to change that. But I can think better again. Remember Platura's words. That if I betray him, he becomes my personal nightmare. "Oh, sorry." Zaret turns to Platura and tilts his head slightly, actually managing to put some kind of questioning expression on his face. Hm?" And that just makes me part my lips in shock. So it's clear that Zaret is here on purpose. This isn't a random meeting. Zaret is planning something. Otherwise he would never implicate the king. And that puts a weight on my chest that I can no longer control. Suddenly I find it difficult to breathe. I gasp for air, but again neither of them looks at me. They do not care. "Is a bow appropriate, or is it more like pure contempt." It's no more than a growl than anything else. And now Zaret changes the mood of the room. With those few words, the aggressiveness seems to increase. There's that underlying vibration, what is that Occupying entire rooms. Almost absent-mindedly I look at Platura and a huge lump forms in my throat. But Platura also seems to notice that something is wrong. He glances at me very briefly and the word treason literally screams at me from his eyes. I want to shake my head, want to scream I didn't know, but I've had neither, I seem petrified, unable to react. "A curtsy would be enough for me." Platura's mouth twitches, giving the impression that he's smiling without actually doing it. But what Platura is trying to hide, Zaret allows. A smirk breaks out on his lips and he nods thoughtfully "I'll keep that in mind for our next meeting." Zaret comes in a step further. Platura immediately grabs the handle of the knife and the tension in the room continues to increase. I should do something. anything! Platura must not know that I am a traitor. But I can't think of anything. So I look to Zaret. Shake his head slightly, but he doesn't seem to notice. Or he doesn't care what I want. Instead, Zaret points to Platura's hand and the smile widens a bit. more dangerous. "You should be careful And as I watch Platura's hand disappear under his linen robe, I remember my knife. The thing that was supposed to end my life and is now under my mattress. Which should show me that I'm strong enough to face anything. I could conjure it up and, like the two men in my room, amplify the underlying whirring. But that's not on my mind. I want to end the situation. Or? do i want this I squint at Zaret. Imagine the little dagger disappearing into his torso. Makes the blood gush out of his mouth and soil the floor. It would take away a lot of my problems. With one hit. And yet my heart seems to cramp at the thought. I would never hear the thunder again. Not feel the lips on mine. It's paradoxical that he keeps sending me into the flames and watching me burn - hurting me in every possible way - and yet I think that way. As if I perceive the pain Zaret helps inflict differently. Like what he's doing is okay. That's not it. And yet I can't fight my feelings. "I just want to be prepared for everything." Platura's voice is still so calm. There is no intimidation in it either. As if this situation is nothing new for him. But that could also be the case. I don't know Platura and I don't know how often he gets into such dangers. And since the two men are dealing with each other anyway, I close my eyes again. Take a deep breath. Trying to sort my thoughts, trying to see what Zaret is trying to do with this. But it doesn't make any sense. Zaret laughs hard and shakes his head. "Understandable." He takes another step towards Platura and there's the man I fear so much again. The storm in his eyes is visible even to me. "But I'm not here for you. I want to see her." Zaret looks at me and that's enough to make my heart drop a notch. There's that unbridled hatred in his facial expressions again. But Zaret doesn't seem to want to take the risk of losing sight of Platura for too long either. His gaze is on me for just a second before lifting again. "And what if I want to stay a little longer?" And now Platura's calm is over. The words are spoken almost in a whisper. It's interesting that such a normal sentence can contain such a threat. And now Platura pulls slowly pulls the dagger out of his pants. The scraping of iron on iron can be heard. But Zaret still doesn't seem to think it's necessary to get a weapon. Instead he just sighs in resignation and shrugs his shoulders indifferently. "Then have we have a problem." "I agree." And as the air seems to be getting thicker, I gain a little more strength. I can slowly push myself up. In fact, I even manage to wrap the blanket around me. Only what I can do is elude me Would Zaret leave if I asked him? Hardly. If this really isn't a coincidence, then he won't just disappear again. And so I grab Platura's arm. He tilts his head slightly in my direction , but his gaze stays on Zaret. Of course. After all, I could just be a distraction to give Zaret a second's distraction from Platura. "You should go," I whisper, and even then you can hear my tension. But how should I hide it? I don't even try . But Platura just shakes his head. "I can't." That just makes me furrow my brows in confusion. Why not. The door is right in front of him. It would only be three bloody steps. So why would Platura risk his life for me? "Platura..." , I want to start again, but am interrupted. "No, it... it can't be done." It's clear why Platura doesn't say what he's thinking. It must be about Xerxes. Our voices are both low and yet Zaret seems to understand every word. His eyes shine amused and he raises an eyebrow slightly. "You should listen to her, Platura." Zaret's eyes drop to me again, and I can't understand how he can be so casual. Zaret never said it, but I know he adores Platura. It was palpable. He never said a bad word about him or even grimaced. That means he sees Platura as an equal. So why doesn't Zaret draw a weapon even now? There must be a reason. Automatically I look around, but don't see anything that would provide an answer to the question. Zaret smiles slightly when I look at him again. He knows what's on my mind. It's obvious. But since I shouldn't really care, I turn to Platura again "I've survived many of his attacks." Zaret looks at me with amusement. In fact, there almost seems to be warmth in the eyes. But this time it doesn't make my heart skip a beat. Instead, it evokes a kind of sadness. "And today I will." My voice is far too quiet for the importance of the statement. I should be strong. As I was then. But it was taken from me. Zaret stole the strength to rebel all the harassment, by his presence, by the nice, warm brown in his eyes, by all the damn contrasts he keeps making me feel. Plata hesitates. It is obvious that reason and pride are at war. Zaret seems to notice that too and is now approaching the last bit. "I'll make it easier for you," he whispers and Platura tightens his grip on the dagger. But he doesn't stab it. The knuckles are clearly sticking out of his skin and probably "It's clear to everyone in this room that Platura could kill Zaret. But Zaret's confidence doesn't waver. Not for a second. And that's how Platura will know that he didn't come alone. There are probably men standing outside my hut. Ready, too." To end Platura's life if necessary. "The two men you came with are fighting for their lives right now. You could probably save her." Zaret doesn't continue, but he doesn't have to. Instead, he shrugs and only holds Platura's eye contact for a moment before stepping to the side, allowing Platura to leave the room. "I doubt that the life of a simple prostitute is more important to you than that of your men," he adds, leaving Platura no choice. Not a word has yet been said that Zaret knows about Xerxes. Platura probably guesses. Maybe even sure. But there are no clues. And just the small possibility that this really is a coincidence could not destroy Platura. Unlike Zaret would probably do, Platura's reason prevails. He lowers the dagger and looks at me again. I don't even begin to understand what he's thinking. Whether he's mad or not. "I'll be back," he mouths without a breath, and I nod quickly. Then he turns quickly and heads for the door. But before Platura walks out, he turns to Zaret again. None Fear is evident in him. Only certainty. "See you next time." Zaret just nods and the door opens. An icy draft rushes into my room and I shiver slightly. Wrap the blanket around me a little tighter, but it's no use. The cool air settles on me. Gives me goosebumps slowly creeping up my back. But I don't pay attention, can only stare at Zaret. And with the banging of wood on wood we are alone. This sound reverberates heavily and with it my mask falls. Suddenly, what Zaret did here hits me with full force. He pushes Xerxes into a corner. Xerxes can never take the risk that Zaret can get to me. Not after today. "What have you done?" I whisper and can only shake my head in disbelief. "You ruined everything." Zaret's mask also falls and he rubs his face. Again gives the impression that he is just as tired as I am. But this time I can't feel sorry for him. "It's the perfect way to speed things up." That just makes me gasp in disbelief and wrap the blanket even tighter around me. But it doesn't provide any warmth. At least not the warmth I need. I'm unspeakably cold The ice seems to reach even my blood Making it flow more slowly through my veins Again, someone else decides my life Again, it's Zaret. "Of course," I whisper. "That's the most important thing." It's a miracle that I'm still able to make sarcastic remarks at all. Platura will come back. Soon. He will take me with him and in that moment I know for sure that I will never set foot in my hut again. Platura will never leave me alone now. Zaret looks at me and indeed there is something like desperation on his face. "Is that what you wanted? Be free as soon as possible?” The words resonate energetically through the room and even I can tell that Zaret is getting over his head. That he is trying to turn his desperation into anger. But he can't recognizable brown of the eyes. "Free?" My voice cracks. I don't care. "Zaret, you just locked me up! Do you really think that Platura or Xerxes will let me go now?" Or let it live. But I won't say that part. Can't face the truth so blatantly. Zaret exhales heavily and before I can even react, he pushes me back. Push me against the closet. Pain hits me immediately and I yelp. Wants to push him away, but my attempts are only half-hearted. God why can't I hate his presence even now? "I thought you had a little more confidence by now." He chuckles and leans his forehead against mine. "I'll get you out of it." In fact, he sounds confident. As if he had even a remote chance. He didn't. Nevertheless, I succumb to this illusion for a moment. "After all, I haven't even tested my personal prostitute myself," he breathes and presses a kiss on the tip of my nose. This gesture alone carries something like protection. And the crazy thing is that I'm going back to pretending to be safe. That the words make me tingle. Zaret buries his hand in my hair. Presses himself against me and again he manages to seal me off with his warmth. Suddenly I no longer perceive the smell of sulfur as unpleasant. This no longer represents danger. However, what exactly the scent of Zarets triggers in me eludes me. I would probably find out if I was more focused. But I can hardly get a decent thought together. Zaret's eyes radiate warmth. real warmth. This makes it to my core and for the first time in such a long time I don't seem to be just ice in me. The hole stops tearing me. Just for the brief moment when we keep eye contact. Just for a damn second. And yet that's enough to show me what life could be like. That there is something other than this unspeakable blackness. As the freezing cold. I don't want it to end But he leans forward. Breaks eye contact and grabs my head in his grip. "Do me a favor," Zaret whispers, letting his breath fall on me. It tickles my cheek. It caresses my lips and only draws me in even more. I still manage to nod. I would love to speak, but my throat is dry. Seems like a desert and makes it impossible to say anything. Zaret takes a deep breath and there is something resonating in that tone. It's not excitement. Not joy. More like wistfulness. "Never mind what happens, always remember I never planned this. I couldn't foresee it." see what? Why does Zaret sound sad? I'm aware that meeting Platura is probably more due to spontaneity than anything else. But he must have thought about the consequences. Or? Wasn't Zaret aware that he was sending me into captivity? Without my doing, tears well up in my eyes and I nod again. It's almost paradoxical, I always wanted to hear pain in Zaret's voice. Wanted him to suffer agony. Now it seems to be so far. His whole presence has changed. Don't intimidate me. This shows me that something is wrong. Zaret has lost control. And something tells me that I have to pay for it. "I'm sorry Kalota. I really don't want to hurt you." He looks at me again. Blows a kiss on my lips and lets me feel infinite softness. "Then don't do it." My voice breaks. Ebbs away in a silent sob, and with that the first tear clears my eye. It's clear that I'm suffering from this meeting of Platura and Zaret happening around me. Zaret smiles slightly and grimaces apologetically. This time he's serious. It's not like Platura that the mockery shines in the eyes. "If I don't, you'll die." He's right. I know that. And yet it hurts so bad. The words seem to awaken something inside me. Something that has always been waiting in the dark and now attacks. Claws into my heart and slowly tears it apart. Piece by piece. And despite the torment, I straighten my shoulders. At that moment, a strength fills me that shouldn't be there. That feels wrong. But I let it Just as I don't resist tearing - the pain that comes with it. "It's okay," I whisper, closing my eyes. Swallow hard. "It's just a cycle that neither of us will ever break out of." This sentence corresponds to the truth. We both know that we always move in the same pattern. Pain, agony, and recently a new found attraction. I thought this would change something. But that won't happen. There will be no escape. It's just like Zaret said: he'll never be my white knight. We look at each other for a moment and it's crazy, but Zaret has never let me so close to him. And by that I don't mean physically, but he opens up to me. Show me a little piece of his soul. Why now? It would be so much easier for me if he just showed disgust again. Then I could hate him. Despise from the bottom of my heart. But that's exactly what he prevents. And so it creates another single tear from my eye. Why do I feel like we're just saying goodbye? Zaret takes a deep breath and a slight smile forms with him. "I'll find you," he whispers, brushing away the salty drop, letting me feel his warmth once more. "Like I've always done. It's part of our cycle, isn't it?" The smile gets bigger. sadder. punishes the lie of his words. But before I can reply, a fist hits me in the neck. Takes my breath away, my steadfastness. One hit and I fall. Hit the ground hard as another thud from Zaret's fist elicits a bloodcurdling scream. But that's okay too. It's Zaret. His way. Just what I know.