Chapter 5 The next few days after I " died " didn't feel like anything at all . I wasn't dreaming . I wasn't thinking . I wasn't floating or reaching for light or any of that spiritual crap people talk about when they cheat death . There was just ... nothing . Black . Still . Heavy . And then pain . Real pain. Pain like my ribs were cracked open and every breath was being ripped out of me with a hook . I couldn't scream . Couldn't move . I wasn't even sure if I was alive . Turns out , I barely was . - They told me later - once I could process full sentences again - that something went wrong after the surgery . Maybe it was the stress . Maybe it was my body giving out for real this time . But right after Sam and Lothario got me out of the hospital and into the underground clinic , my heart stopped again . Flatline . And not the staged kind . The real kind . Sam had to defibrillate me . Twice . Broke my ribs doing it . Lothario said he nearly threw a chair through a wall when the monitors screamed again . " She flatlined , " Sam told him . " Real this time . She's crashing- " Then silence . Panic . Wires everywhere . They brought me back , somehow . But not all the way . I slipped into a coma . Not faking . Not hiding . Just ... gone . The clinic they brought me to was hidden beneath a sleek , state - of - the - art medical center , all glass and steel , humming quietly with power . The walls gleamed white , too clean , almost sterile , and the ceiling lights pulsed softly like a heartbeat . There was one bed . One lamp that adjusted its glow with my vitals . A digital clock on the wall that blinked , like time itself had flatlined . The air Darling , I Remember 1/4 90 % 7:01 Mon , Sep 15 71 smelled of ozone and antiseptic - like someone tried to cleanse trauma with technology . Lothario stayed . Every day . He didn't leave my side . Sam begged him to go rest , to shower , to eat something that didn't come out of a sealed nutrition pack . Lothario just shook his head and said , " She might wake up . I need to be here when she does . " Sometimes , I could hear them . Distant , like underwater echoes . " She's fighting . Her vitals are weak , but stable ," Sam would say , voice low . Then Lothario's rough whisper , close to my ear . " You always were stubborn . " He would talk to me like I was listening . Maybe some part of me was . " I shouldn't have let you go , " he said once . His voice cracked when he said it . " I should've fought harder . Should've taken you and run when we had the chance . " There was this one memory that kept replaying in the back of my mind , like a movie loop I couldn't turn off . Me and Lothario , on the roof of his apartment building . I was sixteen . He was seventeen . We were wrapped in his jacket because I'd snuck out of my house without one . The city lights below us looked like stars that had given up and fallen . " I want to marry you someday , " I told him . My voice was shaking because I meant it . " I want out of all this . The family , the blood deals , the cold stares . " He kissed my forehead and said , " Then we'll run . Just say the word ." But I never said it . My father found out . They dragged me home the next morning . Broke my phone . Changed my school . Had his family threatened . I remember Matteo standing in the hallway , calm and cruel . " If you ever see Lothario again , we'll ruin him , " he said . " His parents . His sister . Everyone . You're a Rossi . Act like it ." Chapter 5 214 06 7:01 Mon , Sep 15 I didn't see him again after that . Until now . Lothario would hold my hand when he thought Sam wasn't watching . I felt it once . Barely there . Like a ghost brushing skin . He'd whisper while I was sleeping . " You were my whole world . You still are . I should've never let them take you . " And then quieter , almost like he didn't want me to hear : " I love you . I never stopped . " I don't know how long I was out . Days . Weeks maybe . But something inside me ... clung to his voice . That warmth . That regret . That love . That was the only thing pulling me back . And maybe that's why , when my eyes finally fluttered open and the world came into blurry focus - dim lights , peeling ceilings , Lothario passed out in a chair beside me - I whispered the first word that came to mind . Not " help ." Not " water ." Just ... " You . " Then I'm gasping . No , not gasping - choking . Like my lungs had forgotten what air was supposed to taste like . There was a mask strapped over my face , tubes down my throat , wires in my arms . I couldn't move . I couldn't even scream . My body felt ... foreign . Like I was wearing skin that didn't belong to me anymore . I tried to sit up , and that's when the fire hit . My back . My legs . My stomach . Everything burned like I was being cooked from the inside out . I don't know how long I thrashed before someone ran in . " Vanna - stop , stop . It's okay . You're okay , " Lothario's voice . Close . Desperate . " Breathe . Just breathe , baby , breathe . " Chapter 5 3/4 10.1 % 7:01 Mon , Sep 15 71 He yanked the oxygen mask off and cradled my face . His hands were shaking . I saw his eyes before anything else . Red - rimmed . Glassy . Exhausted . " Lothario ... ? " My voice cracked like glass . It hurt just to say his name . He let out this sound half - laugh , half - sob and dropped to his knees beside the bed . " You're awake ," he whispered , like he couldn't believe it . " You're really awake . " I tried to speak again , but no sound came out . My throat was too dry . My lips were cracked . He caught my hand in both of his . Kissed my knuckles . " You were gone for a year , Vanna , " he said quietly . " And I stayed because I had nowhere else to go ... except back to you . " A year ? The word didn't even land properly . It just hovered , unreal . When Sam came in , he almost dropped the tray he was carrying . " No freaking way , " he muttered , blinking hard . " She's actually - holy shit . Her vitals are climbing . Pulse is strong . Jesus Christ , I thought you'd be a vegetable forever . " Lothario glared . " Watch your mouth . " " Sorry , " Sam mumbled . " Welcome back , Ivanna . " I didn't say anything . I couldn't . Not until they helped me sit up a little . Sam held the IVs in place , and Lothario slid an arm behind my back to lift me . The room spun . My neck couldn't even hold up my head . But then I saw it . A mirror . Leaning against the far wall . I caught my reflection and froze . Chapter 5 Discover our latest featured short drama reel. Watch now and enjoy the story!