Chapter 6 'I'm sorry?' I splutter. I'm completely taken aback by Alyssa's words. How do I take them? My first instinct is to recoil, the basic breakdown of the words seeming like a threat. But there's nothing in her tone that suggests I should be chasing the officers and begging them to take me back to Lilydale. As if sensing my internal panic, she smiles softly. 'July thirteenth and February first. Do those dates ring a bell?' My brows furrow as I sink back into the pillow. Should they ring a bell? Most of the time I can't even remember what I did last week, let alone months or a year ago. But somehow, my subconscious knows. Our minds hold onto trauma and knowledge without us realizing. It embeds itself into our existence. My hand circles to my back, touching the scar in the middle of my spine. Alyssa nods. 'I was one of the nurses that assisted during your surgery to remove glass shards from your back. I was also working in the ER when you presented with a broken nose one evening.' Our eyes lock, mine wide with uneasiness. She's given me no reason to be on edge, but the reminder of my old life before Lilydale hits me hard like an avalanche. 'How do you remember?' I murmur quietly. 'You would surely see hundreds, if not, thousands of patients.' 'You're quite remarkable, Avery. Besides, most people don't present to the hospital for injuries such as yours-let alone multiple times.' I offer a dry, awkward smile. 'I'm locked up now.' It's a weird addition to the conversation, my attempt at the world's unfunniest joke. But her words and presence make me feel like I'm worthy of attention, like she wants to hear my story and what became of me. After all, we're just victims. Nothing more, nothing less. Despite people like Arthur Whittingham trying to condition us to believe otherwise, the truth is we were failed. Let down and given up on. Don't get me wrong; I still did bad, unspeakable things. But if the past few months have taught me anything, it's that I need to stop blaming myself. And I have. While there's still a tiny voice that lives in my brain, revisiting the guilt and what-ifs, I know better now. Alyssa is one of the first people I've come across who actually sees me as a human being. It's because of that, that I feel the need to tell her what my outcome was. 'Lilydale,' she confirms, glancing down at what I now deduce is my file. 'I'm glad you didn't go to prison. You didn't deserve it.' 'You don't know the things I did,' I point out half-heartedly. 'To be fair, I nearly ended up there.' Alyssa visibly grimaces. 'I wasn't on duty that night,' she tells me softly. 'But the next morning, my colleagues filled me in on the girl who was brought in from a house fire. When one of them mentioned your first name during a debriefing, it didn't take much to put the pieces together. I knew right then and there that there was more to the story.' My heart beats strangely in my chest. For the first time, someone on the outside of Lilydale is looking at the old me... without judgment. Truly seeing me as the walking cry for help I was. Too bad that girl is dead now. But I have no regrets. Lilydale saved me. Not in the way the welcome brochure promised, but the people inside, the ones who speak to the darkest parts of me-they did. They saw me as everything. Not the victim, not the familial killer, not the girl with mental illness... they saw what was inside and dug out the potential-the real me that had never had an opportunity to flourish. 'There was more to the story. But no one realized until it was too late,' I say firmly. 'That's okay though. Maybe everything happens for a reason. I think I'm exactly where I needed to be.' I state it with such weight and force, that it makes her pause for a moment, letting the words sink in. Finally, she closes the file, placing it on one of those overbed tables that wheel around the bed. 'I always knew you were strong,' she remarks. 'And if it helps, even in the tiniest bit, I did actually raise your case with my charge nurse and suggest they contact the appropriate authorities to investigate. We suspected abuse but the system is just so overwhelmed...' Trailing off, guilt appears in her eyes. An invisible hand clutches around my heart at her own blame-because there's no way in the world she'd ever be able to stop or protect me from the monster I lived with. No one could. 'Alyssa,' I say gently. 'We both did the best we could. And that's okay. I'm okay.' She nods, letting out a sigh. 'I suppose we should get back to the matter at hand. Are you injured from what occurred today?' Suddenly, I don't feel the need to lie or make up some bullshit injury. Instead, I just shake my head. 'No. But my husband is. He's here somewhere.' Surprise crosses her face at that, and to be fair, I think my expression matches hers too. Saying the words out loud still feels weird-a good weird though. I think. 'Your husband?' she repeats. 'What's his name?' I swallow, reality hitting me in the face at full force again at our conversation. 'Damon.' Pausing, I internally sneer as his surname hangs on the tip of my tongue, an unpleasant reminder of Alexander and the fact he's the fucking reason that Damon is hurt. 'It's Damon Emerson Alexander Dale. His late mother is actually the reason Lilydale exists.' Not entirely sure if I should be revealing such personal information, but at this rate, my desire to protect Alexander is as low as humanly possible. Fuck him with a cactus and one of Grey's shivs. He's the reason Lily is dead, and he is the reason Damon is in this hospital right now, fighting for his life. Alyssa pokes her head out through the curtains. 'I'll go check for you,' she says quietly. 'No one should bother you. I'll just be a minute.' I watch as she disappears behind the pale, patterned curtain. Around me, the old familiar sound of hospital noises ground me. Machines beeping, feet shuffling on floors, doctors and nurses talking. It doesn't hurt or frighten me as much as I thought it would. I used to be terrified to come here, the fear that Dad would punish me for it. I guess his death brought me a freedom I didn't expect. The hospital used to be such a triggering place for me. Always here for the wrong reasons, ignored and having to be treated like a number in an overwhelmed, under-supported system. Just needing to get the patients in and out as quickly as possible, the staff fighting to survive-just like us. Maybe others like Alyssa did want to save me... They just couldn't. As I wait, my mind drifts back to Damon. It helps knowing that he's nearby, somewhere in this building. I feel strangely at peace knowing both of us are away from Lilydale temporarily. They can't hurt us here. Damon... I need him to be okay. I can't lose him when I've only just gotten my chance with him. Marriage was never something on the cards for me but I'm happy to take it. But being a widow? I'm not willing to accept that. Damon deserves happiness. I deserve happiness. We all do. After a few minutes, Alyssa reappears, acting very much like a spy on a mission. Her body is hunched, eyes darting around, and suddenly it feels like we're in a B-grade James Bond movie. 'Okay, I found him. He's in surgery at the moment.' 'Is he okay?' I ask urgently, shooting up from the pillow. 'Is he alive?' Slipping into the room, she sits next to me, and I notice she's now holding an iPad. 'The main concern was hypovolemic shock.' Pausing, she clarifies, 'Severe blood loss.' 'I figured...' I whisper in horror. She skims over the screen, flicking the page down with her index finger. 'The surgeons are working on him but it appears there was no damage to vital organs. They are transfusing him with saline and blood products while repairing the wound.' 'Will he be okay?' I ask warily, holding my breath for her answer. Alyssa looks up, giving me a tight smile. 'I'm not a doctor so take everything I say with a grain of salt. They haven't put any operative notes in yet since he's still in surgery, but initial imaging suggests no major organs were hit. As long as they can stop the bleeding, he should be fine, sweetheart.' It's not the definite yes I was hoping for, but it's something at least. It gives me hope to cling on to. 'And what about me?' I ask quietly. 'Will you need to send me back straight away since I'm not hurt?' She frowns, pulling my paper file back to her lap. I guess they have updated their systems since my last visit. 'What do you mean, Avery? My notes right here say that you are being treated for shock and bruising. You'll be here until tomorrow for observation.' Standing up, she gives me a wink, taking the folder and iPad with her. Holding the curtain, she smiles at me again. 'And since you are married, it means you'll be able to see your husband when he's out from surgery. I'm going to go find you some food, then we'll take a look in case there's any other injuries we need to tend to. I'm sure you'd love a shower too.' According to the doctor who comes to see me a few hours later, Damon is okay. Lucky-but okay. It feels like I was holding my breath the entire time, not relaxing at all until I heard those words. They mentioned I can see him soon once he's out of recovery, but for now, Alyssa has taken it upon herself to bring me all the food the hospital has to offer. Previously, I was strictly against hospital food. But, Cirque des Morts food aside, this is a damn sight better than the raw garbage they serve us at Lilydale on a day to day basis. No offense to Tony and the kitchen staff... It's as if my appetite has returned full force once I got the news that Damon was alive and safe. I've managed to inhale everything Alyssa has brought to my little room-Jello cups, sandwiches, roast beef and vegetables. Hell, even the questionable looking stew went down like a lead balloon. Even better was Alyssa casually telling me that because we're still patients of Lilydale, it means they have to cover our hospital bills. Suck on that Alexander and Whitface. My temporary newfound freedom is strange. I've been given permission to wander a little in the ward. There's not much to do other than go to the restrooms, watch the grainy TV or visit the nurses' station-which I do a few times to chat to Alyssa while I wait-but walking around like a normal person is something I'm enjoying. It's amazing the things we take for granted... like freedom and autonomy. I decide to take a second shower for the hell of it. Before I stuffed myself full of food, I took a quick one to get rid of the blood and dirt from my skin, and changed into fresh clothes courtesy of Alyssa. But at the time, the need for Damon's survival weighed heavily on my mind and I was on autopilot, not able to enjoy the unusual luxury. Breathing easier now, I take full advantage of it, washing my long hair thoroughly and lathering myself with lemon scented soap without timers and lurking guards. When I emerge into the hallway, hair damp and freshly braided, I stop dead in my tracks at the figure by the nurses' station. Unfortunately, he spots me at the same time, a smug smirk crossing his face. 'Avery,' Alexander greets, turning away from a tight-lipped Alyssa. 'How lovely to see you.' My first instinct is to run-far away-but instead, I walk over with my head high, determined to look this asshole in the face. He doesn't deserve my fear, and he sure as hell isn't going to get my tears. 'What are you doing here?' I ask, annoyed. 'And don't tell me it's to make sure Damon's okay because we both know that's bullshit since you're the one who pulled the fucking trigger.' Out of the corner of my eye, Alyssa watches our exchange with suspicion. But judging by her expression, she already knows who he is and has made her own calculated assumption. Protect Damon, Alyssa... Please. Don't let Alexander near him. 'As the Chairman, it's my duty to ensure all members are looked after-including my new daughter-in-law.' His words leave a sickening taste in my mouth, like charcoal ash coating my tongue. Being married to Damon is one thing, but legally tied to this evil asshole? That's a whole issue in itself. But I love Damon, just like my guys love me despite having had a useless, pathetic father too. 'I assure you our relationship,' I gesture between us. 'Is on paper only. I want nothing to do with you.' Alexander cocks an eyebrow, dropping the charade. 'The feeling is very much mutual. But we'll be spending plenty of time together, dear Avery. After all, being a shareholder means you have responsibilities to me. And if Damon is incapacitated, you'll have to step up in his place as his... wife,' he says, spitting out the word in disgust. 'The only responsibilities I have,' I scoff. 'Are to Damon-which I thoroughly enjoy. But rest assured, Damon and I will take great care of our business. I doubt you'll be involved much longer.' He takes a step toward me, and immediately, Alyssa jumps up from her seat, coming around from the side of the desk to place herself in front of me. 'Mr. Dale, as I have already mentioned, you are not an approved visitor-regardless of your threats. You need to leave now before I contact security and have you escorted from the building.' Narrowing his eyes on her, I grab her arm and pull her back, taking her place in his line of fire. 'You heard her,' I say darkly, interjecting before he can speak. 'Fuck off and don't come back. You're not welcome here or anywhere else where it concerns Damon.' Alexander straightens up, adjusting his tie with a tilted forced smile. 'I will be seeing you soon, Avery. Damon, as well.' We watch as he turns and heads toward the exit without a backward glance. Once out of sight, Alyssa puts her hand on my back. 'Well... isn't he a bundle of sunshine? Come on, sweetheart. I just got word that your husband is out of recovery and has been placed in a room. I'll take you to see him.'