Chapter 22 The sleep I got wasn't real sleep. It wasn't deep, and my brain couldn't fully shut off. I kept waking up, staring into the dark, too aware of Dash's arms around me. He didn't loosen his grip once. He held onto me like I was going to disappear if he let go. I didn't have the energy to move even if I wanted to. But the urge to get up, to talk to Dad, was still in me. It had been sitting in my chest since last night. I'd hoped the feeling would wear off by morning, that maybe things would make more sense after some rest, but they didn't. I still felt the same. I still needed to tell him. It's not that I wanted to. I didn't want to ruin everything. I didn't want to tear the family apart. I didn't want to see the looks on their faces when they realized what I'd done. But none of that outweighed the fact that I couldn't live with this in my head anymore. After more hours of not being able to sleep, I finally got up. I did it slowly to not wake him. I gently moved Dash's arm off my waist and slipped out from under the blanket without making a sound. He stirred a little but didn't wake up. His face was soft, looking so peaceful. I hated that I'd soon mess with that peace. I stood up and walked toward the door, as quiet as I possibly could. My whole body was tense, but I had set my mind to something, and I was going to go through with it. Once I was out in the hallway, I tried to breathe normally, but I couldn't. My heart was already racing. Dad's room was down the hallway. I had planned to go straight there. Just knock on the door, say I needed to talk, and get it over with before I lost my nerve. But as I started moving, Rhys's door creaked open, and he stepped out into the hallway. I froze, and my mouth went dry. My heart suddenly wasn't beating anymore. His hair was messy, his face tired, but he looked like he had been awake for a while. He scanned my face and took a small step toward me. "How are you feeling, sweet girl?" he asked quietly. His voice was soft. He was being genuine, and he truly wanted to know how I was. I hesitated. "Fine," I said quickly, pressing my lips together. He tilted his head slightly. "Are you sure?" "No," I admitted. He nodded like he understood. "Did Dash talk to you last night?" "Yeah." "Did it help?" I didn't know how to answer that. I nodded again, but it wasn't the full truth. Maybe it helped in the moment. Maybe it made me feel safe. But it didn't stop the need inside me to confess. Rhys must've sensed that. He frowned and looked like he was thinking through what to say next. "Do you need anything? You want to talk to me?" I shook my head. "No, thank you. I just...I need to go to Dad." His eyebrows pulled together. "He's probably still asleep. Don't wake him up. He'll be pissed." "I know," I said. "But I have to talk to him." He stepped forward again. "Can't it wait?" "No." My voice was firmer this time. "Bliss, I'm sure whatever you need, I can help you with, too. Don't drag Dad into this. Not this early in the morning." "Lissy." Dash's voice came from behind me. Shit...he had woken up. His hand found my wrist and tugged gently. "Come back to bed." I turned to look at him. He looked so tired. I had already put him through enough in the last twenty-four hours. God, I had put everyone in a difficult position, and now I wanted to make it worse. He knew exactly what I wanted to do, and I could feel how badly he didn't want me to do it. I pulled my hand away. "I don't want to go back to bed." "What the fuck is going on?" Rhys said, looking between us, his voice sharper now. "I'm going to tell Dad what happened last night." Dash's hand closed around mine again. "Lissy, please. Come back." I snapped. My voice cracked as I raised it. "No! I don't want to go back to bed! I want to tell Dad!" Rhys ran a hand through his hair, eyes wide with alarm. "Shit. Okay, Lissy. Look at me." He stepped close and placed one hand on the back of my head, guiding my gaze up to meet his. His eyes were serious. He was silently begging. Rhys never begged. "I know it feels heavy. But you can't tell anyone. Not this. You hear me?" "I need to." He sighed hard, then put his forehead against mine. His hands moved to the sides of my face. His thumbs were shaking a little. "Listen to me. You can't tell him. Please." "I need to!" I said again. I wasn't shouting, but my voice was loud. There was pressure building in my chest, and the more I held it in, the more it hurt. And I needed it to stop hurting. "I feel disgusting. I can't breathe. I can't keep pretending everything's okay. It's not. It's really not." "Rhys," Dash said with a sigh, trying to calm things down. "Let her." That surprised me. "Let her?" Rhys turned to him. "Are you insane? Do you know what he'll do to us? Do you have any idea what we're risking?" Dash opened his mouth, but he didn't get to answer. Because Dad's bedroom door opened behind me. We all froze. He stood there, in sweatpants and a T-shirt, clearly pissed off. His hair was sticking up, and his face was hardened with sleep and irritation. "Someone want to tell me why the hell you're yelling outside my door at six in the goddamn morning?" No one said anything. He looked at each of us, then settled his gaze on me. The way his eyes scanned my face was unsettling. His tone changed. "You've been crying." I nodded. No point in denying it. "Why?" "Nothing," Rhys answered. "It's been dealt with." Dad ignored him. His focus stayed on me. "Bliss. What's going on?" Dash looked at me, silently pleading. Rhys was shaking his head slowly, already bracing for whatever was about to happen. I swallowed hard, turned toward Dad, and opened my mouth. "I've been intimate with them." Silence. Only my racing heartbeat could be heard. Rhys took a small step back and muttered, "Fucking hell..." Dad didn't explode like we all expected. He didn't raise his voice. Didn't swing. Didn't slam a fist into the wall. He just stood there. His jaw clenched. His fists curled at his sides. I panicked and started talking faster. I needed to get it all out of me. I had already spilled a part of it, so why stop there, right? "It's been going on for weeks. I started it. I kissed them. I did more. It was always me. I made them do it. I didn't mean for it to go so far, but it did. It was my idea. It wasn't them." "Bliss-" Rhys hissed, trying to get me to stop. "Lissy, please," Dash said quietly, sounding broken. But I couldn't stop. "I think something's wrong with me. I don't know why I wanted that kind of closeness from them. But I did. And now I feel so sick and confused and ashamed. I know it's wrong. I just...I think I need help. I need someone to fix whatever is going on in my head." Dad still didn't move. He didn't even look at me anymore. He was staring down the hallway like he was somewhere else. The tears started to burn my eyes again, and I wiped at them angrily. I didn't want to cry. It would only make things worse. I had done what I needed to do. I told the truth. Without saying a single word, Dad walked past us. His footsteps heavy. His expression blank. He walked away without looking back. I turned around slowly, feeling completely emptied out. And better. I felt so much better now that I confessed. So much so that a small smile tugged at my lips. Rhys looked pale. "He's getting the damn shotgun. We're all dead." "Don't be dramatic," Dash muttered, grabbing my hand gently again. "Come to bed, Lissy. You did what you had to." I nodded. My chest was still tight, but it wasn't unbearable anymore. The weight of the secret was off. I didn't feel better, because there was still something wrong with me, but I felt like I could breathe. Rhys didn't come with us. He disappeared into Tripp's room, probably hoping for backup if things got bad. As Dash pulled me back into the room and shut the door, I sat down on the bed and stared at my hands which were cold and a little shaky. Dash sat beside me, not saying anything at first. He didn't have to. I could feel his worry. He was scared, but he was holding it together for me. I looked over at him slowly. "He didn't yell." "No," Dash said. "He didn't." "I think that's worse." "Yeah," he whispered. "It is." He reached out and pulled me gently into his arms. I didn't fight it. I sank into his chest, feeling his arms wrap tightly around my back. He held me to make me feel better, and we both needed it. "I'm scared," I admitted quietly, pressing my face into his shoulder. "I know, baby. Me too." His lips brushed the side of my head. "But you're not alone in this. We'll figure it out. Whatever happens next...we'll deal with it. I promise." I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes. Our secret was out. The damage was done. Now all we could do was wait for what came next. 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