In fact, what Malio said was true - because two days later, I overheard in the Academy parking lot that he was going back to class. I wondered how this news, and also the news of his accident, could get around so quickly every time. "Have you heard?" Bekka greeted me at the well-known corner of the parking lot where Brandon always smoked. "What do you mean?" I asked skeptically at first, but then it dawned on me. Of course she meant Malio's return to the Academy. "Yeah, you can hardly get around it. Everyone's talking about it again," I said, annoyed because the rumor mill at this school was getting on my nerves - and then there were the lies that spread so mercilessly. "He's just a very popular topic." Bekka nudged her brother Brandon, "You said you wanted to stop, why are we standing here again waiting for you to finish smoking?" He took a pleasurable hit and by now it was clear to everyone that his smoking had nothing to do with writing work or having sex. "I say goodbye to the rest. With Malio's return, madness has returned to the school." Brandon said with a shrug. I chuckled softly. How true his words were. "You mean the girls who flock around him and want to lick his wounds?" Gray laughed. My giggles died down. Rather, I thought Brandon meant Malio's madness at suppressing the student body. "Exactly.", but he confirmed Gray's words with a badly played gagging sound. Bekka rolled her eyes in annoyance and glanced at her watch. "Guys, I really hate to interrupt your beautiful conversation, but could we please walk?" Gray sighed. "What is it?" I asked him. "I didn't do my homework. I guess we'll see each other in detention." That's right. I've had detention since yesterday. "You have to clean out the basement, don't you?" Brandon turned to me. I nodded, shuddering at the memory of yesterday. Mr. Shelters had pulled me out of my class that morning and delivered a huge lecture about not 'enough accountability'. He even threatened me with the principal if I skipped detention again. He dismissed my apology that I had a headache with a fit of rage. I don't give a damn if you had a headache, the flu, or a broken leg... he yelled, his face flushed. ..even if you had to carry your head under your arm, you will be in detention every day for a week! And if you don't, I'm going to get you expelled from the Academy! he'd yelled at me in the Academy corridor and I was sure everyone heard it. And after that announcement, I was really surprised that I hated Mr. - sorry, Professor Shelters - even more than I already did. He was the kind of teacher who made life hell on purpose. They excused their behavior by saying that they were preparing the charges for the hard life, but actually the real reason was that they had simply chosen the wrong job. Gray's self-pitying cry pulled me out of my thoughts, which had slowly turned into a tirade against Professor Shelters. Gray had his hands on his face and looked at me in horror. ,,The cellar? It's full of spiders!" "Yes, but at least I'm alone there. Because besides me, there are two other students who have to fetch the decorations from the attic. For some upcoming party.", I finished my sentence Over after Gray interrupted me with a desperate sigh. "The Winter Ball", it came from Bekka and a dreamy expression flitted across her face. "Winter Ball?" I looked at each one of them in turn. "It's held every year," Brandon said. "Sponsored by the Dakarias family," Gray replied sardonically. "What?" "Jolien, I'd like to tell you more about this, but we really have to go now." Bekka urged and thus ended our conversation. A ball? Was there actually an annual ball at this school? Where did I end up? "Unfortunately, Bekka is right. We'll tell you everything during the break.", Brandon crushed his cigarette and pointed to the Academy building, "Come on, I don't want to have detention as well. No offense Jolien," he quickly added. I joined in the laughter of the three and together we made the short walk to the Academy, only to wave goodbye to each other in the entrance hall. Gray and Brandon had math and had to go to the east wing of the Academy, while Bekka and I had biology and had to go to the lab that was in the basement. Gray was right in his fears, because when Bekka and I entered the lab, there was a cluster of girls around the last table - Malio and Ivan sat in the middle of this cluster and talked animatedly. "He's really back!" Bekka said, unable to suppress the joy in her voice. I gave her a skeptical look. "What is it?" she asked with a light pink touché on her cheeks. "Nothing, I just thought I heard the joy in your voice." She laughed nervously. It was a fake laugh, I noticed that immediately. "Well, he had a bad accident, I'm glad he's okay." "That's very nice of you, Bekka." Malio's quiet voice, which was now directly behind us, almost made me jump. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Bekka couldn't suppress the impulse and winced when she noticed too that he was right behind us. "Jolien, can we talk?" He addressed me directly. Malio hadn't even called in the past two days. No call. No message. Nothing. "We have classes," I said shortly, without turning to him. "But I don't see any teachers," I heard him say. With one quick movement, Malio had turned the swivel chair I was sitting in. His fingers still rested on the wood of the seat, just millimeters from my bare leg. I focused my gaze on the Erlenmeyer flask, which an eager student had already placed on his desk right behind Malio. "Okay, then don't look at me. I only need your ears anyway," he said loudly. Way too loud. I felt all eyes on us and my cheeks immediately started to glow. A fear spread through me, in front of the whole class, that he would once again humiliate me. "I'm sorry for sending you away so rudely on Monday." My head snapped around, expecting anything but a public apology from him. He grabbed my hand, and a murmur went through the group of girls, who suddenly seemed unnaturally tall. I could almost feel the sparks of jealousy shooting out of her eyes, just waiting to set me on fire. "Come with me to the winter ball!" Malio said and every other girl, every other student around us was forgotten. I only saw him. Felt his warmth slowly spreading throughout my body. Without thinking for a second and reminding myself that I was actually mad at him, I nodded. If I had known that this simple gesture, so small and delicate, almost imperceptible, had such great consequences, I probably would have pulled my hand away and stayed away from him once and for all. But in hindsight it was always easier to say I hadn't - but feelings had driven even the strongest willed people to make stupid decisions. A smile crossed Malio's lips. It was real and sincere. Heart pounding, I noticed Malio bring his face closer to mine and wondered if he wanted to kiss me right here in front of all the other students. "You can't imagine how happy that makes me. I'm really sorry I was so dismissive of you. I really want to change for you, but you have to give me time." He whispered in my ear. Words that made me forget everything again. the monday My visit. His lack of trust. Everything completely hidden in this moment. But before I could say anything, someone cleared their throat. "I'd love to start the class, so if everyone would finally take their seats and the book opens to page 38, I'd be very grateful to you!" Grinning, Malio retreated to his seat next to Ivan, who gave him an appreciative pat on the shoulder. I whirled around, now looking directly at Mr. Moulin's face again, whose brown eyes - already behind his goggles - roamed the class admonishingly. Even before he said the first word, my concentration on Mr. Moulin's monologue was gone and I was glad that Bekka listened and followed the lesson carefully and made sure that we left the lesson with a good performance. **** "So, what's up with the Winter Ball?" I asked, looking at Bekka, Brandon, and Gray in turn. We sat, as so often, at the back table of the cafeteria - far enough away from the annoying audience, but still close enough not to look like the biggest losers. It's no different from other schools. Here, too, there was a kind of invisible seating arrangement. The best located tables belonged to the most popular students and the worst tables were occupied by the inconspicuous or even unpopular students. Now that the temperatures are dropping, it wasn't just the table in front of the toilets, but also the tables in front of the courtyard door - which, unlike when I arrived, was closed, but through the narrow opening between the floor and the door frame, the biting cold drew in. Late summer had said goodbye in Silverside and now autumn had arrived in all its glory. But in addition to the brightly colored leaves, which gradually detached themselves from the branches and transformed the streets into picturesque landscapes, the first autumn chill had just rolled over Silverside. I regretted having misjudged the weather again - because now I was shivering in the cafeteria. Unlike most other girls at the Academy, I hadn't put on pantyhose to face the fall weather. "The Winter Ball takes place every year. It's an event, or rather, a self-praise anthem by the Dakarias," Gray said, sipping his sugar-free soda. I looked at him confused, not taking much from his words. "Well, you judge him out. They organize it completely." "She? You're not talking about Malio, are you?" I glanced at the table that was sitting right in the middle of the cafeteria - the elite table, if you put it that way. Malio sat in the middle of this table. To his left Ivan, to his right a boy I didn't even know. He was also tall and handsome. Olive skin, prominent face, light brown hair. I found myself wondering if pretty people automatically made pretty friends. Looking at the rest of the boys and girls at the table, it might well be possible. I thought back to Gray's words - the reason my gaze had actually wandered to the table. To him. And it was hard for me to imagine Malio sitting at the kitchen table at home, thinking about the decorations for this year's Winter Ball. "His mother." Bekka's answer drew my attention back to her. "Elena, sit down with us." She had turned to a blond girl who was standing lost between two tables. "May I?" The girl's face, which was not completely alien to me, but I couldn't place it either, brightened. "Thank you, Bekka!" She pulled the chair next to Brandon and sat down . "Jolien, this is Elena. Elena, this is Jolien." Bekka introduced us to each other. "Hello Jolien!" She said kindly. "Hey." I've always been terrible at introducing myself to new people. "So his mom is lining up the ball?" I asked Bekka. She nodded, having just taken a huge bite out of her sandwich. "Just for show," Brandon turned to me. "What do you mean?" "Well, they also donate a ton of money. That gives him his immunity." ,, Exactly! The free pass that lets him get away with anything. Without the Dakarias family, the Academy wouldn't even exist.", Gray explained. "You mean them.." "Exactly, Jolien. Maybe the paper says Gibbens is the headmaster, but the truth is, everyone knows who's in charge here, which is Malio's family. To be more specific: His father!" Gray confirmed my suspicions. There was silence around the table for a while, until I broke it with another question. "When is this ball actually?" Again I let my gaze wander over the individual faces. I returned Elena's smile, which she threw at me uncertainly when our eyes met. In some inexplicable way, I already knew that I would like her. "late November or early December. The exact date should actually be posted on the bulletin board in the entrance hall soon." When Brandon noticed my puzzled facial expression, he had to laugh, "The bulletin board next to the front door? Haven't you ever looked at it? All the important ones are there information on it." No, actually, since my arrival at Silverside Academy, I hadn't gotten too involved with notice boards, clubs, or any other activity outside of the far too long classes. I shrugged, making all four at the table laugh. "Are you guys going to the ball too?" I asked curiously. "Everyone goes to the ball!" Gray replies, laughing. "Even if you don't like Malio." Brandon said with a wink. "And that's where we come to talk about the most important topic." Bekka suddenly rejoiced. Her eyes had this shine. The shine that eyes got when you thought of something that made you happy. Her sudden euphoria made me almost scared. When I just looked at her questioningly, she said, "We have to go shopping for clothes!" Damn! Thats what I feared. I heard Gray chuckle next to me. "Don't act so surprised, Jolien." Brandon laughed and Gray also said: "Don't act like this is news you didn't already know." It's not like I hadn't thought about it myself - but I figured I could order any dress off the internet. But now that I saw Bekka's excited face, I realized that I couldn't avoid a shopping spree. "Elena, you can come too if you want!" I turned to the girl, who hadn't even joined the conversation. Elena flinched when I spoke directly to her, the sandwich slipping from her hands. "Honestly?" She looked at me in disbelief and when I nodded eagerly, a smile crossed her lips. "I'd love to!" "Oh, that sounds so fun!" Bekka cheered. "Sounds more like torture!" Gray laughed, patting my shoulder comfortingly. Judging by Bekka's cheeks burning with excitement, he was right. The bell rang for the next lesson and just before we reached the classroom for our next double art history lesson, I turned to Bekka again: "Go ahead, I have to go to the toilet." She nodded and headed for the classroom while I disappeared through the door of the toilet block (which, by the way, also looked outrageously expensive and was in no way comparable to my old school.) I wasn't even surprised when the door behind me didn't slam shut immediately. I was probably not the only one with the thought of going to the toilet again before a double lesson - because like Professor Shelters, the other teachers didn't believe in going to the toilet during class. We were old enough to do this during breaks, they always said when asked to go to the bathroom in class. They knew, of course, that many would simply use the excuse to rush around the yard and smoke a cigarette, or just use it to catch their breath for a few minutes. Just wanted to get out of the sometimes nerve-wracking lessons. I'm fixing my hair in the mirror when I heard a voice I didn't want to hear. "You little bitch" The next moment, my face was pressed against the mirror with such fury that I almost cried out in panic, but now that I recognized her voice, I said calmly, "What exactly is this going to be, Chantal?" She tightened her grip on my hair and I was almost surprised how such a petite girl could muster so much strength. "Now I'll tell you something!", She brought her face closer to my head so that I couldn't miss any of her poison-dripping words. "Leave your dirty little bitch fingers off Malio or you'll get to know me properly and wish you never got into the Academy - never moved to Silverside!" she followed. She pulled my head back. ,, Do you understand me?" Chantal hyperextended my throat with her grip and I gasped. "Fuck off!" I managed to choke out anyway. I heard her snort before she pressed my face against the mirror again. Chantal pressed her forearm into my neck and I prayed the mirror wouldn't budge. "That's...a warning, little one!" she ground out. I stifled a cry of pain - not to give her the satisfaction of victory. When the pressure on my neck finally eased and I heard the door slam shut a moment later, I clung to the sink to steady my shaking knees and not lose my footing and slam onto the tiles. I breathed against the panic, against the urge to cry. I ignored the ringing. Accepted another week of detention. I stared trembling at my counterpart. My cheek was flushed. My eyes sparkled. My lower lip trembled. I've never had problems with other classmates. Has never been attacked. Silverside had changed my life forever - in a direction I didn't like at all. I actually stayed there. In the toilet. For the remainder of the double lesson. Art history, what was that subject anyway? What was the need for that? I had no intention of becoming an antiques dealer or doing anything else related to art. In this absurd situation, the realization hit me like a spark in the deepest darkness: I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do later! I wasn't particularly good at anything - not chemistry, math, or any of the other subjects. average if anything. My future looked bright. I laughed out loud. Full of bitterness at my own sarcastic thought. Until suddenly the toilet door opened and the sound alone made me wince. Not again. But not Chantal was there in the doorway and looked at me worried, but Elena. "Everything okay?" she asked and took the crucial steps into the toilet. I waited for the door to slam shut, watching her every move in the mirror. The mirror opposite me, which compared to the others - spick and span - showed a light film of makeup where my cheek had hit the cold glass. I swallowed. Swallowed the lump in my throat. the panic. The fear. They all had to go so that the following sentences would not reveal my current emotional world. "Elena? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class? Yes, I'm fine." I forced myself to smile. It was unnatural, almost grimacing. I let it go as soon as I saw it in the mirror. I watched Elena's reaction. Her eyebrows drew together skeptically. Damn. She didn't believe me. I guess I was a really bad liar - I always thought my lies would be obvious to Malio because he was so good at debunking them, but maybe it was just that I was too bad to sell them as true. "I saw Chantal rush out the door." She pointed to the closed toilet door. I faked a laugh. Oh God. I didn't even believe that laugh, that fake laugh, myself. "It's okay." It didn't sound friendly at all, I knew that, but I didn't care - I didn't want to talk about it. "I didn't mean to... I'm sorry if you felt offended," she apologized and I immediately felt guilty. It rang. Yet again. It seemed to me that there were only seconds between the beginning of the hour and the end - when it was hours. Hours that just passed me by. Life was so fleeting. "Jolien?", I winced when I noticed that my thoughts had almost become independent again and that I was completely hiding Elena again. "Sorry. I was in my thoughts and forgot the time." A bad excuse, who forgot two lessons? "Let's go," I quickly followed before Elena considered asking more questions. She nodded silently while her brown eyes continued to rest on me worriedly. She probably had that one trait, the same as me - worrying about other people way too quickly, way too much. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed open the basement door to find it empty again. No other students who had been sentenced to detention. Thank God! After the last few lessons, I didn't feel like meeting people anymore. Bekka had thrown overboard her otherwise dutiful self-control to follow the lessons without a break and pestered me with clothes of all kinds for the last few hours. Gray and Brandon had been talking about some new computer game during the breaks and Elena had eyed me suspiciously, but hadn't made another attempt to talk about what was happening - for which I was very grateful to her. My head was already pounding, heralding a migraine attack, and if I wasn't careful now, the slight throbbing could escalate into an unbearable pounding within minutes. I rummaged in my pocket for the blister - the pills I always had with me just in case. Just as I put the bottle to my lips, the basement door opened and I almost choked on the water that was now running down my throat. "What are you doing here?" I asked, irritated. I had absolutely no desire to spend another hour crammed into a small room with him. "I'm looking forward to seeing you too!", grinned Malio and closed the door behind him. He looked at me promisingly. "What do you want here?", I repeated my question and although he was still a few steps away from me, the air was directly electrically charged and I had the feeling that he was alone, with his appearance, the oxygen from the air I had automatically taken a step back, which he commented with a raised eyebrow. "Detention," he stated the obvious, reaching for a table lamp that had been carelessly thrown onto a shelf on the wall. "The school has accumulated quite a pile of junk." He inspected the lamp in disgust, then dropped it into the box labeled Trash I had labeled earlier in the week. I relaxed a little - what did I expect? My nerves were just blank. "Everything okay?" he asked after a while. Malio was the second person that day to ask me that with a worried look on his face. He pointed to the blister I was still holding. I put it back in my pocket before I answered Malio: "Migraine pills." "You can go if you're not feeling well. I can do it alone." He pointed to the room. As tempting as his offer was, I remembered Professor Shelter's threat. Malio might not get expelled from school for skipping detention—but that privilege didn't apply to me. So I shook my head. "It's okay, it's only an hour." How long could that be? In the same room with Malio? With that unspoken attraction? With the desire for him growing by the second? Longing. Very long. I was distracting my thoughts - sorting through some old folders that were in the far corner of the room, on a high dusty shelf, when suddenly he broke the silence. "Do you think he can go?" I turned to him annoyed and laughed out loud. Malio had put a huge, straw-red sombrero on his head and looked at me expectantly. I fought back the burst of laughter, but the harder I tried to stifle it, the harder it got me. "What then? I think it suits me perfectly!" Malio turned to the left and then to the right to give me a view from all sides. I snorted again and tears were running down my face. "Y-You...should...keep...him!" I laughed. I breathed in and out a few times, trying to calm myself, but what I was sure of was this picture of Malio wearing the oversized sombrero , never to get out of my head, I didn't want to either! "I think it suits you immensely. You should always wear it. Every day.", I said, after I had calmed down again, which must have taken an eternity. But he had endured it with a grin. "Maybe I'll do that." Malio pulled the sombrero off his head and looked at him for a few seconds like he was actually considering it. I quickly took a step towards him and made the decision for him - the sombrero went into the box with the inscription Keep it. Unfortunately, as a result of this act, I broke the necessary distance I needed to keep my head clear. I felt Malio's arm brush my shoulder as he reached into the shelf above me and pulled something out to toss into one of the boxes. I spun around and found myself trapped between Regal and Malio. My breathing quickened automatically as my gaze met his blue eyes, which were now looking down at me. Unbelievable how quickly the mood in the room changed - one look was enough to replace the cheerful mood that was just in the air with something else. Attraction. It lay over us like a crushing cloud, seemed to fill the entire room in a matter of seconds. Our bodies were just millimeters apart and I fight the urge to pull his body closer to mine. Pressing my lips to his. Running my hands over his body. I noticed his chest rising and falling at an unhealthy rate - just like mine. He, too, was breathing faster. "Malio.." I whispered, completely unsure of what I actually wanted. Did I want him to overcome the few centimeters between us or should he expand them further? Did I want him to come closer or move away? "Mh?" It was a growl that came from the depths of his chest - and I knew it took just as much of him not to take the next step now. He let me decide. Again we just looked at each other. I didn't know if seconds, minutes or hours had passed when he looked down and finally said a full sentence. "Spend the evening with me." His eyes lifted again, darted across my face, waiting for a reaction, an answer. "Tonight?" "Not what you're thinking, not that I don't want it. You can't imagine the self-control it's taking me not to lean against this shelf and push yourself so hard that you screaming my name all over the Academy - but that wouldn't do you justice." "Why?" "Because you're special. But I don't want it between old stuff, dust and dirt," he whispered. I wanted to believe it. So much so. "Fine. I don't know if it's smart to you though.." "They're all gone." He interrupted me. "Who?" "My father won't be here until Friday and my mother is at a meeting." "And Harry?" "Going to the movies," Malio said promptly. "Oh yes?", only now did I realize that I was clutching the collar of his jacket. How the hell did my hands get there? "I just decided." He answered with a grin. "Okay good." Our eyes met again and I felt my grip tighten. Damn, I pulled him to me. Brought his body, his face closer to me. "Jolien..." he murmured softly. But I just ignored his admonishing tone and continued to close the distance between us. I brought him closer to me millimeter by millimeter - and he didn't resist for a second. Wanted it as much as I did. Just before our lips met, the door opened and I felt Malio pull out of my grip. Professor Sheltes looked at us skeptically. ,, Time is up. You could go!" I heard Malio cursing under his breath before he pushed past Professor Sheltes, he turned around again and said, "Tonight, 8:30 p.m. at my place." Then he disappeared through the door without another word, letting me go with him a bunch of conflicting thoughts.