Most of my memories were among the of growing up because I always in survival mode, filtering off the bad ones. Nobody knew how hard it was to sneak around when parents weren’t looking just to catch a glimpse of was happening. Guns knives. Those things were common in this family. father to keep me away from the life he was born into because he said it was dangerous. Imagine the on my face when I turned fifteen he immediately on to a gun to someone’s head. The damn irony. What was he even Shielding me from way but as soon I was showed me everything. The things he was hiding me from, business at night and men who somehow up disappearing. they didn’t disappear. They were six feet under. “In this world, there survival. ” His were loud and clear, tattooed mind. Now, don’t wrong. was the perfect to his three children and a loving husband to but the Bratva, he was merciless leader. They feared the most important thing of all, respected him. Papa did make us happy. taught us the things any father would, like ride a bike, setting up how to drive. was there, he was present in our and he gave us everything he had. just, sometimes, to remove uneasiness of knowing he was a killer. A cold-blooded killer. Alexei, my was three older than me. The minute he turned eighteen, single responsibility given to -him he it or not, but I think, he enjoyed the power he had and the who threw themselves at him. He was like Papa, always worrying about family and our safety because he was scared that day, someone put à in his head and left the rest of us fend for ourselves. Then again, Papa wanted nothing than strong family. He taught us to how run and to kill. He wanted us to defend ourselves ever wrong. Remember how he said there is only in this world? Well, made we never who we were. We weren’t any ordinary family, and we would be. As much as I tried to deny the fact, we were Bratva itself. Most of girlfriends grew up socialites. shop-till-you-drop kind of socialites. mingling-with-rich-men kind of socialites. The always-wearing-high-heels kind of socialites. The perfect kind of socialites. So, imagine the look I told them I wanted to become doctor. An orthopedic, even. Well, Mama was okay it because she always convinced me to follow my heart. She knew the future was my hands even though trying to kill my plans. It took while finally convince him that I going to like my friends. I was going to shop every day, drink wine and socialize my night away because despite being a family where killing was normal, I wanted to save lives. That was when the persuading started. Die persuading joe bege giving and Alor jogge de lenne a jak tena nest day. Kampusli Zagation Markk te he money barque sorting to mit – her brosion in dee re meli નું ન na aa dile is a film રાત ગ ન કો 20:29 Wed, 9 they first met. They endless not just husband and wife. Their relationship was I wanted in future-a beautiful marriage. Well, Papa also assigned a for me-Igor. He kept his I saw around but most of the time, he was out of sight. He lurking in the shadows, always keeping an eye on me, and everything Papa but it didn’t bother much because got what I wanted. I got the chance to pursue my dreams. was there for me the days bad. Sometimes, the nights were bad, too. talked, occasionally, Other Igor keeping an eye on Mania was always asking whether things were going great. She kept with my daily life university. Papa never called honestly, I never blamed him. was the ungrateful daughter and it was keep my too. apart I knew he Mama about me. I Igor, I knew was me safe by him “Do you have I asked, as I a bite my sandwich. sitting a bench the park, the warm breeze. It was my regular go on afternoon walk and Igor would join me. I he secretly enjoyed our too but he never talked much. “I have a son. He replied, looking around-he was off-guard, always around if would somehow be ambushed or attacked. was that way. Besides, he was assigned protect his boss’ daughter. “How old is he?’ “He just turned ten. “Don’t you miss him?” “All the time. “You should spend time with him,” doesn’t know I exist,” he replied, and it didn’t take me long to his eyes. “What? Why not?” “It’s keep him safe. Enemies wouldn’t out our families, and wouldn’t be target if happens Besides, doesn’t have to know that his father is criminal. The conversation ended just like that. My mind drifted away to Papa, making if he forced accept this life. was born into it, just me. Maybe could, he would’ve wanted a different life. A different possibility for his children. Yet, he was responsible to the Bratva and his men. Some had to be sacrificed. Time had here I was, the age of thirty, in my final year of residency. I stared at reflection in the mirror before sighing. My eyes were red because the last I slept was probably hours ago. My cheekbones were hollow, and my lips were slightly chapped from being dehydrated. “F**k!” Someone cursed, making me turn. Lily, my colleague stepped out of cubicle and stood beside me. Her eyes were but I it wasn’t from the lack of she just her shift but from all the crying the restroom. She tried to fix her hair running her fingers through them the blonde strands into a bun “Is everything okay?” I asked. having a bad day” “Is John?” You see right through don’t you? is it the eyes? I look like I’ve crying?” She asked, to look at me as she blinked a few times-as if was to make her eyebags any less visible. “What eyes? couldn’t tell a thing. ” lips curved into a smile. always cry about John. you’re unhappy, you don’t have to put up with him. “I’m not unhappy. don’t know why he chose to not understand about my situation. He me be there all the time when it’s pretty obvious, I can’t. He’s freelancer he a of free time. I don’t. “Have you tried talking to him?” “Oh, I’ve tried the whole ‘communication is key thing. “I wish figure things out. crying restroom. Lily smiled, shaking her applied balm her lips, “Don’t about me, Alena. You, hand, should really get some rest. “I’m off “Spending rest of your day off in bed?” “Sleeping my sorrows away. I joked, leaving the restroom, down the hospital hallway. I down at my wristwatch, seeing I have one last patient before I leave. Honestly, if I were given the chance to look back and meet my younger self, I never thought make it far. The whole journey to become a doctor was harder it looked. was worth the struggle and the sleepless nights, was exhausting I knocked on the door before stepping in, seeing face light up as soon as he saw me. He was always that. Some nurses said he forward to meeting me-even though he was only admitted last week. I had my fair share of flirtatious patients. They funny. “There is, my favorite doctor. you your food. I told you many times. Just call me Adam. “Right… Adam, how did you sleep last night?” One the nurses walked in, pen and notepad case needed to jolt down any thing. “I slept okay. Thanks to the painkillers prescribed me. Your swelling went down a lot, too. You can discharge soon. I smiled, standing next to him, and further inspecting his shoulder. around my and not older thirty-five. He fell the stairs his house ended up with a fractured shoulder. was inspecting his shoulder, he was staring into eyes. he had on face was entertaining, as if was a teenager had a crush on an older woman. He never me during his stay here, but he kept flirting and I completely him. Besides, I was never in my patients or anyone in particular. “Has you mesmerizing your eyes?” reyes met. “I compliments them. you deserve them. You’re absolutely beautiful. “They aren’t I smiled, leaning back on his right, heartbeat. you perhaps, single?” “No, I hate to disappoint you but I’m not. The was as smooth butter. It was a habit lie to patients about my marital status if they to get a hopeful. I had been asked on dates I politely declined each one of them. The easiest escape was to tell them I was married. One be too crazy to bother a married woman. “I don’t see a on your finger. ” He glanced down at my hands “Can I take you out on a date? attending nurse beside shaking her head as she pretended not to hear anything. She wanted to laugh, and it obvious she was holding it back, but I poker face ignoring his attempts. “I wear my ring when I’m working. It’s piece. I replied. “That’s right. Orlov’s would always come up from work. ” My attending Karla, and occasionally glancing at a few times. She was to me, and she knew how patients try me out on a date. ” Adam cleared his throat, leaning back. “If that’s everything. I’ll draft out a plan your recovery. I’ll see you next week,” Karla and I walked out, closing the door behind us. Karla chuckled, holding the notepad close to her chest. That would be week?” “Twentieth. must be exhausted all the compliments, Alena. “I feed off compliments. ” I joked and we laughed. *Well, your shift’s over. You had a long one. Please, some rest “I’ll you next week, Karla. As I reached my in the basement, I stepped inside let out long sigh. I back in my seat after starting the engine. All I think of at the moment was to go home. That was until my phone started ringing, making me look down to see it was my brother. 20:29 Wed, Oct 9 “Alena,” he said on the otherJine. “To what I owe this pleasure of you me?” He chuckled, doing great. you for asking. “How are you, Alyosha?” “I’m fine. just got home beating someone to death,” I frowned, clearing my throat. “I do need to that. “Too much information?” “Why are you calling I asked. “Come on. haven’t talked to you in a while. How are going work?” “We don’t need the small talk. Just get straight to the point, please. Alexei sighed, annoyed. I could imagine pinching the of his nose-a habit he from Papa. He was probably leaning on his seat and planning out his next probably he was going to beat someone else to death. Then again, he had in the Bratva. just want to remind you about tonight. ” He spoke. What tonight?” “The charity gala. You’d be expected join, Papa would head. “Why would have your head? You’re the now. “When it you, I’m mere slave. you a deal with when you wanted to go into medical case you forgot” He talk, must every single event involves our family. You are still a Bratva princess, Alena I cursed under my breath in Russian. “I hate it when you remind me that” it this far… what makes tonight any different?” I had long and I think of is to go have a long bath sleep. “Just be there tonight, please? I don’t want him get mad at you. **k, I want him mad at me. Besides, Ana seen you months. She misses you. or Anastasia, our sister. in the family and most loved. She was eight when started to move out of house furthered studies. We didn’t have a lot time together but whenever I home the holidays or my we’d bond. Alexei and I would run to the ends of the earth for her. she was already a thriving at the of twenty “You miss me, too?” kept a couple of seconds, “Severely. “How she, by the way?” about Ana. baby sister is doing well. She a now,” 20:29 Wed, Oct 9 “Does Papa know?” “They met a few times. with it?” “Surprisingly, I run background check on him and he’s clean. Ana to be happy ever since he came around,” “And you?” “What about me?” “Who’s girlfriend of week?” He laughed. “I don’t date, Alena. I have my fun with them and it. “Karma is going come at you, Alyosha. “If still alive karma come get me. You better make sure to attend tonight or I’ll be on the news tomorrow. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Send me the address and everything,” Oh, and Alena?” “What else?” “Don’t be late. Then, hung up the phone. My brother, Alexei, took over as Pakhan after Papa retired. Now, Papa Mama spent most time travelling the world. They to enjoy the while they still can. Alexes was left to take care of everything. Every single was on shoulders. Papa expected anything but failure him. “He was never going to disappoint, anyway. I had be there tonight. Besides, haven’t seen Ana and I missed her.