She still smells like all my memories , dreams , fantasies , and regrets all rolled into one . Layla Kincaid was my best friend since we were three years old till we abruptly moved away at age 11. In those eight years , she became my best friend , safe haven , and first - ever love . Mom and I had just moved into the house next door to hers and I was playing in the backyard while mom unpacked all our boxes . The sound of tinkling bells sounded and in my childlike mind , my first thought was that Father Christmas came early this year . I sprinted over to the fence , but it was too high up . Not ready to give up on seeing Santa , I looked around for something to stand on . I spotted an old abandoned cast - iron chair closer to the house , dragged it closer to the spot I heard the noise coming from , and climbed on , at last tall enough to peek over the fence . What I saw was not Santa but a pretty girl with dark brown pigtails and a flowy pink dress on . She had the brightest smile on her face and the tinkling sound came from her laughing at the bubbles her dad was blowing up into the air . I stood there , mesmerized . Not just because I was envious of the time her dad was spending with her , but because she had this happy and carefree demeanor about her . I wanted to capture it and bottle it up for myself . The next day her mom came over with a casserole to welcome us to the neighborhood . She was hiding behind her mom's skirt but the moment our eyes met , things just clicked between us . We were inseparable from there on out . During the day when mom went to work at the diner , I went to the same daycare as her . Her mom picked us up afterwards and I had dinner with them most nights . Mom . worked double shifts most of the time to make ends meet but the Kincaids didn't seem to mind having another small mouth around that needed to be fed . When it became time for us to go to kindergarten , we enrolled in the same school and were placed in the same class . We sat next to each other in class , played together during recess , and took the bus home together . We camped in the backyard in the summer and built forts in the living room in the winter . We baked chocolate chip cookies on the weekends and did chores together during the week . Homework was a breeze . I helped her with math and science , and she helped me with English and art . Science projects were a combined effort and we always made the top 3 . - When she was 9 and Zoey Robbins spilled Kool - Aid down her back , I placed a frog in Zoey's backpack with a note that said if she bullied Layla again , it would be a snake next time she never came near Layla again . When I was 10 and Mason Monroe pushed me from the swings on the playground one day , Layla was the one to give him a nice shiner - he never bothered me again . 1/3 8:04 pmSDD Chapter 17 : AJ POV Then things started to change at home . Mom lost her job due to the restaurant closing . As a single mom with no college education , she struggled to find something that paid well enough . She started going out at night , asking the Kincaids if I could sleep over at their house . When she got back in the mornings , she reeked of alcohol and her hair was all messy . In my naïve child's mind , she was waitressing again but somewhere that stayed open 24 hours and sold alcohol . It wasn't long after that , that strange men started showing up at the house . Mom would shoo me over to Layla's house , lock the front door , and pull the curtains so I couldn't peek through the windows . There was a steady stream of guys , all different ages but with one distinct commonality . They were all greasy , slimy , and sleazy . When they looked at me , my skin crawled . Through all this , Layla's parents were saints . They kept me fed , made up the guest room for me , and I even went to visit Layla's Nan with her over the summer holidays . Then Stephen started showing up and the other men disappeared . His flashy car was in the driveway constantly , Mom was always tired and numerous bruises started showing up on her body . Initially , she told me she fell because she drank a little too much . But it wasn't too long before Stephen started getting brazen and would hit her in front of me . Back then I was short and skinny , and a large gust of wind had the potential to blow me over . I had no chance of standing up to him , of protecting my mom . Something that still haunts me to this day . Mom kept getting weaker , slept longer , drank more , and eventually needles started appearing around the house . I originally thought she was sick like Joanne from school's mom who had to inject herself with insulin for her diabetes . But after a little bit of research , I soon realized that Stephen had gotten Mom hooked on drugs - heroin to be exact . It didn't take long for Mom to become a shell of her old self . Her eyes were sunken in , she didn't eat so she basically had no muscle mass , and her skin was red and raw from scratching at it the whole time . We had no one I could turn to for help - I never knew my dad and Mom's parents passed away when she was in her teens . I just had Layla . She held me when I struggled to fall asleep , she distracted me when the violent noises from next door became too much , and she listened when I just needed to vent . She was the lifeline that kept me tethered to reality , refusing to let me give up even when things seemed dismal . One blistering winter night , we arrived home from the school's winter recital , hopped up on hot chocolate , and laughing at all the performances of the evening that were just plain ridiculous . Layla was the first to 2/3 Chapter 17 : AJ POV see the red and blue lights and my gut immediately told me that my life would never be the same again . Mrs. Kincaid ushered us into their house and Mr. Kincaid went to speak to the officers standing in my front yard - grim looks on their faces . Layla and I kept peeking through the living room window at them , hoping to see my mom stepping out of the house . When Mr. Kincaid came back inside , he sat us down on the couch and broke the news to me that Mom had overdosed earlier that evening . Stephen found her , called 911 , then packed his shit and left . The following day I was pulled from school by the social worker , a bag of my essentials was already in the back of the car , and I was whisked away to become a ward of the state - effectively dumping me in the foster system . I didn't even get to say goodbye to Layla . But here she was , in my arms , all grown up . Smelling like strawberries and something sweet . Her lush curves wrapped around me , holding on to me as if her life depended on it . Something inside me stirred , something I thought was dead a long time ago . Something that , the last time I felt is , was when Layla was in my vicinity . But this time , it was more intense , more life - altering , and dare I say it , more arousing . Chapter Comments 10