"What do you want to do then?" My voice is lowered. Whether that's from tension or because I'm not even sure I want to know, I can't say. But instead of answering, Zaret grabs me by the neck and pulls me towards him. I gasp, but I don't even think to fight back. Instead, I follow the sudden pull and crawl somewhat awkwardly towards him. That Zet now needs to have a perfect view of my privates is just Worth a flickering thought. Zaret's fingers dig too hard into my neck for that. And without much effort he directs me onto his lap. The hand travels from my neck to my throat and I immediately press myself against Zaret. My back protests against her Touch, but that's not important right now.Zaret is angry and I should do everything I can to not let this aggression turn on me. "You could have left her on all fours," Zet murmurs, pursing his lips almost in a pout. Zaret just blows an annoyed snort and presses down on my neck with a little more force. Elicits a groan from me Prostitutes, you can watch this all day long." He brushes my hair aside as he talks and I can't believe what he's saying here. It sounds like I'm his property. Surely Zarets can't be serious about that? "Or how do you see it?" He whispers in my ear and it's more than obvious that Zaret wants me to agree with him. But he can put his makeup on. He's already had way too much encouragement from me for that today. So I just make a tight voice. I'd like to say something, but I'm afraid my voice will tremble. That would only play into Zaret's hands. He sighs softly and yet you can hear the amusement in it. "You never learn, huh?" While Zaret is talking, he licks my ear lightly and normally I would be disgusted by the gesture, but right now it's pure degradation that Zaret creates with it. After all, he's showing that he can do something he wants. And just to underscore that, he slides his hand down my stomach. Reaches fingers greedily towards my middle and automatically I grab the arm. Wants to pull him away but I can't even manage it, a little strength I gasp even more with Zaret. I groan and grimace in desperation. But get the message. Release my trembling fingers from him and the pressure on my neck eases. Very hesitantly he rubs his finger over my labia and I really vibrate under the touch. Can't tell if hate or excitement is flooding me. Hell, I should hit him, kick him, or yell at him. Should spit in Zaret's face and tell him he can cross me. But it's not that simple. How could I despise him? He's the only one who gives me the way out. And above all, he takes care of me. Yes, Zaret may never be the white knight, but he's the only one who comes close. Gives me security and takes care of me. In his own way. But I've gotten used to that way by now. I know his freaks. His desire to push me into submission again and again. That's okay with me. I can deal with that and I understand it. So I bow my head slightly. Force Zaret to move away from my neck. "Okay," I whisper, grimacing in desperation as Zaret presses his finger between my labia, brushing against my clit. There's that throbbing in my abdomen again that I should feel from anyone but him. But this time Zaret doesn't seem to realize what he's doing to me. He roughly grabs my hair and tilts my head so that we can face each other. I catch a glimpse of Zet very briefly. I can see him watching us both. But like this As quickly as he disappears from my field of vision, so quickly the thoughts of his presence are gone.Only Zaret is in my head.With all his moods.His tender touches.With his fists raining down on me. "What's okay?" The voice is thick. That makes me pause for a moment and frown. Is he aroused? But since Zaret's finger is still on my most intimate zone, the question disappears as quickly as it appeared "I... I'm your personal prostitute." It's incredibly difficult for me to say. I shouldn't give in so easily. And yet this is the easiest way for me at the moment. I'm sure I'll have the strength to hold my own against Zaret tomorrow. Most certainly. Zaret smiles and the sight alone makes me gasp. This is not good. Something is happening between me and Zaret. I just can't grasp what it is. And a queasy feeling in my stomach tells me that this is just the beginning. Zaret wants to wrap me around his finger. And I can't help that. Nothing at all. My body absorbs the tenderness. That Xerxes indirectly allowed Zaret to ram his claws deeper into me is just another twist of fate. "Louder." His lips brush mine and I can't help but stiffen. There's a struggle inside me. One that's draining my energy. But I don't want to let him win just like that. Not further degrade myself. But I don't even have the strength fighting my own feelings. How should I defy Zaret? "Please don't make me do it," I whisper, already knowing that Zaret won't give in to me. But it's not words he gives me in reply. His finger circles my sensitive spot, eliciting a sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper and for a second he touches my pearl. Only very briefly. And yet in the brief touch there is a promise that he will continue if I do not comply with his request. So I close my eyes in resignation and nod slightly. Enjoy the tenderness despite everything. Who knows when Zaret will be so kind to me next? "I'm yours." That I'm reluctant to say it resonates with every syllable. Even so, Zaret's lips curl into a grin, and I can almost feel the utter satisfaction take hold of him. "Very good, Kalota," he whispers and pulls harder on my hair. I yelp and reach for Zaret's arm, but I can't reach it. My hands only catch air and so an ache can spread through my scalp that wants to eat straight into the brain. I would love to ask Zaret what I did. I just asked a question! But before I can even open my mouth, his lips hover over my ear. And this time I don't find scratching the stubble pleasant. It's like a memorial to our positions. He way up. I way down. "Remember that well. I don't want to kill you, but believe me, if you stand between me and my plan, I'll crush you." He pauses and loosens his grip slightly. Immediately I take a deep breath and really want to know what's going on in Zarets It's all going wrong in his brain. Now what makes him think I'm siding with Xerxes? "And how am I not supposed to get in your way when I have no idea what exactly you're planning?" Zaret laughs softly and my upper body vibrates against my back. And this time, the happy tone seems real. As if my question was actually a joke. "That won't happen if you keep making me everything I want," he whispers, letting his lips float over my cheek. It makes its way to my mouth and I have to swallow hard. "I really don't want to hurt you, little Kalota." The lips curl into an even wider grin and Zaret loosens his grip on my hair a little more. "Okay, sometimes I want to hurt you." He laughs softly again and kisses the corner of my mouth. Makes me feel this infinite tenderness again. And again my body reacts differently than it should. Zaret just told me he would kill me if necessary! Damn I should be scared, but there's no panic. No paralyzing feeling. Instead, more of a kind of indulgence. He won't hit me today. Won't hurt me Zaret manages to increase my dependency through a threat. Uses the moment I'm weak to wrap his chains tighter around me. And me? I allow it. Lay your arms around my body and let Zaret tighten the iron limbs. Accept that he can immobilize me and play a game with me that I can't match. For many, it may not be understandable that despite everything, I still let Zaret get to me. Even I probably wouldn't understand it under normal circumstances. But what nobody sees is that Zaret is my only hold right now. I only have him. Xerxes is too far away. Not really available. This creates a dependency that is not good. That's clear even to me. And I still want to see Zaret suffer. I want him to feel the pain he causes me, and yet I will continue to cling to him. Will enjoy the softness and use the calm before the storm to gather strength. Until even that is not granted to me. But Zaret is the only one who can save me. The straw in the masses of water flooding me. Yes, I could try to get through it all on my own. Live or die. A principle that many pray. But I don't want to go under. i want to breathe Wants blood to keep flowing through my veins and keep me warm. And that's in Zaret's hands at the moment. So I lean towards him a bit. Show him he has me where he wants. His lips hover over mine and he moves a little closer to me. "That's good," he whispers, and with every word hot breath hits me. Seems to want to burn me. "God, you two are really getting on my nerves," Zet grumbles, grabs the charred stick and throws it in our direction. Zaret immediately lets go of me and for the first time I hear him laugh lightheartedly. Really lighthearted. There's none Intimidation in the tone. No hate. Just joy and that's really nice. He's showing me his light-hearted side right now. One that spills over to me and grins at me too. And like Zaret, it's real. While inside I break, happiness fills me it shows me that sometimes it's better to let go and face the inevitable.