I scowled at Malio, at which point he put his hands up in apology and said, "Sorry - sometimes I don't think about the things I say." "Actually, I have a feeling you never think. Neither about the things you say nor the things you do." I retorted grumpily. "I know - that's why I'm here," he replied sheepishly, nervously ruffling his dark hair. God, he always looked so good. He was wearing a white T-shirt under the black leather jacket. The tight black jeans fit perfectly, as perfectly as if they had been made especially for him. Theoretically, he could have been a model for some expensive men's brand. The fact that he was standing in front of me in this outfit could only mean that I probably wasn't the only one who skipped today. "I don't want to see you," I replied casually. Just as I was about to slam the front door in his face, he put a foot in the doorstep. "What's that supposed to be?" I asked irritably, trying to push his foot away with my unicorn slipper. ,, I am sorry! I see I've gone too far. Can you please stop that and listen to me?" he motioned to my foot, which was still pushing his out of the threshold. But no matter how much force I mustered, it didn't help because his foot wouldn't move an inch, so I finally gave up without further ado and said with a sigh: "Okay - but you only have five minutes." His expression brightened. ,,If any. Maybe you don't even have five seconds - it depends on what you have to say!" I said threateningly afterwards. His expression darkened immediately and he asked cautiously: "May I come in?" Malio ran his hand through his hair nervously again, making him look kinda cute. Like a nervous boy - not like a lunatic who played games and threw knives. Damn Jolie! Think of the feeling box and just leave the lid tightly closed! "May I?" his question pulled me out of my inner monologue. "No. You only have four minutes and (I glanced at my imaginary watch) thirty seconds by the way. So you'd better hurry up with the, what you have to say." "You're driving me crazy," he said, annoyed, but a small, much too tempting smile played around his lips. "Fine - as you like." Malio took a deep breath and said, "Jolien, it does I'm really, really sorry." "You're repeating yourself Malio! Three minutes." I said impatiently. His ice-blue eyes darted nervously over my face and I felt how difficult that was for him. Apologizing genuinely wasn't his forte, but he probably didn't do it very often either. "It's really hard for me right now, you know!" He confirmed my suspicions. "Two minutes." I heard him curse softly. For an interminably long minute, Malio said nothing at all and I thought he was going to leave it at that. Just stopped in the middle because he couldn't find the right words. "One minute." I said impatiently, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not good at apologizing because I never learned how," he finally admitted. I watched him shift nervously from one leg to the other. A picture that didn't really suit him. Somehow Malio's words saddened me and at the same time touched me because he seemed to be trying it for the first time. I gave him another minute. A little delay, because it was obviously difficult for him to put his feelings into words. "I'm really sorry for hurting you. I wanted to punish you for something I actually admire about you. Your pride, your willpower, just not bending - something I always wanted but never could." Malio paused for a moment and I saw him inhale and exhale heavily. "For years I've been told that people have to obey you and that anything else is a weakness that won't be tolerated." He took another deep breath before continuing, "And then you come along and turn my world on mercilessly Head." Our eyes met. It was just a fleeting, brief moment, yet it was enough to make my heart beat faster. "My father would thank me for this weakness that you trigger in me, for these feelings....", he broke off, leaving the sentence unfinished. I avoided Malio's gaze, because there was so much pain in his words that I feared that if I kept looking into his eyes, I would eventually give up the impulse and wrap my arms around him in comfort. "I guess my time's up," he finally said, as exhausted as if he'd just run a marathon. He paused for a moment, when I didn't reply again, he used his newfound time to say something that made my heart beat faster again: "Most of the time it's the loss that teaches us about the value of things." "You hurt me Malio. I can barely look you in the eye." "I know. I can't promise I won't hurt you again. I'm scared of it - I even know it would be better for you if you stayed away from me holding" "Sounds almost like there's another but." I whispered softly. And with every second I felt the lid of the box in which my feelings were locked open more and more. " I can not do it. You awaken a desire in me that I absolutely cannot understand." "A desire?" I looked at him questioningly. His ice blue eyes rested on mine for a few seconds. "The desire to change," he finally said so quietly that I had trouble hearing him. Unconsciously I had taken a step towards him - simply to understand him better but to my astonishment I found that he had taken a step back. Almost as if the sudden proximity unsettled him. "I don't expect you to believe me - but I'm ready to prove it to you..." "...and now, I better go," he added, gently grabbing my shoulders pushed back into the hallway. His words lingered in my head all weekend, and I wondered if he really meant it. Or was it again part of some crazy plan I didn't know about? I pulled into the Academy parking lot on Monday morning with mixed feelings. I still hadn't managed to convince my father to switch to the state school - after Malio's visit my motivation in this regard had dropped a lot. I was as nervous as on my first day. But already in the parking lot I noticed the absence of a very special car. There wasn't a black Lamborghini to be seen far and wide. I didn't know which feeling was more present, the sadness of not having the car or the relief of perhaps not meeting him - yet with feelings I was repressing about being confronted with and at risk of being hurt by him again. I hated these conflicting feelings fighting a battle inside me. Bekka, Gray and Brandon stood on the corner as usual, waiting for Brandon to finish his cigarette. "Didn't you say you only smoke at work and after sex?" I greeted him, stepping between Gray and Bekka, who were both chuckling. "I'm writing biology today," Brandon replied with a wink. "Is that right?" I asked Gray. He nodded and I noticed how pale he turned. "What's going on?" I looked at him worried. "I haven't studied - I'm so fucked up!" Bekka grabbed my arm to signal me to wait a moment. "Get ahead of the boys, see you at break!" She turned to Brandon and Gray. "Fine," I heard Gray say while Brandon just shrugged and followed his friend, who had already proceeded. "What's going on?" I asked Bekka, irritated. "I'm so glad you stayed!", the next moment Bekka pulled me into a tight hug. For a moment I was so surprised that I just stood there - then I wrapped my arms around her too and it felt so good to have someone by your side who really liked you. "You're welcome to let go of me now!" I laughed after a few seconds when it got to be too much for me - I've never been the kind of person who really liked hugs. "Sorry!" she said embarrassed, adjusting her glasses on her nose, a pink haze covering her cheeks at the words. I chuckled softly Absence, so gonna enjoy!" Bekka stopped abruptly and looked at me for a few seconds. " What is? Come on, Bekka!" I called impatiently because the doorbell had already rung. "You don't even know yet?" I heard Bekka's voice behind me, as she still made no move, even a millimeter from the spot to move. Now I too had stopped to turn impatiently to face her. " What?" Bekka hesitated for a moment, then she said something I never expected. " Malio had an accident. He is in the hospital." **** "He's what?" I grabbed Bekka's sleeve as she'd already passed me, as if she'd just told me it was going to rain tomorrow and not that Malio was in the hospital. "In the hospital," Bekka repeated impatiently, pointing to the Academy's entrance. I was well aware that we were already late, but at that moment, there was something more important than Mr. Shelte's stupid history class! Which is why I rolled my eyes annoyed and said: "I got that, Bekka. How so? What happened? Is he alright?" She looked at me confused. ,, How should I know that? I just overheard it earlier. It's going around like wildfire, but nobody really knows what happened. Some say he was in a car accident because he was drunk driving. Others say he was beaten and still others say he fell off the cliffs in his car." "I don't think so, don't worry. Then Malio wouldn't be in the hospital, but in the morgue." She quickly added when she saw my eyes widened with shock. Bekka grabbed my arm tightly: "Don't even think about it, Jolien! You go in now (again, she pointed to the entrance of the Academy) and later, you can always go to Malio." She had seen through me - because I had just really toyed with the idea of skipping history class and dropping everything , to drive to a hospital I didn't even know the exact location of. When you think about it, maybe it wasn't a good idea after all. "You're right, Bekka." I said sheepishly and, without any resistance from her, let me be pulled to the entrance of the Academy. As expected, Professor Sheltes was so upset that I was five minutes late that he promptly sent me out the door. Just me - Bekka, after a mumbled apology, was able to take her seat in the front row. I was beginning to think that Professor Shelters hated me. For an hour, I just sat in the cold hallway of the Academy. Was that even legal? However, the time I spent in the hallway was enough to make up my mind to unblock Malio's cell phone number. The worry outweighed the distrust I still harbored toward him. But what was the point of sending him a quick message? Before I knew what I was doing, I opened his chat window. Jolien: I heard what happened. I hope You are fine?! As soon as I sent the message, I already regretted it. I hope You are fine? Am I serious? I texted someone who was in the hospital for whatever, if he was okay? How stupid could you actually be? But before I could delete the message, Malio was online and had read it. Great - really great! His reply flashed on my display. Malio: You know it's kind of weird asking someone if they're okay when they're in the hospital. But I can reassure you, I was fired yesterday. Jolien: Yes, I just noticed that too. I wanted to delete the message, but unfortunately you were too quick. Malio: Actually, I'm never too fast. I smiled and shook my head as I read his allusion. Jolien: Something a woman definitely needs to know Jolien: And it's a shame you're fired, otherwise I might have visited you. Malio: You are also welcome to stop by. No problem. But something different, shouldn't you follow the wonderful sounds of Professor Shelters? I laughed quietly to myself again. To an outsider it would look gloriously daft sitting on the windowsill grinning at my phone. Certainly made a trusting impression! Jolien: Got it! I came late and can now spend the double lesson on the windowsill in front of the classroom... Malio: Bad girl! Two hours can get pretty long and mostly boring. Lucky you know someone who just happens to have time. Go out - I'll call you. I stared at his words and immediately my heart beat a little faster at the thought of hearing his voice. Damn, I really had to pull myself together! Think of what he did, think of what he did, I tried to remind myself again, which is why I'd made the decision to put my feelings toward him on hold for now. It would be better if it stayed that way! His name appeared on my display and with shaking hands I took his call. "Well you, rebel!" He greeted me with a laugh. His voice was dull, exhausted, and hoarse. "Wow, you sound really exhausted. Do you really want to make a call?" I asked worried. There was a short pause. I waited patiently for his answer. "Everything's fine - I have to stay awake anyway, in half an hour I can take the next painkillers." Malio said and I didn't miss the longing undertone in his voice. " What happened? You won't believe all the things people tell each other here. They even say you fell off a cliff!" I said quietly as I walked down the hallways and sat on the stone steps in front of the Academy. "What else do you tell each other?" he asked curiously. "You would have been driving drunk." "Anything else?" "Yes, you would have been beaten up." I heard him laugh on the other end, then he groaned loudly in pain and started coughing. "Are you okay?" I asked concerned. "Stop asking that question - besides, none of this is true - I would never drive drunk." "What happened then?" "That's not so important. I'll be fit again by next week at the latest. But you still haven't said anything about coming to visit me!" Malio said. "I have classes." I replied. "But not all day. If that influences your decision in any way, my father won't be here until Friday...", he hesitated, far too long. "from his business trip." The way he said the word business trip caught my eye. Definitely an excuse. But I should be fine. I didn't care where his father was as long as there were many miles between this man and me. I wasn't just extremely suspicious of Malio's father - he also scared me. Since Malio was with me, the negative feeling towards his father had even increased. I even thought for a moment this morning that his father had something to do with the accident. In hindsight, that struck me as a bit too violent - what father would do something like that? "Jolien?" I heard his voice on the other end, which pulled me back to the present. "Yeah, fine with me!" Shit, the words were already said before I could really think about it. "Good - but don't come today. It's best to write me beforehand - then I'll open the gate again manually from the house." I nodded, which he couldn't see, which is why I quickly breathed "okay" into the cell phone again. "I'm happy." With these words he hung up and I felt that he was really trying to let his rough, hard shell fall to me. I just didn't know if I was ready for it. After Professor Sheltes had intercepted me in the hallway after the bell had rung to tell me that I still had to do detention, I briefly thought of skipping the rest of the day - unfortunately Bekka, Brandon and Gray gave me a break through the bill. Which is why I had to endure the remaining hours in a bad mood. When the bell finally rang at 4:00 p.m., I sighed with relief and left the Academy. Finally, I could have detention tomorrow - if any of the teachers or Professor Sheltes (how it annoyed me that he insisted on his title as a professor) asked me about my disappearance, I could just pretend another migraine attack. That used to work wonderfully for my father! "Aren't you coming for coffee?" Bekka asked as I said goodbye to her, Brandon and Gray and headed towards the Academy parking lot. "No sorry - my sister called. I have to pick Amelie up. Next time I'm definitely going to be there!" I said, waving goodbye to them and then quickly making my way to my car before any of the three could ask any more questions. Because I didn't intend to wait until tomorrow - I got in my car and drove straight to Malio's. Forty minutes later I couldn't believe I was standing in front of the gate with the strange dragon crest again, waiting for someone to open it. Maybe this visit hadn't been a good idea - after all, he had specifically told me not to come by today. But since I've already been there, I had to go through with it. The gate squeaked open and I drove down the familiar road to the house. I parked my car right at the foot of the stairs leading to the huge front door, which looked so impossibly pompous on its own that I couldn't help but swallow hard. It was strange taking the main entrance where the last few times I had always walked in and out through the staff entrance. I exhaled deeply before exiting the car, climbing the stairs, and ringing the doorbell. Malio hadn't answered my message, so I had to ring the bell at the gate, which made me very uncomfortable - because I could probably forget about sneaking in unobtrusively now! I actually expected Malio to open the door for me - but he didn't. Instead, it was opened by an old man with a shock of white hair and a black suit. ,, Yes, please?" It took me a few seconds to process the sight. Was that actually a butler? Malio's family really had a butler? That was crazy! "Miss, how can I help you?" he asked kindly, his warm brown eyes darting worriedly over my face. "I'd like to go to Malio's - I'll bring him his homework!" I added quickly, afraid the old man would think I was one of Malio's easy girls. "Oh, that will surely please him. He hasn't had any visitors yet," the man said, waving me inside. Again I felt sorry for Malio. He always seemed so popular to me (at least in the women's world) and now nobody had actually come to see him? "He's upstairs in his room. I'd be happy to take you there," said the old man kindly. I tried to sneak a peek around the foyer, which I only remembered as drunk, dancing, or bullying teenagers. Without these disturbing factors, it was just beautiful. The marble gleamed and the furnishings were a brilliant gold. Apparently the Dakarias family had a thing for gold. Although it wasn't my style at all, the sight took my breath away for a moment and I wondered just how much money this family had. The man pointed to a huge gilded staircase that led to the upper floors. How many floors do you think this house had? It was definitely more than two! Malio's room was on the first floor. However, it was empty. I saw the old man's forehead wrinkle in concern. "Is there a problem?" I asked cautiously. "Well, he's not here," he said bluntly, looking left and right, concerned. "Harry?" came Malios in agreement from one of the other rooms - it was exactly the opposite one and the door was ajar. "Malio, you're supposed to stay in bed!" I heard the man (who was probably called Harry) say as he opened the ajar door. I tried to peer into the room, but Harry was blocking my view. "It's okay, you can go," I heard Malio say politely - which kind of surprised me. I had expected him to treat him as pejoratively as he does everyone anyway - especially because it's Harry was an employee, but instead I felt an unspoken bond between the two. Harry hesitated, but then turned on his heel and looked at me for a second. Inconspicuously, he bowed his head and said, "Please make him stop drinking." Horrified, I rushed into the room and saw Malio sitting in a wide, blue armchair. In his hand he held a whiskey bottle. "What are you doing?" I asked shocked. "What are you doing here? What was under don't come by today, I don't understand?" He asked irritably. "What are you doing, Malio?" I repeated my question without even thinking about giving him an answer to his. I heard him sigh in annoyance. "I'm drinking, can't you see that?" " Are you stupid? You take painkillers! Shouldn't I come for that?" I asked him indignantly. I had crossed the room in a few steps to take the bottle from Malio's hand, but I stopped halfway because he said: "What do you care ?" "Malio!" "What?" , he asked challengingly. "It's dangerous what you're doing!" I looked at the bottle, which he now put to his lips again. "So what? Who cares if I'm dead," he said, taking a sip from it. "Malio! Stop it!" He laughed out loud. "I'll be fine, thanks." "Stop drinking!" I said firmly. Something sparkled in his weary eyes. ,, Why should I? What do I get for it, besides pain and this stupid reality," he said bitterly. "Because I don't want anything to happen to you!" I said upset and took a small step towards him. "What do I have to do to make you stop drinking?" The extent of this question struck me far too late on. A grin spread across Malio's lips. "That's a daring question, Jolien!" "Maybe I'm braver today because I was afraid something bad might have happened to you," I said softly. A crooked smile, his crooked smile played on his lips as he reached for the remote control that was on the small, gold side table next to him. The overhead light went out and the only sources of light now came from the display case containing the spirits, which I didn't want to worry about the value of, and the LED lights mounted behind the huge television - resulting in the entire room being transformed into one bathed in erotic red. "You want to know what I want? Dance for me Jolien." Malio said while slowly bringing the whiskey bottle to his mouth. He couldn't be serious, could he? I felt myself getting hot at the thought of dancing in front of him, but at the same time I found it arousing. A melodic song came out of the speakers, the black system, without any singing. I was sure that I would never forget this melody again. Malio just kept looking at me. Waited for me to start dancing He actually meant it. And to my own amazement, I began to move to the rhythm of the melody. It was just a little dancing, I reassured myself, although I knew that my decision to move to the sound of the music here clearly depended on Malio - because even if it had never occurred to me - but at that moment I just wanted to please him. I went with it, whirling on my own axis and swinging my hips back and forth. All under the blazing eyes of Malio, who now leaned back in the armchair with relish. "Get undressed.", I heard his hoarse voice. Automatically I grabbed the button of my blazer. Damn it, what was I doing here? I slowly unbuttoned the blazer and I noticed how Malio slipped around in the chair for a moment, only to let himself slide into the depths of the chair even more spread-legged. I slipped the blazer off my shoulders and carelessly dropped it on the floor. As if automatically, my hands went to the buttons of the white blouse and I also began to unbutton them. Eventually the blouse landed on the floor next to me. For a moment his eyes rested on the fabric lying on the blue Persian rug, then his eyes darted slowly over my half-naked body. I didn't know how to get rid of a skirt in a sexy way, but I seemed to be doing everything right because Malio gasped as I stood in front of him in just black lace underwear. "Come here!" he whispered. I clearly heard the need in his voice. I slowly walked up to him and, without thinking, sat down on his lap. It took me a moment to position myself correctly on him without my knees hitting the backrest. "Move," he said harshly and I started rotating my hips. A gasp escaped Malio's lips. The whiskey bottle clattered to the floor and the amber liquid spread unstoppably on the blue carpet. "Shit!" I got up slightly, stretched across the arm of the chair and grabbed the bottle as Malio pulled me back. "Fuck the bottle!" He said in a deep voice. I looked into his ice-blue eyes, in which an irrepressible fire blazed. He roughly gripped my bottom and said, "Slow down," as I started moving onto his lap again. I immediately matched his pace, and even though the fabric of his sweatpants and my panties were still between us, I felt I press his hardness against my core with an unbelievable intensity. I bit my lip and tilted my head back. He slowly increased the pace and I supported myself on the left and right, next to his head, on the backrest of the chair. "Malio!" I moaned. I also heard him groan deeply when I increased the tempo even further on my own. His breathing quickened and his grip on my butt tightened. Suddenly he gasped in pain as my hands ran down his chest. "Everything okay?" I asked immediately. Malio nodded and, breathing heavily, laid his head on the headrest of the armchair. "Look at me," I suddenly heard myself say. For a moment I thought he wasn't going to respond to my command, but finally he lowered his gaze to meet my eyes. The friction, Malio's intensely transfigured gaze and the excitement of never having done anything like this before brought me into a real ecstasy. "Come on Jolie. Groan, let yourself go," he said hoarsely - and I did. A loud moan escaped my lips and I felt my climax getting closer and closer. Malio's breathing, which was getting faster and faster, also indicated that he wouldn't need much longer. "You look so hot when you're horny!" he gasped. I clung to the fabric of the chair at the risk of ruining a $1,000.00 chair. A violent orgasm swept over me and I didn't know what intensified it - the friction, the constant eye contact with Malio, or both together. He pressed firmly into my bottom while he came under me, moaning. He gasped again and his face contorted in pain as I laid my head on his chest and breathed heavily. Malio grabbed a blanket and carefully draped it over my shoulders. We stayed like that for a while, then finally he said through clenched teeth, "Could you please stand up?" Was he serious? should I go now? Disappointed, I scrambled off his lap and was about to turn away when he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. "You shouldn't go, just get up!" He paused, took a few deep breaths, and clutched his chest again. "You lay on my gunshot wound."