33. Dread Jacob I have been dreading this day for the past week, but it’s finally here. Coco is cooped up against me in bed. She never came into my bed when I was asleep. But now, here she is… as if she can tell I am upset. This entire week was wretched. David & Sam apologized for their behavior at the party. But things are sour in the team. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting their apology. It looked half-assed, anyway. Probably, coach or West forced them to apologize. I am thankful to June for taking on David that night. Me raising hands on them first wouldn’t have ended in a good way for any of us. With the evaluation match coming up close, we cannot afford an injury. Consequently, team spirit is low right now. But I couldn’t ignore what happened. They will get around. If they don’t, it’s their loss. Although I am glad that the argument didn’t end up in some new rumor. I have seen stories stir up for no reason at old school, so I was a little concerned. But West told me he had warned the boys and assured no one from the party will talk about that fight or Natalie again. That night, I wanted to talk to Natalie so badly. I cannot even imagine how awful it must feel when such nasty things are being said about you. But then I remembered, the less I talk or think about her, the better and easier it would be for me. Last night she sent me a text asking if I was doing alright. Not sure why she asked that. But I didn’t answer. I am not supposed to talk to her for my own good. Yesterday I had a bad argument with June, as if everything going south was not enough already. She has been trying to convince me the whole week that I should ignore that message. Last night, she burst into tears while arguing. Made me feel worse. I felt frustrated when mom asked if I was sure about it. It is hard for me. Ever since we took Coco in, Mom has always given me an earful. When June became upset last night, she was considering whether we should keep Coco? But the point is… she isn’t ours to keep. Coco has a loving family, and she has to go back. I haven’t felt this upset ever since grandma passed away. Oh, Coco… What am I gonna do without you? I hug her tighter and stay in bed some more time. After a while, Coco wants to go out. I get up and get ready. My bags are already packed. Her stuff is ready too. After breakfast, we will leave. “Let’s take our last walk together, Coco.” Now when she is going away. She has been behaving very obediently. It’s almost funny. “Where was this side of yours, girl?” I ask while putting her harness on with tears glimmering in my eyes. I jog along by her side to clear my head. After running a few laps near the lake, we finally slump on a bench to catch a breath. Basically me, Coco looks fine. From the corner of my eyes, I notice Natalie approaching us. I feel a pang of pain in my chest. God! Why did I have to see her today? I came here with Coco every morning this week. We never crossed paths before. Why today? I have no strength to talk to her or even look at her face, so I get up and head home before she can reach us. 34. Coco Natalie It felt like a taste of my own medicine. I noticed Jacob a few times last week. He seemed a little off. Yesterday, it was clear he was barely holding it together. I texted him asking if he was alright. He didn’t reply. I tried to approach him this morning. He didn’t acknowledge me and walked away. I shouldn’t have ignored him like that. Now he has done the same to me. I realize how awful it feels. As I am busy fixing my dressing table, I glance at Jacob’s car parked in his driveway. I notice something peculiar. Jacob puts some luggage and a backpack in his car. He is going somewhere. Then a big bag of dog food, Some Coco’s stuff, and a dog bed? What is happening? My mind starts whirling when I notice June hugging him, then Coco. Mr. & Mrs. Miller are hugging Coco as if it’s goodbye. No No No No… Is this what I think it is? I grab my phone and wallet and run downstairs. “I am going to Ira’s today.” I declare to no one in particular and run out of the house. “Wait!” Mom calls me from behind. “I will call you... I just got a ride!” I yell back at her. As I run towards Jacob’s house, I notice his car has already left his driveway. Thank Goodness He is driving my way. Would have looked odd, me running behind his car like a madwoman with my arms waving. I wave him to stop his car and wonder what if he doesn’t stop? He pulls over and rolls his window down. “Where are you taking her?” I ask breathlessly. “Found her family. Going to drop her.” My shoulder slump. I say after a pause, “I am coming.” He sighs, “Natalie… I am going out of town. Her Family lives somewhere on a farm very far from here. I will come back tomorrow.” My throat tightens. I didn’t see her for one entire week. Met her on that stupid evening when West was here. I will never see her again. Can’t I spend some time with her? “I will take a bus or something. I am coming,” I declare and open the backseat door to sit with her. To hell with manners. I want to be with her. Jacob glances at me through the rearview mirror and starts the car. His grim expression at school makes sense now. Coco licks my face and palms for a good ten minutes. “God!! Enough with the kisses, Coco…” “So.. What is her real name?” He gives a rueful smile. “It’s Ella.” “Does she respond to it?” ”Yea she does.” “When did you find out about her family?” I ask him after a while. “On Monday…” I have so many questions. Are they good for her? Why was she left in that park out in the cold? And why didn’t they come to pick her up? But I don’t ask anything. I have forced myself on this ride. I don’t want to annoy him by asking questions or doubting his decision. So I stay quiet. “I am sorry Jacob…” I tell him after some time. He says with indifference, “Don’t bother! I am not in the mood or headspace right now.” Ouch… Rude. I know beggars don’t get to choose, but he should at least acknowledge my apology. “Do you want me to stay quiet the whole ride or I can talk?” I ask him in annoyance. He chuckles dryly, “I guess you can talk. But keep in mind I am not feeling great. So avoid justifying why you ignored me last week.“ Ok… this ride will be awkward. “I… I am… just sorry, you know,” I mumble. I want to justify myself, but there is no point. With the excuse of taking control of my life, I stopped talking to him. Ironically, it means I let West and his facade influence my decision. I can be fucking stupid sometimes. I shouldn’t have avoided him in the first place. Even if I did, I should have given him a reason. Ignoring him with no explanation was a wrong thing to do. No one deserves that. “So, how far is this place?” “Approx Three hour drive…” Why didn’t they come to pick her up? As if he reads my mind and explains, “They said they don’t have anyone to pick her up and they offered money if I drop her... Not that I want money so bad… but I thought it would be an acceptable excuse to see where she lives and see for myself if they are nice people or not.” “But Jacob, how did she end up so far?” “They said they can explain. I really hope their explanation is good enough…”, I can hear it in his voice. He is worried about her. He continues after a pause, “They sent me Coco’s videos. She looked happy, you know… in all of them. It seemed like a good place. A loving family.” I nod. “If they are willing to pay… it probably means they care for her.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought…” We stay quiet afterward. I keep my eyes outside, watching green fields pass by. Coco lies on the car seat with her head in my lap. “Did you have breakfast or something?” Jacob asks after a while. “No…” I tell him. To be honest, I was starving but didn’t want to bother him. I had taken a bath and was about to go downstairs for breakfast when I noticed him in his driveway. He sighs. “Sorry didn’t cross my mind before. I will take the next exit some diner.” “Not your fault, though. I am the one who came uninvited.” He chuckled, “Well, I am surprised, to be honest... I thought you would say goodbye to her and be done with it. That’s what anyone would have done.” “Well, ain’t I special then? ” He smiles. This time it reaches his eyes. “Did you tell someone, or did you just come?” “I did tell mom… But I will call her again when we stop for food.” He nods. Soon enough, we see a food stop and Jacob takes an exit from the highway. We leave Coco in the car with the AC turned on and look around for options. We settle for a classic McDonald’s breakfast and dine inside. “It must be hard for you.” “You have no idea.” He says, looking far out of the window. I grab his hand and give it a little squeeze to get his attention. “Wish I could do something to make it better. But it’s the right thing…” He looks at our hands connected and smiles. ”Well, at least someone thinks it’s the right thing to do. June gave me hell, you know…. been arguing with her whole freaking week.” My phone starts vibrating, and my eyes pop out. Mom calling… Shit, it’s been almost 2 hours, and I forgot to call her. “Sweetie, you didn’t call…” “Hey, Mom... Sorry, I was just about to.” “Reached there alright? Who was your ride? You run out so quickly.” “Yea, I reached more than an hour ago. Jacob had to pass through the same locality, so I took a lift from him.” Jacob looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I bite my lips in embarrassment, contemplating if I should walk out to continue the conversation. “Ohh, was he? “Yeah. Mom… Coco is going away. I mean, Jacob found her family...” “Oh, Hon… But that’s for good. You know that, right?” “Yea…” “Where is Ira? Been ages since I talked to her.” I panic and reply, “Ahh, she is in the bathroom. Taking a bath. I came in too early, you know. So she just went for a bath… yeah.” Jacob silently laughs at me, and I scowl. “Ok mom I gotta go.” “Alright hon Come back by 8” I put my phone down and he laughs louder. “I panicked. Ok!!” I defend myself. ”I can’t just tell my mom I am going out of town with a boy I barely know.” He raises his brow in surprise, laughing. He composes himself and says, “Well, you could have known me better if you hadn’t ghosted me for a week...” Then starts laughing again. His laughter is musical. I don’t feel bad, so I grin at him. “Who is Ira? I need to know where I dropped you,” he asks. But I look at his tray, wondering why isn’t this boy eating? Looking at his sheer size, his food intake is phenomenally low. “Oh, I had my breakfast this morning, saving this for Coco.” He claries and I nod. “Well Ira is my childhood friend. We went to elementary school together,” I tell him, chewing my hashbrown. “I visit her every a month or two, sometimes she visits me.” Then I tell him, we indeed passed her house an hour ago. Once I am done with breakfast, Jacob feeds Coco some sweet pancakes. Then we get back on the highway to continue our journey.